Pie Quiz Remixed

[Naughtynat]

The Pie Quiz Two

The scene is a TV studio in front of a live audience. The set is simple – a host desk, central to two podiums on either side of the stage. All of this is set at forty-five degrees to the audience seating. Above the host’s desk is a video screen mounted on the wall. Behind the main stage but on camera is a table, laden with a huge assortment of messy foods.

Bob Lucky, the show’s host walks on stage to sound of rapturous applause and the shows theme song.

“Hello, and welcome to another special edition of The Pie Quiz,” says Bob. “This weeks show is the Messy Movie-Star Special and boy do we have some special guests for you today.”

The crowd shows its obvious excitement before quieting down for Bob to introduce the guests.

“Let me introduce our first special guest for this weeks show. Best known for her role as Dana Scully on The X-Files, it’s Gillian Anderson!”

Gillian walks confidently on stage, wearing a pink, silk blouse with the top button undone, showing a slight amount of cleavage, and a pair of tight black, cotton trousers. Her hair, as always, is short and auburn. She takes her position on the left podium before Bob begins a brief questioning of the sultry X-Files star.

“Nice to see you Gillian,” says Bob. “Looking forward to the game I hope?”

“But of course Bob, I just hope my opponent brought a nice spare set of clothes with her,” is Gillian’s reply.

“Well I hope the both of you have, and let’s hope you serve us up a treat. Now without further ado, here’s our second guest. Lord of The Ring’s Arwen, it’s Liv Tyler.”

Liv enters, wearing a pair of white silk trousers, and a matching long-sleeved top which doesn’t quite cover her belly-button. Her hair is long, black and flows down her back. She takes the vacant podium on the right hand side of the stage.

“Hi live, great to have you on the show. Feeling lucky tonight?”

“Oh I always feel lucky Bob,” replies a bubbling Liv.

“I like the sound of that, has a nice ring to it,” says Bob.

“Now for the benefit of first-time viewers, here’s a quick rundown of the rules. The winner is the contestant who answers most questions correctly and therefore gaining the most points. To be asked a question, our contestants must make the most impressive messy bid in the eyes of our live audience. The winner of this vote then chooses the category and must answer a question thereon. If she gets it right, she gets a point and her opponent must carry out her bid. If she gets it wrong, nobody gets a point and the one being questioned must perform her own bid. Now if that’s all clear, let’s begin tonight’s show shall we ladies?”

“The categories are ‘at the movies,’ ‘who’s that,’ ‘Angelina Jolie,’ and ‘custard.’ Now if you’d like to make the first bid for tonight please Gillian,” Bob instructs her.

“Well Bob, I bid putting a big cream pie right in my face,” is Gillian’s response.

“Sounds like an easy one to start us off. Your response to that, Liv?”

“I think I’ll take a custard pie down the back of my panties,” replies the raven-haired Liv.

“Our contestants are obviously trying to ease themselves into this game,” says Bob. “…but it’s time to get one of them messy. Could the audience please vote now?”

Above Bob, the screen flickers into life to show the results - 52% for Gillian 48% for Liv.

“Ok Gillian, looks like you’re up first. What’ll it be?”

“I’ll go for ‘who’s that’ Bob,” she answers.

“Eyes on the screen the please, and tell us who this is.”

The screen changes once more, showing a picture of tall, tanned woman long, dyed strawberry-blonde hair. She is sat in what appears to be a gunge tank, red slime obscuring her facial features and coating most of her body. It’s clearly a TV show of some kind, but any clue as to which is removed from the image.

“Well if I’m not mistaken, that’s Mariah Carey on that charity event last week. I don’t remember the name though,” is Gillian’s answer.

“That doesn’t matter Gillian, you’re absolutely right. Mariah Carey it is, which means Liv – it’s time for you to carry out the first bid,” replies the balding host.

Liv steps up confidently to the table where the goodies lie. Without even the slightest look of regret on her face, she picks up a large, deep custard pie in one hand. With the other hand, she proceeds to pull the back of her trousers and panties away from her firm butt. She then turns to face the audience (and the camera’s) and slaps the pie solidly into place against her ass. After leaving it in place for a few seconds, she removes the tin which held the pie from her clothing, leaving the thick custard and pastry in her white, lace panties. She then saunters back to her position with just the hint of a coy smile on her face.

“A better start to the show than first expected this week it seems. Thank you very much for that, Liv. However, it’s time for the next bid. As the losing bidder from last round you get to go first Liv. Take it away.”

“Well Bob, I bid taking two more of those custard pies and placing one in each bra cup,” says Liv.

“A fantastic bid, what’ve you got to match it Gillian?”

“Well it seems we have a bit of a custard theme going on right now Bob. So I bid pouring that carton of it over there in my panties,” she replies.

“Another great bid, things are really heating up. Let’s see what the audience thinks, vote now please!”

“It’s another close one,” explains Bob. “…but Gillian gets it again; 51% to 49%. So what category will you take this time?”

“I think I’ll keep the custard theme going, I’ll take ‘custard’ please Bob.”

“In a recent advert by Ebonblade for Custard Products, which British celebrity gave a demonstration for the viewing audience?”

“Oh, erm… wasn’t it her from Big Brother? Davina McCall something?” is Gillian’s answer.

“I’m afraid not Gillian. Right ad firm, wrong advert. The answer was of course, Carol Smiley, as pictured here.”

The screen then cuts to a picture of the petite blonde holding a custard pie to each breast with a big grin on her face.

“Hard luck Gillian, but it’s time to get messy. Show us what you’ve got.”

Gillian looks rather more reluctant than Liv. Never the less, she steps up to the table with a brave face on and picks up a carton of custard, the end already snipped-off. She lifts it above her waistline and pulls the elastic of her panties slightly away from her tummy. She begins to tip the custard, visibly cringing at the thought of it hitting her. How did she ever get into this, she was a big star not so long ago. The first splat hits her sensitive skin and she just about manages not to squeal.

Thinking better of it, she decides to get this over and done with. She up-ends the whole carton and its contents flow out into her white satin panties. The little bit of them that is visible to the audience quickly turns yellow, and some of the custard spills out over the top. Once the carton is empty, she squelches her way back to the podium with a very unimpressed look on her face, clearly not enjoying the prospect of having this in her panties all night but there’s no choice now.

“That was superb Gillian,” comments Bob. “…but it’s time for the next round, so what’s your bid Liv?”

“I think I’ll stick with my last bid Bob - a pie in each bra cup – but this time I’ll squirt a whole can of whipped cream on top.”

“Fantastic bid again from Liv. You’re response Gillian?” Bob asks.

Gillian looks as if she’s in a daze from the custard, but manages to respond: “I’ll take that bowl of angel delight and put it over my head.”
“I’m not sure if that’ll cut it,” says Bob, “but let’s see what the audience has to say. Vote now please.”

A quick glance at the screen shows a 60% for Liv, meaning she finally gets to answer a question and bring the score back to one each. Gillian seems to be in a daze still but Liv almost looks as though she’s enjoying herself.

“So it’s finally your chance Liv, what’s it to be?” Bob enquires.

“At the movies for me please Bob.”

“Eyes on the screen please Liv. We have a clip of an upcoming movie release for you, all you have to do is name the film. Good luck.”

The screen changes once more, and on it appears the attractive figure of actress, Jennifer Anniston. She’s wearing a pair of tight, blue jeans and an equally tight, white t-shirt and sitting on a leather cowch. As the action starts, Lisa Kudrow comes on-screen with a half-dozen box of eggs. Sneaking up behind Jennifer, she breaks one over her head before the clip ends.

“That’s an easy one Bob,” says Liv. “It’s the ‘Friends’ movie.”

“Absolutely correct Liv – that makes the scores one each. Now Gillian, it’s time for your forfeit. If you’d be so kind…”

Gillian once again steps over to the now infamous table, almost waddling in her attempt to avoid too much custard movement. She is obviously not enjoying this, but the night is nowhere near over yet. She reluctantly picks up the bowl of lurid-pink, strawberry angel delight and lifts it above her head. She overturns the bowl and the pudding comes out in one huge splat, right on the top of her head. Some of it slowly glides down her hair, congregating round her shoulders. Some goes down Gillian’s back and makes her shiver slightly and still more goes down her blouse, stopping only because of her impressive cleavage. For the most part though, it stays put - right on the top of her head in a solid, pink, gooey mass.

“Good stuff Gillian, doesn’t look like you enjoyed it though. However, it’s one-one and time for the fourth round and a chance for your revenge. Can I have your bid first please Gillian?”

A somewhat uncomfortable looking Gillian Anderson replies rather dozily, “I’ll put that bowl of jelly in my bra.”

“Obviously trying to get back in the ascendancy I see. What’s your reply to that Liv?”

“Why change a winning formula Bob? I’m going to go with the pies with cream in my bra from last round,” replies Liv.

“Well let’s see what the audience think,” says Bob as the audience begins its fourth vote of the evening. After a few moments, the screen becomes centre of attention once more.

“The audience really want to see those pies,” says Bob when the screen shows 54% for Liv. “So let’s see if you’re going to disappoint them again, what’s your category please Liv?”

“I’ll take Angelina Jolie please Bob.”

“Ok, here it is. What is the name of the game which the film Tomb Raider was based on?”

“Oh God, I don’t know anything about games. Erm… was it Lara Croft or something?”

“I hate to tell you this,” says Bob guiltily, “but it was a trick question. The real answer was ‘Tomb Raider’, the same as the film. You know what you have to do.”

Liv nods with mock sadness and walks over to ‘that’ table. First, she takes a can of whipped cream and removes the lid. She squirts a huge pile of cream on one pie, before creating an equally large mound of cream on the second pie. Finally, she picks up a pie in her right hand and pulls her top away from her small, but impressive chest. After giving the audience a glance, she places the pie firmly into place in her left bra cup. Cream and custard squirts everywhere, hitting Liv in the face and oozing over her flat tummy as well. The custard stains her silk blouse, yellow clearly visible on the white clothing. She giggles slight before picking up the next pie and slamming it firmly into place in her other bra cup. This has a similar effect and her breasts are completely coated in thick custard and cool whipped cream. Liv picks up some of the custard on her finger and licks it clean before removing the pie cases and returning to her pedestal: Custard and cream oozing around her cleavage.

“Amazing Liv, simply amazing,” says Bob, obviously struggling to keep concentration on the task of presenting a show.

“Time for another bid please Gillian, what’ll it be?”

Gillian, seemingly recovered now replied, “Jelly and ice-cream bob, down my top.”

“Fantastic bid Gillian. What have you got to counter that Liv?”

“I bid pouring that tin of rice pudding down my panties.”

“Let’s see what the audience thinks of that. Could you all vote now please?”

After a couple of seconds, the screen shows us the results. It’s another close one, but Gillian wins with 52%. She looks un-sure of whether this is a good thing or not.

“Looks like you take this one,” says the host. “Can you select a category for us Gil?”

“I’ll go for ‘who’s that’ I think.”

“Ok, eyes on the screen and tell us who this is…”
The screen changes to show a golden-skinned, firm ass, covered only by a pair of tight, yellow briefs, about to be victim to a large cream pie wavering very close to its target. Almost everything but the ass and a bit of leg are obscured from view.

“Hmm, it’s either Jennifer Lopez or maybe Beyoncé”

“Our guest last time, but I’ll have to push you for an answer Gillian,” Bob replies.

“I’ll go for Beyoncé then Bob.”

“Oh I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer,” Bob says, as the screen begins to move. The pie strikes the ass as the camera begins to pan out slightly. Cream spurts all over the peachy bum and through her legs. The camera pans out some more and reveals a very surprised looking face of Jennifer Lopez apparently on the set of one of her videos.

“You know what to do Gillian.”

Gillian sighs resignedly and still trying not to let custard drip down her legs, she waddles over to the table and picks up a plate of jelly. With a disgusted look on her face, she opens up her top and allows the jelly to flop off the plate, landing with a particularly satisfying splat on her noticeable breasts. It stays there for a second before falling further down the inside of her blouse to mingle with the angel delight trapped around where the blouse is tucked-in. Next, she picks up a bowl of half melted, vanilla ice-cream. She eyes it up reluctantly and holds the top of her silk blouse open again. Closing her eyes, she pours the liquid-y ice-cream down her top. She just about manages not to scream, but her facial expression is as priceless as can be expected in the situation. It pours all over her breasts and down her tummy, forcing her to shiver. Looking ever-so-sexy, she walks like a zombie back to her position, trying to avoid any further flow of the cold, cold ice-cream.

“Very coolly done there Gillian,” jokes Bob. “You get to bid first this round though, and maybe we can get a second point for someone. What do you bid?”

Gillian, not quite able to fathom what’s happened thus far takes a second or two to realise the question was aimed at her. ‘Nothing cold from now on’ she decided in her head.

“I’ll pull my trousers down and sit on that big cake over there Bob.”

“Ok, and can I have your bid please Liv?”

“I bid breaking a dozen eggs in my bra,” replies Liv with a suggestive smirk on her face.

“It seems like that bra of yours might be getting a bit crowded but a great bid. Let’s see what the audience has to say.”

“Another close one,” he adds. “But Liv has it again, so what category do you choose this time?”
“I think I’ll go with movies.”

“Ok,” says Bob. “Here’s another clip from a movie which will be released later this year. Again, we want you to tell us which one we’re showing you here.”

Once again, the screen becomes the centre of attention. The scene shown is what appears to be the backstage area at a gig. A bunch of hairy Nordic-looking men are waiting behind a changing room door, armed with a bottle each of Champagne. The view changes to show Finnish metal singer, Tarja Turunen (http://www.tarjaturunen.com/), walking down the corridor: obviously about to walk into the same changing room. The screen freezes.

“I have absolutely no idea who that is Bob. That’s really from a movie?”

“I’m afraid so. If you have no idea, would you like to hazard a guess Liv?”

“Erm… I really don’t know. Could it be that Metallica movie?”

“Sorry. It’s the upcoming Nightwish movie, Stargazers. It’s time for you forfeit, if you’d be so kind,” says Bob, smiling like a pro.

The screen starts-up again and shows Tarja open the door, only to be met by a torrent of fizzy Champagne from the bottles in the hands of her fellow band-members. She’s drenched to the bone, her clothes clinging to her body.

Liv moves confidently over to the table once more. Eyeing a box of a dozen eggs, she begins to play to the audience slightly. After showboating, she eventually picks up the box and takes out two eggs. Without hesitation, she breaks one into each bra-cup. The yolk runs over her breasts and settles in her bra alongside the custard and whipped cream. Smiling, she takes out another two and does exactly the same thing. By the time she takes out the next couple, her bra is starting to fill up. The yolks from these two eggs are too much and a little yellow liquid oozes over the top of her bra and down the inside of her blouse. After this she gives up trying to keep the yolk in her bra. She cracks the next six eggs on her breast bone and lets the egg slither down her yolk-covered chest. Her once white blouse has now become yellow and somewhat opaque. As she walks back to her position, it sags around her tummy as the egg and custard moves around.

“Superb!” says Bob, trying to stay calm and collected. “Can we have your bid for the final round please Liv?”

“Well, I’ve always been a bit of traditionalist Bob, so I’ll let Gillian pour whatever she wants into my panties!”

“Ahem, a great bid. What have you got to counter that with Gillian?”

By now Gillian was past caring and it showed in her next bid: “I’ll let Liv do whatever she wants to me for a whole minute,” was her reply. Bob was looking decidedly hot under the collar.

“Before we vote this time, I should point out the rules of a draw. If this should happen, the winner of the last vote wins the game and their film trailer will be shown,” states Bob. “Their opponent, of course, will be sent to the showers. Now then, time to vote ladies and gentlemen.”

After a few moments, the screen flickered into action for the final time. Gillian won with a huge margin of 70% to 30% but was she going to regret that bid? Either way, she had definitely won the show now.

“An impressive result Gillian, but can you compound your opponents defeat? What category is it to be?”

“I’ll take Angelina Jolie please.”

“To win the game, two to one, I need you to tell me what happens next.”

On the screen, a still image of everyone’s favourite raider of tombs appears, holding onto a vine in some unknown jungle scenery. Seemingly, it is an image from a Tomb Raider movie or something similar.

“Something behind her explodes and sends her flying forwards?” Gillian enquires, unsurely.

“I’m afraid you’re going to regret making such a great bid Gil, let’s see what really happened…”

As the screen moves, Angelina swings forwards on the vine. After a few seconds, she allows herself to drop from it, landing in a slimy looking swamp below and getting completely soaked through with the sticky water within.

Gillian looks shocked: she knows exactly what’s coming next. Resigned to her fate, she walks over to the table and awaits her forfeit. Sure enough, Liv follows her over to the table with big grin on her face. The big screen changes to show a sixty-second timer which begins to count down when Liv picks up her first can of whipped cream.

Liv takes the can and sprays it right in Gillian’s face from about two inches away. Her face is completely covered in fluffy white cream for a few seconds before the majority of it flops down onto the floor or her boobs. The timer is showing forty-five when Liv picks up two tins of rice-pudding and peels Gil’s shirt away from her body. She then precedes to up-end both cans over Gillian’s impressive-looking breasts. The thick, lumpy mass slowly oozes over her chest, over he breasts (some pooling in her bra) and down over her stomach. There it stays with the other substances already in place. For now…

With twenty-five seconds left, Liv strips the blouse off Gillian’s back. Speechless, Gillian just stands there with a stunned look on her face. Bob almost faints as the ice-cream, jelly, angel delight and rice pudding blobs onto the floor around her feet. Liv then picks up a bowl of pre-cracked eggs and tips it inside Gillian’s newly exposed bra. It’s an awesome sight to behold – the sultry X-Files star standing next-to-topless, her breasts coated in, amongst other things, a large amount of egg yolk, some of which is slowly making its way down her front.

Ten seconds left and time for a finalé of some kind. Liv takes two huge white chocolate gateau’s, one in each hand. She then plants one firmly into Gillian’s face and other, simultaneously down the back of her trousers, on her fine ass. Just as they hit, a buzzer sounds, signalling the end of sixty seconds of hell for Gillian.
“…Oh, am I on? Fantastic! Just fantastic!” says Bob looking redder than ever and wiping his bald head with a handkerchief. “Gillian wins the show and our audience’s hearts. Before we show the trailer for her latest film, X-Files two, it’s time for Liv’s losing forfeit.”

Slowly, Liv walks towards a newly revealed cubicle behind the set as it slides away. She enthusiastically steps into the cubicle and sits on the seat inside. The entire cubicle then rises about twelve feet above the stage, revealing a large dunk-tank filled with thick-looking red gunge.

“Well all that remains is for me to thank Liv for being such a brave loser,” says Bob to the camera. “You all set in their Liv?”

“Lay it on me Bob,” she replies.

Almost instantly, eight showerheads pop-out and being to spray our loser with thick, orange gunge. Another ten seconds later, the floor gives-way and Liv drops into the tank below. She resurfaces a moment later, looking great, covered from head-to-toe in thick red and orange gunge.

“That’s it for this week guys but there is the small matter of the Pie Quiz Pie for our winner,” states Bob. As the screen flickers into life for one last time, showing a trailer for The X-Files Two, he hands Gillian a thick cream-pie with ‘The Pie Quiz’ written on it in finest icing. She plants this into her face for the final shot before the camera’s switch off.

FIN.