Your Dear Splosh Santa Letters...

[BillShipton]

Ho-ho-ho! (Who are you calling a 'ho? - Hayley)

Okay, ripping off Tricky's idea with a slight Christmas adaptation. This is your postbox for Splosh! Santa. Please write your letters detailing what YOU would most like for a messy Christmas here. To help you, I have added a letter you can just copy and fill in the blanks or you can start from scratch, if you can be arsed. Go on, let your imagination run wild. All celebrities welcome. No limits. It's Chriiissssstmas! And if you have been very good this year then who knows it may even come true...

Dear Splosh Santa

I have been a very well behaved boy/girl and would really, really like to have.......................come and
...............................with a bucket of......................and a few...................and then put..................in his/her...................and my..........................whilst wearing.....................and...................my .............. before.............me with a stick of rhubarb. Please don't let Rudolf watch as it puts me off.

Yours


'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
PS There's a glass of crap British sherry and a Mr Kipling mince pie in it for you.

Now simply post your message on this thread and we will make sure Splosh! Santa gets it. Gooo on, lets hear what you really want this Xmas.

[Whitestar]

Dear Splosh Santa

I do have respect for you only coming once a year and down the chimney just to unload your sack.

I have been a very well behaved boy and I expect that you will get lots of letters stating the same thing (some template floating around t’internet I believe) so I thought I would send you my wish list in the form of the 12 Days of Christmas. Please feel free to hum along.

Splosh Santa, if you could find my true love (and tell her to get a move on as I have not yet found her!) this is what I would like to be sent to me…

On the first day of Christmas – An industrial clean up crew!
On the second day of Christmas – Two sessions with Candy!
On the third day of Christmas – Three Cream Horns [make of that what you will!!]
On the fourth day if Christmas – Four Messy Girls!
On the fifth day of Christmas - FIVE PIES IN THE FACE!
On the six day of Christmas – Six tins of whipped cream!
On the seventh day of Christmas – Seven Cake sittings!
On the eighth day of Christmas – Eight witty Splosh forum posts!
On the ninth day of Christmas – Nine more messy ladies!
On the tenth day of Christmas – Ten leaps into the mud!
On the eleventh day of Christmas – Eleven eggs smashed on to Hayley!
On the twelfth day of Christmas – Twelve trips to the gunge tank

I am sure this little ditty will keep you jolly, and if it doesn't I am sure you can amuse yourself, after all you know where all the bad girls live!

Here’s hoping you fulfil my wish.

Rod

P.S. Bah Humbug!

[Deprime]

Dear Bill,

I have been a very well behaved boy and would really, really like to have you come and
surprise me with a bucket of mental health and a few blanc cheques and then put a huge number on it. Me and myself will appreciate the fact that you will destroy all animal cruelty, and lock up bad people in my creepy torture chamber before handing me an empty christmas sock. Please don't let Hayley watch as it puts me on!

I love you like I love myself,

Marco

[Phantom]

Dear Splosh Santa

I have been on my best behaviour all year in the hope that you'll bring me Lily S, all wrapped up in some pink satin lingerie and a smart black business suit. If you have room in your sack, could you also bring all the items listed in the recent 'A-Z of messy substances' thread. Then I can treat Lily to a memorable Christmas dinner. I can provide my own stuffing.

Cheers, and Merry Christmas

Phantom

[Aufpet]

Dear Santa Splosh

I'd like a messy slapstick Clown Julie, Sammy Jane and Gilly Christmas please....

plus a Stretch Armstrong, Buckeroo and 3D TV (3D Splosh - there's a thought!).

''Santa Hayley, put a deh dah under the tree, Santa Hayley etc etc''

[Hayley]

Dear Santa Splosh
''Santa Hayley, put a deh dah under the tree, Santa Hayley etc etc''

Loving it! So, just for you....

And more to come over Crimbo - if everything works!

Santa Hayley xxx

[Deprime]

Christmas comes early this year, thanks!!!!

[Squelch]

Hayley, I'm guessing this is the outfit you were waiting for in the post in your earlier thread?? That lovely hair of yours is just begging for a santa hat full of custard to be pulled down over it. And I can just imagine how good it will feel inside that pvc santa coat when you're soaked with goo

[Hayley]

Hayley, I'm guessing this is the outfit you were waiting for in the post in your earlier thread?? That lovely hair of yours is just begging for a santa hat full of custard to be pulled down over it. And I can just imagine how good it will feel inside that pvc santa coat when you're soaked with goo

You will have to wait and see, Squelch. Now, shut your eyes and go to sleep or Santa Hayley won't come and visit!
H xxxxx

[mr angry]

Dear Splosh Santa,

HAYLEY IN THAT SANTA OUTFIT PLEEAASSSEEE!!!!