Splat Bill Vol 1

[Hayley]

Hi

I had a brilliant idea last night thanks to watching Mr Tarrantino's gore fest taped from last week - it's a messy pisstak of Kill Bill. Sadly it's far too expensiveto ever film but if I have time I will write it as a story...

The Bride (me, of course!) is found lying in the remains of her satin gown splattered from head to foot in pies, blackcurrant, treacle etc along with her guests. It seems that Bill has taken offence at me running off and marrying a nice sane man and got his revenge by wrecking my wedding. Bill and his deadly pie assassins think that I'll never survive as brutal a pieing as that but they are wrong...

One by one, (and in a series of increasing tight outfits!) I seek revenge on my adversaries - messing them up in individual ways to suit their personalities. The first volume ends with a massive food fight between me and 30 guys as I leap from table to table avoiding huge pies and cakes. Then I do battle with their Oriental leader - played, of course, by Tigerr Benson!

In Vol 2, I take on the rest...and finally Bill himself....

I really fancy myself as the WAM version of Uma Thurman!

Sorry, just a thought....

Hayley x x x

[DecadentDoll]

haha I LOVE IT!

i swear i'll shake a tin night and day to get the funding on that!

[DungeonMasterOne]

I'll buy the movie rights to that one!

Now, where did I put those six numbers from next Saturday's draw again?...

[wamram]

Sounds like fun do you need any extras .
As DM1 said if only we had next saturdays lotto numbers........... .

wamram

[Phantom]

That's a great idea for a wam-spoof movie. I think it's actually quite do-able, except for the bit where the bride faces O-ren's mini-army.

You know the bit where Go-go attacks, swinging a metal ball with blades on a chain? I wonder if that could be replaced by something like a balloon filled with custard on a length of cord? But maybe it would break too easily...

Maybe the whole film couldn't be done, but certain key scenes lend themselves to brilliant spoofs.

You know the bit where she fights Vivacia A. Fox, but the little daughter arrives home and they act like nothing's wrong? I think it would be funny if they're having an all-out food fight, covered with just about everything imaginable ... then they see the school bus pull up and the daughter walking up the drive.

Cut to the next scene, the daughter opens the front door and they've somehow miraculously cleaned up totally, and they're standing there out of breath and virtually spotless ... just a tell tale blob of cream on the end of the bride's nose (although the rest of the living room is still trashed with huge splats of food all over the walls and furniture).

A little later, the gun-in-the-cereal-box scene could be replaced with a scene where Bea has a hose pipe concealed (up the back of her jacket and down her sleeve into the cereal box) ... so when she fires on Vivacia, the cereal box seems to spout an endless stream of gunge, covering her head to foot. The little girl reappears and tops her mommy off with a cream pie to the face.

Ahh - just spotted the fatal flaw in that idea ... a little girl in a WAM film? Uh uh!! But you COULD use a WAM model in pigtails and a schoolgirl uniform (this just gets better!!).

Phantom

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[DecadentDoll]

replace the little girl playing Vivica's daughter with an over 18 girl playing her sister. not much of a change, still a family member she would need to hide from upon seeing her arrive home.

I dont think Hayley really cares as long as she gets to wear the yellow catsuit/jumpsuit and have fun

[BillShipton]

Hay and I were discussing it on the phone yesterday and decided (as you have, Phantom) that bits could be done quite well so we might give it a go. Certainly the general theme is a great one, and I like the idea of replacing blood and guts with cake and custard. Sadly budget and not being Quentin Tarrantino means that it would have to be a deliberately rubbish parody.

As for the schoolgirl scene, I think it would be funnier if it was a Big Comedy Schoolgirl (like Dolly) coming in, though filming a schoolbus might get us into serious trouble!

And as for the outfit...I think it is Torture Garden clothing that does a yellow rubber catsuit that you-know-who has her eyes on! But the gag would be that she is dressed differently for each "assassination" (like the Alice in Wonderland parody in our book, Mucky Tales).

Hayley has always had a secret desire to be in a big comedy bar-room brawl type scene, so it comes as no surprise that she latched on to this. Actually that's an understatement, she can't stop talking about it!!

[starbrightnight]

This sounds great, especially a deliberately rubbish parody in Bill's own inimitible style. I think I would far rather watch such a film than the original - especially if Hayley stars in it.

[Hayley]

Would still like to hear other people's ideas for it though so keep them coming!

Hayley

PS The catsuit Bill mentioned....only without the helmet, of course!

[andy250]

I think this is a crackin idea, have to watch the budget though, if we could help in anyway at Wamdrogony you only have to ask. Do like the idea though.

regards

Andy

[Phantom]

Bill

No need to show the school bus at all - just the adult 'schoolgirl' skipping happily up the garden path, humming to herself and swinging her school bag or lunchbox.

Even with budget restraints etc, it could still be a really fun, excellent set of scenes.

What were the team called? Deadly Viper Assasination Squad? Hmmm ... now there must be a WAM pun in there somewhere...

Phantom


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[caroline2]

I think this is a great idea; and a brilliant choice of film to parody.