THE TRIAL
It has been said that my writings have had too much explicit sexual content so in order to test out this assertion I arranged a simple test. I would write a scenario and it would be played out in front of an invited audience as I did so.
It took a while to organise, but with the able assistance of some friends, it all fell into place and the invitations were sent out. On this, the appointed day, I am seated in a raised box with a substantial base and an impressive canopy, in full view of the audience. Rather than a typewriter or laptop, I am provided with a rather elderly keyboard upon which to type my story. There is no PC monitor for me to work on but my output is displayed on several large plasma screens around the room so that everyone can see what is written. The fleeting thought crossed my mind that the box rather resembles a... ......... But no, these are my friends; they wouldn’t do that to me.
Glancing round the large, well filled room, I recognise many of the luminaries of the WAM scene and several well known models. Hayley and Gilly Sampson are amid the contingent from Splosh with Bill Shipton. Miss T has brought several of the B2b messy girls, and I can also see Maddy, Sophie and Sammi-Jane. There are representatives from the WAM websites and bulletin boards, such as Leon & Lisa Moomin, Big Dave and Mike nomic. Everyone has been equipped with a press button device to indicate if they disapprove of any of the action. Their opinion is displayed on an electronic screen which shows the result as a percentage.
The actual scene is a simple ’restaurant’ set-up with two models sitting at a table, served by a male ’waiter’. The services of two very talented ladies have been obtained; Candy Custard and Fi Stevens, while the male character is to be played by ’Dirty Dids' the photographer. It is a scenario that has been used many times in the history of WAM and this trio could easily have improvised the action by themselves. But that is not the point; they are to follow the instructions as displayed on the screens.
Fi is dressed in a grey, two-piece business suit with a white blouse tied at the neck by a black ribbon, while Candy wears a pale lemon dress with a halter neck. Both wear stockings and smart shoes.
I begin to write: “Waiter brings two bowls of brown soup and places them in front of the customers.....” This was done, “........ the girls begin an argument about the pepper, leading to Fi pushing Candy’s face into the soup bowl.....” Fi puts her hand on the back of Candy’s head and Candy unhesitatingly dives, face first, into the brown liquid. As she comes back up she surreptitiously holds onto the bowl so that it deposits the remaining contents down the front of her dress. She clears her eyes to see, “.......Candy tips the other bowl into Fi’s lap.....” Fi obligingly leans back in her chair so that the soup hits her blouse just above the waist then pools briefly in her lap before soaking into the fabric of her skirt. She immediately leaps to her feet to show the effect to the appreciative audience while waiting for further instructions.
“........waiter clears away soup bowls and brings on a large tureen of Bolognese sauce and a bowl of spaghetti........” Done. He also sets plates in front of each girl and starts to distribute the spaghetti between them. ”........Fi knocks waiters arm as he ladles out the sauce causing it to spill down the front of her blouse.....” Between them, Dids and Fi make a superb pantomime of this, leaving her with a huge red stain on the front of her blouse. “........Fi retaliates........” Taking a handful of sauce, Fi smears it all over the front of his white shirt. “.......Candy laughs so Dids turns on her, tipping spaghetti down her cleavage followed by sauce.......” There is a slight frisson among the audience but the gauge remains well below 50%.
“..........While his back is turned toward her, Fi stuffs the back of waiter’s trousers with spaghetti, waiter turns angrily and tips remainder of sauce tureen contents over Fi’s head ........” All going well so far, the audience is even applauding!
“..........Waiter clears debris and reappears with sweets trolley laden with cakes and pies........” I’m warming to the task now and type faster:”........Fi selects large sloppy pie and instructs waiter to invert it onto Candy’s head,.....” he does so “...... then Candy gets up and gives Fi a pie sandwich, during which time waiter places cake on Candy’s chair. Candy sits on cake.......” What made me do it, I don’t know; perhaps some devil got into my fingers. “ .......waiter pours jug of custard down Candy’s cleavage then follows with his hands, massaging it into her breasts.....”
Pandemonium! A siren wails, red lights flash, the gauge shoots up to 80%, then the roof of my box opens and I am deluged with gunge. The floor disappears and my seat tilts, throwing me down into......Aaaaaggghhhhh!
What else can I yell but 'Guilty! ??