Laudanum and Opiate in 'The Invention of Gunge'

[TheDirtyDubFox]

Hi all, I'm a long time fan and Lurker. I'm 21 male, straight etc blah blah. Thought I'd share this with you. If you like it, there's more.



Laudanum and Opiate in 'The Invention of Gunge'

“Gentlemen, I propose a toast. To the driving force which will propel the magnificent British Empire far into the twentieth centaury and beyond… Gentlemen, to steam!”

The assembled industrialists, engineers, scientists and politicians that made up the organising committee of the World Exhibition 1880 roared their approval, and set to their meals. Among them was Ignatius Laudanum, the greatest sleuth and sharpest mind in all of Albertion London. Laudanum had been drafted onto the committee to ensure the safety of King Albert and his wife Victoria throughout the eight-day celebration of science and technology that would take place in six months time. His senses were as finely tuned to intrigue as they ever were, but tonight at least his sense of smell was also tuned to the dainty starter of Quail’s Tear Soup that sat steaming in from of him.

“I say Laudanum, isn’t this most splendid? If tonight’s fare is anything to go by, we shall certainly enjoy our time on the Exhibition organising committee, I should say”. Next to Laudanum sat his long time companion and partner in crime-solving, Isaiah Opiate.
“Absolutely Opiate old chum, but we mustn’t let ourselves be distracted from the danger at hand. We must ensure that no harm comes to the king or his wife, and such preventatives must start now. Over the next six months we must endeavour to develop a cunning and foolproof plan of action should any anarchists or enemies of the empire sneak a bomb into the World Exhibition opening ceremony. My reputation, and consequently yours, rests on our success.”

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In his study at 21c Taylor Street, Ignatius Laudanum was drafting fire safety regulations for the exhibition when the was a loud banging at his door.
“Opiate old sausage skin? Would you mind awfully seeing who is making that dreadful noise, and once you have informed them just whose door it is they are hammering on, please have one of the boys from the cobblers next door beat him up in the gutter? There’s a good chap.”
Muffled voices in the hall reached Laudanum as he carefully circled the potential exits on a floor plan, making careful note of those suitable for use by a lady in a large dress, with the help of a small mannequin on his desk. There was a light tap on the door and Opiate’s concerned, neatly powdered face appeared in the frame.
“Damn it man! I am busy! I am working on some protocols which I believe have yet to be invented! Will you give me peace?”, shouted the red faced Laudanum.

“But Laudanum, there is a distressed young lady here to see you, she says she has some news which will interest you”, protested Opiate.

“Damn. I will be out directly”, Laudanum replied, “fetch the lady whatever she desires in the meantime. However will I finish these ’health and safety directives’ with all these damn interruptions…”

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In the Parlour, Opiate was mopping the young lady’s brow. She lay on a red velvet Chaise Lounge, in a torn and tatty brown dress which nevertheless displayed rather a lot of heaving pink bosom. Her hair was long and bright red, and her face pretty. As far as Laudanum could make out, she looked damp.

“Now then young miss, Professor Opiate here tells me you have news you wish to impart? I hope it is worth interrupting my work with?!

“Oh sir, I fink you will be glad I ave come, cos wot I ave to say is proper weird, that is to say unusual. I reckon it would be right up your street sir”, the girl pleaded, now sitting up in her chair.

Laudanum motioned for her to continue, and with a few breaths of air, she began.

“Well larst night sir, I was working down Whitechapel. It had just got dark and a real pea-souper had set in, proper eerie it was sir- “

Laudanum interrupted, “Am I to assume that you are one of London’s many prostitutes Miss…?”

“It’s Felici’y sir, Felici’y Pover’y, and yes, I am what you might call a working girl. Since I lost my job at the Woolworth when I was eighteen sir,’

“How kind of you set the scene so Miss, er, Felici’y. Do continue.”

“As you wish sir… Well anyway, the night was drawing in and it was all quiet likes. I ain’t ‘ad a customer at all until out of the gloom comes this genllemen. He’s all dressed up fine, like what you are mister Opiate, with his long coat and shiny buttons and cane and that. He arsks me what me rates are , and I tell him. So he arsks for a thrupenny whoopsie and says he knows a nice discrete place we can go. Only, we never gets there.

The next thing I know, I’m waking up from being asleep. It’s dark and I’m sitting upright, tied to a big steel chair. I can hardly move around likes, what with me neck being locked in this steel collar whats attached to the back of the chair, and I looks down and me wrists are the same. I can’t see me feet but I knows they’re locked up too, cos I can feel it.

So I’m sitting there, all helpless and I’m thinking ’Cor, this ain’t half strange’, when a big light flashes on above my head. I can’t hardly see nothing’, ’cept there’s a figure moving about, in front of me. I can hear him laughing and cackling and then the light gets a bit dimmer. I’m feeling really helpless and vulnerable by this time, especially when I notice I’m inside some sort of big glass box. I started to panic a little bit, and I tried to get out of them steel bracelets but I just couldn’t move. I could see that figure on the opposite side of the glass but I couldn’t make him out. He seemed to be messing with something when the light’s got a little bit dimmer still, and then all I could see was my reflection in the glass.

I could see myself locked in the chair and I panicked some more, cos above me there was this big shiny nozzle and I could only guess what terrors might fall out all over my poor, unprotected head. And that’s when it happened. I saw in the reflection some sort of horrible green stuff come pouring out, and then I felt it on my head. It was cold, and heavy and sort of wet but sort of not at the same time. It was runny, but not like water or milk, more like melted honey or chocolate. I felt it cover my head and seep into my hair, matting it to my scalp. I watched in the reflection as it cascaded all over my shoulders and all over my chest, all over my breasts. It was even colder there, and it made me flinch and shiver. It ran down between my breasts and into unmentionable places sit, and I knew that bloke was out there and it made me feel so ashamed. I felt really humiliated, tied, helpless covered in some sort of awful, disgusting muck. I dunno what it was sirs… but I call it ‘gunge’…”

“Gunge!” breathed Opiate and Laudanum together.

“But it don’t end there sir. Cos I was sitting in this stuff for ages. It soaked further and further into my dress, it matted my hair something horrible. It slid deeper into my unmentionables and I could feel it soaking my, er, well-you-know. Ages I was sat there. Then, the nozzle made a noise and this time a thick, yellow liquid came pouring out. It was runnier than the other lot and spilled all over my face so I couldn’t see. It cascaded over my face, covering it, sticking to my eyebrows and eyelashes, coating my lips, even getting into my ears and nostrils and it smelt awful. I’ve never felt so disgusting in all my life.

But then… I stopped feeling disgusting. That is to say, I didn’t, I was still revolted but now somehow I felt… excited. I squirmed around in the seat, trying to work the nasty stuff deeper into me well-you-know, trying to get it inside me, and it felt great.

That’s when the collar round me neck came undone. It just shot apart back into the seat and I was able to move a bit more. I tried to flick the gunge out of my eyes so I could see what I looked like, cos I had this feeling I looked better than I ‘ad ever done, but I couldn’t quite manage it on account of the yellow filth still pouring out the nozzle. Then the arm locks came undone too! I was suddenly able to wipe my face, run my hands through my hair, wipe my breasts and stroke my well-you-know. I rubbed it through my dress but that wasn’t enough so I grabbed handfuls of it and rubbed it straight in and it felt fucking amazing, pardon my Scotch sirs.

I rubbed and rubbed, I loved the feeling of being dirty, being a yucky, slimy little slut, locked in a glass box all gooey… Ahem…

Anyway, I dunno what happened next. Last I know, I’m laid out in the First Class waiting lounge at Euston Station, all wet. Wet but clean. I thought this might interest you mister Laudanum, so I come to find you”.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHITECHAPEL WHORE? WAS SHE REALLY ABDUCTED AND GUNGED AGAINST HER WILL? WAS IT ALL A SEXY DREAM? WILL WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT SINISTER PRESCENCES PLAN TO DO TO THE ROYAL FAMILY? AM I REALLY GOING TO WRITE A PIECE OF STEAM PUNK EROTIC SPLOSH FICTION ABOUT QUEEN VICTORIA?

READ NEXT WEEKS INSTALLMENT OF ‘OPIATE AND LAUDANUM’ TO FIND OUT!!!!

[TottyMcGee]

Excellent stuff - looking forward to the next thrilling installment!

[BillShipton]

Have moved this to the Reading Room where it is better suited.

[Richard]

An excellent and very atmospheric story. If you are going to talk about steam then I'm your man but who the hell is/was 'King Albert'? Queen Victoria was married to Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg Gotha but he was never a king of anywhere!

Please don't let me put you off though, I'm looking forward to the next instalment.

[Simon_Saint_Templar]

Excellent Story! Absolutely spiffing! Carry on...

[ssundae]

This is brilliant!!!! i love it! can't wait for the next one!!!!

[Squelch]

Enjoyed that a lot. Look forward to more

[PleasePieMeMistress]

Who the hell is/was 'King Albert'? Queen Victoria was married to Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg Gotha but he was never a king of anywhere!

Please don't let me put you off though, I'm looking forward to the next instalment.

I was wondering about that too, but despite the historical inaccuracy I found myself really enjoying this story!