For the past few days, Hayley has been wanted by the police in connection with the murder of her ex-lesbian lover on Mulholland Drive. She has been hiding out in a motel, waiting for the oppurtunity to escape L.A. forever. Suddenly, her friend comes up with a great way for her to escape...great for those reading this, terrible for poor Hayley. A slurry truck. A truck carrying a tank of cow manure slurry, which she must wallow in for several days before she makes it out of California. So they take her to the truck, open the hatch, and in a bikini (covering her nose and mouth in disgust), she squelches doen into the thick, steaming slurry, a nauseated expression on her face. When the slurry is up to her chin, she reaches the bottom and grabs a handle at the side of the tank. Then her supplies (food, clothing for after, a snorkel, oxygen) are dropped down into the thick, squishy, black slurry, causing it to splash onto her face. Wretching and spitting out a chunk of shit...
HAYLEY
You stupid bastards! Ugh...I got it in my mouth!! And the supplies...they're in the slurry you stupid bastards!!!
At hearing her ungrateful vitriol they close the hatch and leave her on her own. She screams after them, but after a few minutes this attracts some unwanted attention, in the form of two workers, who start to open the hatch. In a panic, she rolls her eyes back and tightly shutting her mouth submerges into the dung. The hatch opens and the two workers peer in...
WORKER 1
Anything?
WORKER 2
God what a stink...and...
WORKER 1
It's not so bad as it was before though...must have rotted a little more...let's go...
They close the hatch, and as they do so, the slurry bubbles, and Hayley emerges, barely recognisable under the thick black muck. Coughing and spluttering, and wiping her lips on the side of the tank to remove the shit, she suddenly realises she must retrieve the supplies from the bottom of the tank -
HAYLEY (crying)
Why me, why me, oh God, why me!!!
Shutting her mouth tightly again, she dives into the dung. After a few minutes, she emerges with the supplies. Opens the case...inside there are bananas, a tank of oxygen and some matches...matches...
...before leaving CA, the drivers decide to stop off at a farm show for the day. Hayley, under the impression she is out of CA, decides to try and escape the tank. Unable to see her way to the hatch, she lights a match - BOOM!!!!!
The tank explodes, black shit flying everywhere, splattering on everyone, including some girls in bikinis. The police arrive, and scouring the mess find a mess-covered Hayley lying face down in a giant puddle of the black steaming muck.
POLICE OFFICER (kicking her incessantly)
Get up! Get up you stupid bitch!!
As the police officer kicks her and beats her with a baton, a news crew arrives, and starts filming the scene. They eventually lift her up with a hook, and she faces the camera directly...
FEMALE REPORTER
Hayley, how do you feel to have lost your dignity?
She vomits liquid shit all over the reporter...
POLICE OFFICER
Hayley, you're under arrest for the murder of actress Betty Elms...do you have anything to say?
HAYLEY
I wish Betty was with me now...wallowing in the shit with me...