Is Slapstick Funny?

[Slapstickman]

Been a while since I (or indeed anyone) has posted a story here, so hope you all enjoy this. Cheers, Matt................

Louisa had always wanted to be on Television, so when her agent called about the possibility of her appearing on a new live Friday night post pub TV show ‘The Late Escape’ she was delighted.

“They want you to go and do a screen test for them” her agent cheerfully reported.

Louisa went for the screen test and met Jo, the producer. She had to say a few words, but mostly they seemed concerned with how she looked and Louisa had made sure she was looking good. She’d spent a fortune in the hairdressers, getting her long brown hair styled to perfection and she’d blown a couple of hundred pounds on a designer outfit. Her gym sessions had finally paid off she thought as she looked in the mirror in her makeshift dressing room.

The screen test had appeared to go well, but Louisa knew through experience that this didn’t necessarily mean she’d been successful.

It was a great surprise therefore when Jo phoned to say she’d like Louisa to appear in the first show. Louisa was thrilled and delighted – her screams nearly deafened Jo over the phone.

Louisa was to appear on a segment called ‘The Great Debate’. Apparently she was to debate a subject live on air with another member of the cast. The segment was to be chaired by Hannah, one of the show’s main presenters and would last approximately 10 minutes. If Louisa went down well with the audience there was a strong possibility she’d be invited back for the second show.

“This is my big break” Louisa squealed, excitedly.

Louisa was called into the studio to rehearse her debate arguments a couple of days before the show was due to go live. The topic was “Is Slapstick funny?” and Louisa was to argue no, slapstick was not funny. She ran through her arguments on camera and Jo seemed happy that everything was in place.

“See you at 8 on Friday evening” she smiled at Louisa

“Definitely” Louisa beamed back “I’m looking forward to it so much”.


Friday soon came around and Louisa arrived on the set of “The Late Escape”. There was a band that Louisa recognised, but whose name she couldn’t place, doing a sound check and some of the other segments of the show were rehearsing. Louisa’s debate was going to be one of the last features, so she was one of the last to arrive. Jo’s assistant met her on arrival and took her to wardrobe to choose an outfit for the show.
They eventually decided on an elegant, but sexy white dress with a low neckline that showed plenty of cleavage and leg. Louisa looked amazing.

She was given a dressing room to share with a couple of the other minor female guests and had her make-up done professionally for the show. While she waited to be called for her segment, Louisa lapped up the atmosphere and talked to as many people as she could.

Hannah, the host of Louisa’s segment came to introduce herself a few minutes before the show was due to start. She looked stunning, Louisa thought. Her long blonde hair was immaculate and her pretty face and perfect teeth lit up the room.

“It’s good to meet you” Hannah smiled “looking forward to doing the debate with you later”

“Me too” Louisa enthused “it sounds really interesting”

“It should be a wild end to the show” Hannah said.

Louisa was a little unsure how a debate about slapstick could be wild, but she imagined it was just showbiz talk so she enthusiastically agreed.

“Well, I should go and get ready” Hannah smiled “I’m doing the first sketch in a few minutes. See you out there”

“Yes, see you” Louisa beamed back “break a leg”.

The show was due to start at 11pm, so everyone was in place by then. Louisa couldn’t see how things were going from backstage, but occasionally could hear laughter from the audience and music from the band. Her sketch was scheduled for 11.46, just after the last commercials and before the band played the show out. She could do nothing but wait nervously for her big break.

After what seemed like an age, Louisa was called. She was led over to a small set in the corner of the studio. Hannah, looking gorgeous in a designer black dress soon joined her, as did her opponent in the debate, Olly - also a minor cast member, who was dressed as a clown. Louisa thought Olly looked pretty good looking under all his make-up and silly wig.

There were 3 chairs lined up, one for each of them and they sat down with Hannah in the centre. The director told all 3 of them to keep facing forwards, ready for their cues. Louisa did as she was told, so didn’t see the stagehands wheel in trolleys filled with custard pies and buckets of slosh and line them up behind Hannah.

After a minute or so, the director announced they were going live and counted in to Hannah’s introduction.

“Good evening” Hannah smiled professionally “and welcome to the Great debate”. There was a slight pause “Custard Pies, Clowns, Banana skins and pratfalls” she continued “were once the staple of popular entertainment. But as our entertainment choices have diversified and our sense of humour has developed, is there still room for Slapstick? And is it still funny? My guests have differing views”.

The cameras panned over to Louisa. “My first guest is journalist Louisa McQueen. She believes this kind of entertainment belongs in the past and should stay there. My second guest Olly Burnett or Chuckie the Clown as he’s known in entertainment circles, has other ideas. He makes his living as a professional clown and he says slapstick comedy is very much alive in the 21st Century”.

“So Louisa, surely this is all harmless fun, what do you have against this kind of knockabout comedy?”

Louisa smiled into the camera “Well Hannah, it’s not that I have anything against Slapstick humour per se, it’s just that well it all seems a little dated. It was funny and original in the days of silent comedies, but it’s all been done now and our sense of humour has moved on to more sophisticated forms of comedy. Can anyone here honestly say they are amused by someone slipping on a banana skin, however well it’s done? Can anyone truthfully say they find custard pies in the face funny?”

“So Olly” Hannah returned “Slapstick just isn’t funny anymore, pies in the face aren’t funny. How do you respond to that?”

Olly got up from his chair. At first Louisa thought her arguments had provoked him into storming out of the debate; she didn’t quite know what to do, so she faced forward and smiled into the camera. Olly, however, was in the process of picking a custard pie from the trolleys. He carried the pie over to Louisa and the camera panned back to her smiling face. Before Louisa realised what was happening, Olly pushed the pie straight into her face.

“Oh my god” Louisa squealed as the pie made contact with her face. The pie had a thick sponge base that slipped down Louisa’s front depositing pie filling all down her cleavage and over her breasts as well as covering her face in thick yellow custard. The audience roared with laughter as Louisa wiped her eyes and flicked the yellow mess from her fingers.

“That’s a very good point” Hannah deadpanned “Louisa that got a pretty good laugh from our audience did it not?”

Louisa knew she was being set up, but wasn’t about to blow her big chance. If she stormed off set now, her screen time would come to an abrupt end and it was unlikely she’d be asked back. A lot of actresses and personalities she admired had done physical comedy before. This was live television and she knew she had to continue, whatever was thrown at her – literally! (to be continued.............)