by welshcakes » 18 Jun 2006, 21:24
In the days before the miracle of WAM on tap, via the internet, I used to have anxiety dreams about not being able to find a copy of Splosh on the shelf in a newsagent. It always went pretty much like this:
I walk into the newsagent and...BEHOLD...a single copy of Sposh, featuring the most incredible WAM photo on the cover ever printed anywhere in the world ever. I take it down, thumb through the pages, and instantly start making a slug-trail in my pants. Inside are endless pictures of the most gorgeous women on the planet enthusiastically pushing great big squishy pies into each others faces, rubbing handfuls of gloopy gunge into each others privates and massaging each others breasts with great big dollops of cream. Oh yes, and tongueing each other too. It's a wet and messy dream come true!
So, I put the mag back on the shelf and start fumbling through my pockets to see how much money I've got. Luckily, I have just enough, so I go to pick up the mag to buy it and...horror of horrors, it's gone!
Frantically, I search through all the mags on every shelf but it's simply disapppeared. Gone forever. Never shall I have the opportunity to "palm one off" over those incredible pictures.
And then I'd wake up in a cold sweat. I'm sure glad those days are over.
Look, if you're all going to throw pies around would you mind throwing them at me!!!