by TottyMcGee » 06 Mar 2007, 21:44
A few notes on issue b) listed above. Comments welcomed and appreciated.
A specific concern that has been expressed is the issue of watchers (or anyone for that matter) turning up with the idea that they'll have carte blanche to mess up anyone who takes their fancy, in particular females who might end up fending off a procession of gunge wielding horny jerks when they're just trying to chat. This is indeed an important matter to address, so here goes.
As I've said before, I've modelled my vision of what I'd like to see happen with the WAM scene on my experiences in the general fetish scene, where the focus is very much on the doing/lifestyle aspect (as has been the focus of Splosh! over the years, which is why this board has been such a terrific catalyst for making it happen). One of the aspects of the BDSM club scene that most people find coming in is that it is essentially an open clique. Anybody genuine is welcomed, but to find out where the action is you need to let those in the scene get to know you, to show you've a genuine interest and that you'll be fun to play with. To a certain extent, this is the purpose of the network of munches that go on all around the country - chatting online isn't enough, some offline contact is needed. When Andy and I play with new people, we always insist on at least one conversation by telephone prior to meeting up. If someone won't even do that it casts serious doubt on their reliability and it's hardly an unreasonable request.
But as cliques go, the fetish scene is not hard to find. Anyone interested can find where the clubs and munches are, then whether they get invited to parties or blackballed as letches is up to them.
Following the last couple of years of meets, sessions and splunches we're getting to the stage now where we're getting to know each other quite well in r/l and the interest shown in the Leeds Munch shows we're capable of coming together in decent numbers, so the time is good for trying something like the Messy Bear's Picnic. With this board now we have developed a community of do-ers and shown ourselves capable of welcoming newcomers to the scene while dissuading those who fail to conduct themselves appropriately. So what we have here is an open clique. Basically, the way to keep the dirty macs away is to make it too much effort for them to show up and cause trouble.
I suggest openly discussing the MBP and indeed encouraging people to attend, but keeping the details of the precise location for those who've made the effort to show an interest (as Hayley once told me, advertising these things for all and sundry risks getting a good attendance of undercover tabloid hacks). If it would help, it'd be a simple matter to set up a password protected forum room (either here or on the Wamdrogony forum) for those we know to be genuine, where the meat and potatoes of MPB discussion can take place.
So much for getting the right people there, what if there are still people who show up and act like jerks?
When you go to a fetish club, you don't get to grab anyone who takes your fancy, sub or otherwise, and drag them off to the dungeon. Anyone taking liberties either in that way or by taking a consensual session too far will be observed by others in attendance (in particular the dungeon organisers) and action taken against the offender. Anyone stupid enough to abuse trust in a club environment will soon find themselves made unwelcome within the scene as a whole.
Similarly the idea of the MBP is not to have a formal sploshing party where everyone has to either get messy or fuck off but to have a social environment to eat, drink, chat and be merry with the option open and encouraged for people to get messy with each other if they want to. Some may only wish to play with their partners, which should be respected. Some adventurous types may invite everyone to bring it on and still overs may want to just chat. All is acceptable.
I also submit that an important thing to have with the MBP is a general safeword, so if you do feel uncomfortable or simply do not wish to play you can say so without ambiguity - "teddybear" springs to mind as a suitable safeword as it's memorable within the theme yet unlikely to be uttered in the course of normal play. Ignoring a safeword would of course be considered a breach of consent, at which point someone would step in.
