Soup-a-Friend - f/f - Gameshow

[whiteunicorn]

‘Hello, Hello. Thank you. Thank you. Days Dawning and Wotcher. Do we have a Garden for you. As two lucky birds will play for a ton of Bees and....a Grand Shoe.’ The bubbly blonde who had skipped out onto the set faltered a little at the sea of utterly deadpan and more than a little baffled faces staring up at her from the assembled audience. ‘Now..I said this would be a bad idea. Why just because we have taken our little show across the pond to England means I have to talk like this I don’t know. Let’s start again.’

Clara tried not to say that with a huff and instead settled for flicking a lock of her elegantly styled blonde hair off the shoulder left bare by the strapless black dress she wore. Of course this had been one of Josh’s hair-brained ideas. One she had said wouldn’t work. But did he listen, no. The dress had been his idea too. Not that it wasn’t a gorgeous dress; it was just she felt it was a little over the top. What was wrong with one of her usual stylish but casual outfits. Nothing. Yet somehow he seemed to think just because they were in another country they had to push the envelope.

‘Good morning. Welcome to our show. And do we have a show for you. Because as well as walking away with some easy money one lucky pair of ladies might just win our grand prize. And all expenses paid luxury holiday to the country of their choice.’

This, much to Clara’s relief, was met with the response she usually got, a resounding chorus of cheers and applause. One that eased her dispirited heart no end. ‘But no one wants to hear me just talking about it. So let’s get our first couple out here.’

——————————

‘Man. I hate waiting.’ Lucinda grumbled. ‘Why couldn’t we have gone first?’

‘You never want to go first in these things.’ Melinda said with projected confidence. More confidence than she actually felt right now. Funny, for the one who had actually struggled to convince herself to come along, it seemed she was the one feeling the most nervous. ‘They don’t want someone winning the Grand Prize first time out. So they are bound to make it harder at the start.’

Despite the confidence with which she spoke those words, Melinda was actually working under a false assumption. That there was only one Grand Prize to be won. In truth, anyone who played could win it. Even if the previous pair had as well. Which was a pretty big misunderstanding of how this show worked. But certainly not her last. As she and her best friend, oldest friend really, would soon discover.

‘Oh..yeah. That makes sense.’ Lucinda shrugged casually. ‘I don’t really care if we win. I’m here for the experience. How often to you get to be on television?’

‘Pretty much every week.’ Melinda replies with a grin. Her blossoming career as a model provided a slow but steady stream of advertising work; meaning she was often catching a repeat of an advert she appeared in.

‘Well..true. But not like this.’ Lucinda replied.

‘No. Not like this.’ Melinda agreed; her worries that had been momentarily forgotten returning full force. Now her thoughts suddenly mirrored her friend’s. Maybe it would have been better to go first. Apparently she hated waiting too.

——————

‘Ohhh dear. A nice try ladies.’ Clara said with genuine sympathy as the two young women both sporting brightly dyed hair, admittedly one of which was now a very different colour, made their way offstage with good grace. Maybe our next pair can do better. Give a big hand for Lucinda and Melinda.’

On cue a spotlight swung to the left side of the stage to catch the two figures that emerged into view. At first glance a lot of people assumed Lucinda and Melinda to be sisters, both down to appearance and the similarity of their names. While not identical or anything, the similarity between them was striking. Same raven black hair. Same height. Same general build or what Lucinda liked to call curvitude, usually while playfully shaking her hips. It was only when people took a closer look that the differences became apparent.

Where Lucinda’s eyes were deep green, Melinda’s were a bright blue. Where Melinda sported a slender toned physique, Lucinda was a little more muscled due to her more active workouts. While Melinda preferred the slower pace of Yoga, Lucinda was much happier tearing around a field or court in her usual energetic style. She had yet to find a sport she didn’t love.

‘So...Melinda.’ Clara began by way of an ice breaker. It wasn’t uncommon for people to get a bit discomforted by the audience and the lights and she tried her best to help with that. ‘It was you that convinced Lucinda to come with you today. So you must feel you two have a fighting chance.’

‘Oh yeah.’ Melinda nodded, actually feeling more in her element here. She was no stranger to cameras after all. ‘We are best buds. The best. And that’s what this is all about right? You know..Super Friends. It’s in the name.’

‘Ummm..yes.’ Clara said slowly, Melinda not missing the shift in her expression; an expression of someone about to deliver some..unexpected news. ‘Actually..that’s not the show. Not it’s name. It’s called..Soup-a-Friend and..look, why don’t I show you. Lights please.’

Thrown by the glare of the spotlight, neither girl had noticed that the rest of the stage was cloaked in darkness; darkness that the slowly rising lights threw back to reveal the strangest sight they had ever seen.

It wasn’t just the two chairs each placed in a four sided clear plastic box. It wasn’t even the two huge metal drums mocked up to look like soup cans; the painted smooth metal hastily resprayed to what Clara was assured was a popular British brand. It was that the right most chair, and a good portion of the floor around it, was covered in a pool of a vibrant red liquid.

‘Soup-a-Friend.’ Lucinda shot her friend a quick glance that seemed to ask ‘what have you gotten us into.’ ‘As in..kinda literally.’

‘Pretty much.’ Clara nodded. ‘Here is how it works. We have ten questions for you. For each one you must say true or false. As long as one of you gives the right answer, you add some money to your prize pot. But if one of you gets it wrong..well..the other one gets...’

‘...covered in soup?’ Lucinda finished with an almost amused chuckle. ‘Sounds like fun.’

‘It could be you that gets covered.’ Clara pointed out.

‘That’s what sounds like fun.’ Lucinda grinned. True it might be enjoyable to watch Melinda get it as well. But the whole idea sounded like a real laugh. ‘Let’s do it.’

‘Fine by me.’ Melinda grinned back. ‘But I’m not paying to clean your dress.’

That was a point. Lucinda considered. While Melinda had come dressed kinda casually in a blue tank top that matched her jeans and complimented her black trainers; Lucinda was dolled up to the nines in a high backed white dress sweeping down to a mini dress that barely reached her knees; completed with a matching pair of high heels. It was likely to get ruined but it was hardly her favourite. So what the heck. ‘Ahh so what..let’s do this.’

‘Alright.’ Clara didn’t miss the fresh round of applause from the audience who clearly appreciated them being such good sports. ‘This way please. Melinda. You sit there.’

Even as she did as she was bade and she was sealed inside the chamber with a click of the lock, it hadn’t escaped Melinda’s attention that she was sitting under the chicken soup can; no doubt purposely. And she was correct. That was very much Clara’s plan. Unless she got all her questions right, which was unlikely, Lucinda’s white dress would be the perfect contrast to the bright red soup soon to be above her.

‘Melinda..you are okay there.’ Clara didn’t so much ask as state. ‘Lucinda..better give me your shoes. It’s a bit slippery here and I’d hate for you to fall and ruin your dress.’

The audience chuckled at that, a ripple of laughter that Lucinda joined in with. She was sure her dress wasn’t going to be spared but she bent to unbuckle her shoes anyway, passed them to Clara before padding barefoot towards the waiting chair. Not even bothering to wipe it clean she placed herself down in it; legs crossed with casual confidence. Not seeming to care that she too was similarly confined as her chamber clicked shut.

‘Alright here is your first question.’ Clara said as moved to stand between the two plastic chambers; which were separated by a good four feet; a space filled by a somewhat gaudy scale edged by alternatively flashing lights which surrounded a series of unlit markers that displayed various amounts of cash. While Lucinda stayed cool as a cucumber, Melinda squirmed a little in her chair; but from nerves or excitement she couldn’t tell. In truth it was both. While she was nervous about what awaited her, chicken soup didn’t sound so bad. Certainly the thin watery soup would be nowhere near as bad as the thick red gloop Lucinda was destined for. Or was destined for her.

‘Wimbledon was first held in 1877.’ Clara asked casually, as if she was unaware of the thoughts running through Melinda’s head. In truth she wasn’t. She’d been doing this show for years after all and had pretty much seen the whole spectrum of the consequence of this game. And these two were hardly the first to have been surprised by that little detail. True, mostly they were people plucked unsuspectingly from the audience rather than applied in blissful ignorance. But the result was the same.

She could see the telltale ripple of conflicting emotion, worried for herself and intrigued about seeing it happen to someone else. Those two states battling within her before and even as she decided on her answer.

‘True.’ Melinda said quickly, almost at the same time as her friend gave the same reply; her voice muffled by the plastic surrounding them both but not blocked entirely.

‘Correct.’ Clara said as the gauge between the chambers flashed up £100. ‘Hotmail is owned by Google.’

‘False.’ This time it was Lucinda who got the answer out a second before her friend repeated it.

‘Correct.’ Clara replied as the total jumped to £200. Lucinda looked pleased, likely with both of their performance rather than just her own given how good friends they were.

‘Mercury’s chemical symbol is Hg.’

Melinda paused here, acutely aware of her friend doing the same. Science wasn’t exactly a strong point for either of them and they had hoped to squeak by the few they might be asked. That was before the risk of well...Melinda glanced above her almost in tandem with Lucinda. They were both thinking the same thing. A wrong guess here could mean at least one of them was in for an interesting moment. Maybe both.

‘True.’ Melinda’s heart sank as she heard her friend say the opposite. There was no way both of them could be right. She just had to hope it wasn’t her. She really didn’t want to go first.

‘It is...true.’ Clara said with a grin as Melinda sat bolt upright with a squeak, suddenly hyper aware she had nowhere to go. And she didn’t as she felt a gush of something thick and creamy. Much thicker and creamier than she had expected, heavy and sticky against her skin. For as it turned out her can wasn’t chicken soup but cream of chicken; the off white mass covering her hair in an instant. At least it was warm she mused; feeling the soup rolling over her head to drip from her chin. Making it more bizarre than unpleasant.

Still she could take some consolation that she had at least banked them some more cash even if her friend, whose soft laughter reached had her ears, had made her pay for it. £600 pounds almost made it a small price to pay. Almost.

‘Jim Morrison was buried in Paris.’ Clara continued as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Which for her it hadn’t. Ordinary was what you made it.

Melinda was relived to know this one, that little factoid having lodged in her brain that she had no hesitation in answering. ‘True.’

That relief lasted all of a second as Lucinda gave her answer. ‘False.’

‘It’s true. Sorry Melinda.’

Melinda had a feeling she wasn’t exactly that sorry as she braced herself for what she knew was coming. Which did little against the fiercer gush that mixed rapidly with the thick soup that had just begun to creep over her shirt. It seemed they had gone easier on her last time, barely a trickle in comparison to what she was being showered with now. Her shirt was glued to her skin by the time it stopped, her hair equally messed up. With a sigh Melinda scraped her eyes clean, seeing no point in doing much more, just in time to see Lucinda give her an apologetic smile even as she nodded at the gauge which Melinda could just about see has leapt up to £1000.

‘Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee’s most viewed video on YouTube is Despacito.’ Clara paused to await their response.

Melinda had genuinely no idea. She had no idea who those two artists were but they didn’t sound like her kind of music at all. So she just punted for a guess. ‘False.’

‘True.’ Again it seemed that Lucinda had punted the other way, leaving Melinda fearing she was facing another souping. So you could imagine her delight when Clara announced it was true. Which was maybe an odd thing to feel but feel it she did.

Melinda spun on her chair just in time to see Lucinda take a huge creamy red splash. Like hers this first splatter wasn’t very long but already her dress was ruined, the slick soup not slowed down in the slightest by her hair as it was drawn to her bodice and back alike.

‘Well..I think Melinda enjoyed seeing that.’ Clara said with a chuckle. ‘Almost as much as she will enjoy the £1400 they now have banked.’

Melinda did like that, relieved that Clara had let them know because with the thick soup still splattered against the walls of the chamber it was very hard to see out.

‘Delaware was America’s first state.’ Clara grinned, knowing it would be unlikely that either girl would notice. This was one of the more fiendish questions she insisted be added to the list; one that hardly anyone got right.

‘False?’ Melinda more asked than said, hearing the similarly hesitant response from the tank beside her. Whatever happened this time it would happen to both of them. Lucinda had worked that out too; her eyes darting from her friend to the top of the tank and then back again.

‘It’s true.’ Clara said, not even bothering to keep a straight face. She, like everyone here, knew what was going to happen. It was just a question of who first.

And that included Lucinda who had been thinking the same thing. She had just hoped it wouldn’t be her. But it was; her dress now utterly destroyed as more red soup poured around her, spreading out as wide as her shoulders and covering all of her head. She wasn’t just stained red, she was dripping in it. Something Melinda did manage to find hilarious, despite knowing that very likely awaited her.

She was right. Almost instantaneously she was slathered in the near white soup, squirming softly as the creamy mess was flung onto her jean clad thighs and reached down to her hips. Thick though the cloth was she could still feel it hanging on her curves. And could most definitely feel it running over her torso and arms.

Different colours aside, Melinda and Lucinda looked identically messy, both as drenched in cloying soup as the other. Which, odd as it felt, seemed fair in a strange way.

‘Columbia is the country that produces the most coffee.’

‘True.’ Melinda jumped in quickly, sure that she knew this one. Columbian coffee was her favourite after all.

Lucinda however wasn’t so sure, flicking back and forth from one answer to the other before she finally made her choice. ‘False.’

‘It’s false.’ Clara said without a hint regret about what that meant. Lucinda did too but that didn’t stop her being caught off guard. Not that she had been trying to protect herself but even if she had it would have been pointless; leaving her softly squirming as an almost ridiculous amount of soup poured both around and over her; some of it flung out to bounce back from the walls to coat her some more. The only part of her that wasn’t drenched was her feet, and if the heavy splattering had continued much longer she wouldn’t have even been spared that.
Still she was somewhat reassured to hear they had now netted a cool £1600.

‘In the comedy series “Friends” Chandler goes by the surname Bing.’
Lucinda takes a wild guess and laughs nervously as Melinda says true. She is sure she’s going to get messy again. She was right. She had a feeling she would get it worse than Lucinda. Something in Clara’s eyes; as much as she could see them. Or it was just a horribly accurate guess. Either way she was right. Like Lucinda before her she was utterly encompassed by the deluge. It rolled and flowed all over her, thick soup filling the tank almost entirely. For a few seconds she was practically sitting in a column of it. She was a beige blob of thick goo by the time it stopped; every inch of her clinging with still warm soup; steam rising from her head, shoulders and arms. Only when she was sure it had stopped did she dare remove her hands from her face, hastily pressed there as she realised her dipped head would not be enough.

Deciding her hair was a lost cause like her outfit she had done what she could to keep her eyes clear, her hands swamped as much as the rest of her.

‘Ohhh....that looked awful.’ Clara’s face was at odds with her words. While her voice sounded sympathetic it was clear she had enjoyed every second of it. And given the muffled laughter she could hear so had Lucinda. ‘On the plus side. You’ve banked £2000 pounds and are one right answer away from our Grand Prize.’


‘Madrid is the Capital of Italy.’

‘False.’ Melinda, to no surprise whatsoever, said that at exactly the same time as Lucinda. After all they had both shared a very memorable holiday there during their last year of High School. And made some great memories. The one of them skinny dipping in the lake behind the house was one she will never forget.

‘That is true. I’m sure you both knew it was the Capital City of Spain.’ Clara used that somewhat drawn out exposition to release both heavily souped girls from the chambers and lead them to the front of the stage. ‘And congratulations are in order. While you didn’t manage a..clean sweep, you have won our Grand Prize with a full question to spare. A question that we could just leave..but..wouldn’t you like to know if you could have gotten it?’

‘Well..’ Melinda shared a glance at Lucinda who gave her a nod in return. Clearly like her she was feeling safe enough outside of the chambers to do so. ‘Sure. Why not.’

‘Alright. Here we go.’ Clara flourished the last card in her hand. ‘The Mona Lisa is less commonly known as La Gioconda.’

False? Melinda asked. Surely with such a well known painting she would have heard about that.

‘Sure why not.’ Lucinda agreed.

‘Actually. It’s true.’ Clara said. ‘Still..it doesn’t matter. You still won yourselves a fantastic trip. Well..two actually. Enjoy.’

‘Ahhh.’ That dual cry of surprise came in perfect tandem as the floor beneath both girls hinged open to plunge them both into a deep pit filled with a very thick green sludge. A pit deep enough that they both vanished beneath the surface with a huge splash only to reappear a few seconds later; like to swamp monsters they rose; vibrant green gunk sloughing off them and yet still leaving them utterly swamped with it. Hair and clothes were equally drenched before more of the slippery slop rained down upon them, the pair of girls vanishing beneath the heavy stream that, with the closeness of the pit they were standing in, they were helpless to avoid.

‘Gotta watch out for that pea soup in London.’ Clara chuckled from her position safely above them. ‘Join is next time back in the good old U.S of A where we see who will Soup-a-Friend.’

********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Boy, did this idea come out of the left field side of my brain or what. Funny what ideas can spring up when you are working away, doing a little cleaning and rearranging around the house. And this little idea pretty much wrote itself. I do think the use of Cockney Rhyming Slang was an inspired touch, even if I had to adlib a few words to make the joke work.

If you guys like this, my Patreon is a great place to get involved with the creation of ideas like this and even suggest new ideas or stories you might like to see. Head on over there and check it out.

http://www.patreon.com/white66