Pain

View · by **messylaura** » 19 Oct 2006, 04:30

reaching out for a hug and no ones there
looking in the cupboard and its bare
wanting to cry and theres no tear
such a waste of a wonderful soul
does anyone out there really care
living life like tis is such a pain
let my blood flow down the drain
:cry:

View · by **kyoob** » 19 Oct 2006, 20:23

oh dear laura, what's up?

View · by **alext** » 23 Oct 2006, 23:20

Indeed, are you alright?

View · by **messylaura** » 28 Oct 2006, 18:44

sorry, i get really down sometimes and some times its really bad, i used to be able to cope with that but i cant seem to these days

View · by **Richard** » 29 Oct 2006, 01:04

Hang in there Laura, nothing is as bad as it seems at the time. When you come to look back at this period of your life you will wonder why you were so depressed. We all go through these periods from time to time, when we think no-one loves us but, believe me, there is always some glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel and when you get there, all will be well. If you gave up now you would deprive yourself of all the good things that will happen later.

There are a lot of people on this forum wishing you well (in between taking the piss out of each other

) so don't despair; just join in the general fun.

Love, Richard x

View · by **BillShipton** » 31 Oct 2006, 11:10

As a fellow depression sufferer, I know what it is like. I also know that however much other people tell you to cheer up it makes no difference. Mine is born out of lack of self esteem so there is never any point in telling me to get happier for my own good, cos I never believe when I am depressed that 'my own good' has any importance. Instead, I get told by Hayley that I have to cheer up for the benefit of other people cos it's not fair on them! Bit of tough love, but sometimes it works.

Rest assured there are a lot of people who care about you on this forum. You may not have been here long but you are very much a part of it, and people love your contributions and by association you. The attitude may be flippant but it hides some genuinely caring people (DD is one).

Feel free to contact us either here or by PM any time it all gets too much.

Bill and Hayley

PS Your outfits are superb and all!

View · by **Phantom** » 08 Nov 2006, 10:24

Man, that is HARSH, Laura.

Depression is a horrible thing.

I used to suffer depression a lot - long bouts of it too. I still do these days, but thankfully in much smaller, shorter, easier-to-deal-with doses.

To me, depression always feels like being in a pit with very slippery sides - you know that you've got to climb out, but it's so difficult to get started.

One thing I always found helped was remembering back to a time when I'd previously felt very happy and content.

Since nothing ever lasts forever - no matter how good or how bad - then it's only logical that depression will eventually be replaced with happiness ... of course, that hapiness will eventually get replaced too. The trick is in knowing and accepting that both are inevitable, and both only temporary.

Good luck, Laura

Phantom

View · by **messylaura** » 08 Nov 2006, 20:04

yes
I'd say i have two types of depression, one i get these days alot where i suddenly fall into a depression and feel really down and worthless so much so i wonder whats the point,
the other is something that i'm quite scared of because its something i thought only happened after tragic events like when my gf was killed way back in 85 and a couple of other things like that along the way, that one i know at least know i am in a deep depression and feeling suicidal with it, but being such a vile deep and morbid place i cant pull myself out, even though i am consiously aware of it but i just get pulled in deeper

knowing this alowed me to help people with simalar feelings, doing that was great, it was only a few years ago that i was involved in my own termoils again thathas stopped me doing it,
now i cant help others because i cant trust myself to stay strong any more

as for looking back at happy events, all i see is the darkness of a tunnel both away from me and in front of me, it just feels so long since i was trully happy

for a long time i had been putting on a brave face on alot of forums i've been on, but it became too difficult to hide how i really felt since i came back
mostly reasons why i havent posted as much or the stuff i have posted hasn't been as high spirited.

what scares me alot is how much more i'm getting down and how much more worse its getting
i also know that i need to start getting back into things again,
some people have said my cries out in pain are attention seeking, well i guess they are to be honest, simply because my feelings are real and i havent anyone around now that i can reach out to,
i had made so good freinds on line unfortunatly some of then turned out to be mistrusts that let me fall deeper
basically i need a reset and a new start
only my way of attempting a reset was somewhat a close my eyes and hope for the worst / best.

i keep telling myself i will get out of it, i said that just before summer and thought it would give me the boost i needed to start over
it didnt really happen, yes i had some great times this summer but the overall feeling was low

i'm not sure where the boost or kick will comefrom this time around, i just fear i havent the energy left to have it come from me.

View · by **Phantom** » 08 Nov 2006, 21:13

When depression gets this bad there are no overnight solutions or magic words that can turn it around quickly.

I hope you'll find the strength though.

One small step at a time, Laura.

I think something that is very much in your favour is the fact that you acknowledge there is a problem - and although it's a tough one, there must be a solution. Every problem has a solution.

I don't know what to advise since I don't know you very well, and have only met you twice.

Start off, though, by sorting your problems into things which are within your control to change and things which are beyond your control for the moment. Then plan for ways to change the things you can ... and try not to stress over things that are beyond your control for now.

There's a whole lot to be said for positive thinking. Even in a bleak situation, a few positive thoughts can be enough to get you heading back on the right track.

Again - good luck with this.

Phantom

View · by **messylaura** » 08 Nov 2006, 21:31

unfortunatly i'm one of those people that doesnt do anything about problems like this, i dont know if i'm to scared to or what ever, i really dont want to end up reliant on drugs for

View · by **shredder** » 09 Nov 2006, 04:34

I also wish you peace. I have sometimes episodes of much milder depression than yours. As for doing something about it - you already have started. Talking to like minded people (wammers who understood depression) online was very useful for me. We really all do wish you well, and that is the most powerful thing we can do for you.

Pain

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