How far i have come, a CD feeling from me

[messylaura]

I've posted this in a seperate thread as not to flame or off tack other threads
As you all know by now and right from the start of my online apperance i am a Wam CD

but the main point of this post is to try and let people know how i feel and to what degree of CD i am, for obvious reasons

I've been lucky to have been able to have the oppertunity to live in a diverse city that mostly tollerates CD's in and around, of course there are loads of people that still hate CD's just as there are people that hate other race or religeions by sight, but all in all its been a great experiance and pleasure to live as i want most of the time, well i still stick to being laura at night, drag and daylight just not a good combo LOL

regaurding thursday night, for me to walk through soho at night as Bobby was really weird and uncomftorble, just 10 years or so the same would have been said when i first stepped out as Laura
yes i sometimes get calls of "thats a geezer" from people when i'm out as Laura, its something that doesnt bother me really as its just passing comment, and like wise i get good complimets from people too,
Some intreasting and funny conversations have been had while sitting in a cafe or relaxing by a fountain.

for me Being Laura at night isn't just a thing to do to get turned on, its how i feel, comftorble, and "normal"

for me to be Bobby in soho at night is just as uncomftorble as me being laura during the day in public would be.

because of my job (panel beater) and lack of money i never was able to have surgury to be more feminine, thats not to say i want at present to have a sex change, i'm still happy with my male side
just that it would be great to loose the big nose and to have my face more feminised, maybe then i would reconsider other changes
I'm not gay so im not looking to get rid of "it" but sometimes i do wish i had an all female body so i could wear what ever i liked in the dress, skirt area, but i do have to choose carefully as its not lady like to have bulges in the wrong place, considering i nearly always end up drenched is even more of a problem with wet clingy clothes.

just my thoughts on being me, both of me.

[andy250]

Thanks for taking the time to come to the meet as Bobby, as was asked by the group, I personally was really glad you turned up. It was a shame I was so tired from the travelling and other jobs I'd been doing before the London trip. Plus being the first time their, it would have been rude if did not spend some time chatting to all of the group. As well as people I really wanted to know more about, to be honest the pub we where in was completely main stream, mostly had people waiting to go to the opera etc, etc.

For me personally it takes time to learn the in's and outs of the people who do cd, I wonder if this one of the things that other people maybe uncofomtablewith. Their was deffo, no problems as you where on Thursday. I have to classic memorys from chatting to you, the first one was when you we asking the barmaid what time do you put the cat out!!!, I was giggling my head off that, the second one was yourself and Lisa dancing to A-ha 'Take on me' in the second bar, while ordering chips at the same time.

I did wonder? if you wanted to be trans gender before meeting you, after Thursday night, I decied no, I thought just liked being artistc, and wear possible in the evening being en-femme.

Thanks for taking the time to put the post up, maybe it will help you learn to maybe able to adjust Bobby/Laura wear required. Like I say it would have been a great shame to have missed you, and you did decied 'for the thoughts of the group'

I wont say anymore as we've only just got chatting really, if you want to pm you are more than welcome.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

regards

Andy
(p.s. that hair does need a custard shampoo.)


Maybe sometime in the future we can do some pics for you maybe meet up or come down a day earlier its all early days yet.

[messylaura]

custard shampoo !!, most definatly, its been far too long since i wammed with custard, i'm rebuilding wam stocks for the last few weeks now.

[TottyMcGee]

People do cross-dress for different reasons. For some it's just a game, for others something deeper and more important. One of the reasons I tend not to spend much time in the trans community is the tendency of some there to turn the whole thing into a competition to see who's the most transgendered, particularly as these displays of competetive femeninity are so often based on dodgy gender stereotypes of the kind any self-respecting GG would reject at once. There are other symptoms of the same sort of thing that I won't go into (personally I think it should be enough to simply be human in whatever way works for you), but let's leave it there and I'll simply state what I now know my own trans-side to be, based on the past eight years or so of experimentation;

Had I been born a girl, I'd have dressed as a boy. As it was, I was born as a boy, so I dress as a girl. Or a boy. Or whatever the fuck else I feel like, depending on my mood. I am not a gender dysphoric trapped in the wrong body (though several people have attempted to convince me otherwise at various times), I'm a pathological misfit and contrary bugger that wants it all. It's also been suggested that my assorted personae are symptoms of schizophrenia, but I just see it as emphasising different aspects of my personality according to what the situation calls for - I've always felt like the same basic person (a person who is male, incidentally) no matter what role I'm in at the time.

Anyway, so much for me, back to you, Laura.. nice post by the way

Please don't take offence from anything I say here (I mean none) and tell me if I'm talking a load of crap - all I know of you is what I know from your posts, and I've suffered enough listening to armchair psychologists over the years to not want to be one myself.

for me Being Laura at night isn't just a thing to do to get turned on, its how i feel, comftorble, and "normal"

well i still stick to being laura at night, drag and daylight just not a good combo LOL

I don't know, there's plenty of nice daywear available! But given what you have to say there could be an aspect of keeping the daytime, when you are required to concentrate on work matters, for Bobby and the evening, when you get to let your hair out and relax, for Laura. Then the concerns of one need never get in the way of the other. Which is cool.

regaurding thursday night, for me to walk through soho at night as Bobby was really weird and uncomftorble, just 10 years or so the same would have been said when i first stepped out as Laura
yes i sometimes get calls of "thats a geezer" from people when i'm out as Laura, its something that doesnt bother me really as its just passing comment, and like wise i get good complimets from people too, Some intreasting and funny conversations have been had while sitting in a cafe or relaxing by a fountain.

I have never found myself totally alienated when out in full drag (often it's been female friends who've encouraged me to dress up for the night in the first place) - given that I've always failed to fit in to any given social grouping with the failures getting more disastrous the more I tried, in the end I figured maybe my role in life was to simply be a friendly misfit. So I stopped caring and just did whatever I felt would be fun - and lo and behold, it worked. A lot of this I ascribe to the "doing it so you don't have to" thing I mentioned in the other thread, it's nice to have a none-threatening sideshow around to make life interesting at no cost to you. As I've got older, the need to do this isn't so great and I'm able to do one or the other depending on how I feel. There was a time when I was in skirts (though not necessarily in drag) 24/7, at which time people only ever commented if they saw me in trousers. As for sarky comments from passers-by, usually they're meant as jokes and I take them as such. Those that are just plain shitty are never made to my face, just from the passing cars, from the top of bridges or other out of reach places. Maybe these long-range hecklers don't want to take the risk, however remote, of losing a fight to a transvestite (I'm not a scrapper unless I absolutely have to be, but I don't do sissy either).

because of my job (panel beater) and lack of money i never was able to have surgury to be more feminine, thats not to say i want at present to have a sex change, i'm still happy with my male side
just that it would be great to loose the big nose and to have my face more feminised, maybe then i would reconsider other changes
I'm not gay so im not looking to get rid of "it" but sometimes i do wish i had an all female body so i could wear what ever i liked in the dress, skirt area, but i do have to choose carefully as its not lady like to have bulges in the wrong place, considering i nearly always end up drenched is even more of a problem with wet clingy clothes.

You need to learn the dark and magical art of tucking! It sounds scary, but people do a lot worse to themselves in the name of fashion and once everything's in position it's quite comfortable. The secret is a combination of tucking, smoothing and misdirection rather than trying to make it disappear altogether.
Surgery of course should never be taken lightly and brings with it a whole new raft of risks and problems, besides there's so much you can do by less drastic means.
The mistake many t-girls make is having an image of their ideal woman that they'd like to resemble and then getting all depressed because they don't look anything like it (either that or deluding themselves that they do and then getting all depressed because people laugh at them); for example a 6'2 sixteen stone middle aged bloke wanting to look like Britney Spears. A genuine girl of that size would not attempt to dress that far outside of her age and body type and would be laughed at if she did - you have to make the best of what you have.
The differences between the genders aren't always the ones people think of, and there are many areas of overlap that get overlooked. GG's have been battling against the commercially orientated "female ideal" for years, there's nothing good going to come from guys falling for that bullshit too.

I'd love to get a chance to sit down and chat sometime, Bobby - though we've some subtle differences, there's a lot of what you've said that reminds me of journeys I've been through in the past. PM me if you fancy a chat.

[messylaura]

yeah i'd love to meet you too, i was hoping to meet you at the north meet but you are out filming LOL

as for the drag and daylight dont mix, i ment that as a face thing really, sure i have loads of great wear for all occasions, but my face although not butch is not the best shape for trying to pass as female in the daytime, its too long and my nose is too big
also my job requires steel toe cap boots and tough clothing etc, doing welding and beating the crap out of smashed london taxi cabs so its really hard to get stay feminie all the time, which is great because i havent got to worry about all the things you have to as Laura, messy up makeup, getting a run in stockings etc

and yeah i tryed the tucking lark and it was just uncomftorble, i manage great with a few cheats,

hopefully we will meet one day for a chin wag.

[matt2matt2002]

I love the idea of a beautiful lady being sploshed and in the absense of one I make do with my 'other side' by pulling on the sussies etc.
A 44D cup holds a lot of eggs and wobbles around for ages while i fill my panties with custard and rice pudding. Unbroken eggs at the top of stockings add a big thrill too.
Of course 'bad' girls get a spanking and that's when the fun and mess really starts.
Does this make me a CD?
Well, it certainly makes me a happy Splosher

[messylaura]

well it certainly makes you a fun wammer, if not a wam CD LOL

[messymercedes]

I did'nt think that Scottish men wore panties or pants under their kilts (skirts) Another rumour that has been shattered Oh Geee

Cede xx

[messylaura]

on that thought, i have been out as Laura in the rain in just a fur coat and high heels
oh my that was sooo exhilerating

[matt2matt2002]

Well, us Scottish Sploshers certainly do wear panties under out kilts.
Esp. when they are full of un broken eggs
or baked beans.
That's why we kind of waddle when we walk.
Try it for yourself one day - it's fun!
And don't forget the sporran flapping about your front bottom!!

[messylaura]

That's why we kind of waddle when we walk.

i thought that was the alcohol in your bladders