Return to the Great House - NHP Flash Fiction

[whiteunicorn]

Return to the Great House

Noel's House Party Flash Fiction

White66

'Well....that's a great way to get the new series off to a flying start.' Noel said with a beaming grin, which wasn't anywhere near as big as the grin of the very relieved Natalie seated safe and dry below the scarily large trough above her head. 'I'm sure Nicole here is very pleased with the surprise prizes she won, rather than the less pleasant one we had planned for her. But that is what we are all about on the House Party. Speaking of surprises, we arranged a little surprise earlier in the week for a certain famous face. One known for her big budget movies. This one was..well..anything but. Here..have a look.'


The disappointment that Jason felt and surely shared with the rest of the assembled audience as the cute brunette squeaked away at the last minute from the gunging that should have rightfully been hers faded into fresh intrigue. That didn't stop his eyes lingering on the skirt and blouse clad female as she slipped with obvious relief from the classic Gunge tank from season one of the original series before they turned to the huge bay windows that formed the back of the set. True, they weren't really windows. More a wide flatscreen projecting a realistic image of the landscape that lay outside of the grand housescape that was the freshly redesigned set. After Noel had taken the reins from her similarly named predecessor for the reinvigorated show the set from the last series had served for the impromptu teaser series. Yet with the show proving a hit and the studio behind this new vision, a rethink and redesign was long overdue.

While the basic feel was the same, the once somewhat rundown stately home of Crinkly Bottom Manor had been restored to its once and former Glory. All thanks to the Stately Lady to whom it was now called home. Or that was the blurb from the series anyway. It was really a way of bringing the show up to the standards of modern production values.

While the set had returned to a classic look, focused around the Grand Staircase over the small stage that connected to the front door, everything was suitably more impressive. The faded faux stone had been replaced with darkly stained and polished wood that gleamed as much as the sparkling metal balustrades and sconces that adorned the walls and the balcony above. Instead of being tucked in a corner, the staircase took pride of place to sweep down across the set as it sat between the two halves of the upper balcony which still lead up to the equally revamped selling point of the show. Of course, it wasn't just the set that had benefitted from modernisation. Largely on the instance of the new Lady of the Manor the name had been brought up to date. Crinkly Bottom might have been the height of tv comedy back in the day, but all involved had agreed it was cheesy and dated these days. So the name had been scraped, pulled from the show altogether. Now the focus was more on the building which has been rechristened Blakeney Manor after the woman who founded in the first place, Kristy Blakeney; fictional ancestor of Noel Blakeney who had inherited it as the sole remaining next of kin. A backstory that had the more refined appeal they had been looking for. All of which had made the show an instant success with new fans and old alike. The latter of which Jason counted himself among. He had been too young to enjoy the show when it was first broadcast of course, yet YouTube had given him access to a wealth of content he had seized upon eagerly. So you could imagine his delight when he heard a new series was being developed. As a closet wam enthusiast, Jason wasn't alone in his secret list of modern celebrities who he would love to see ushered or tricked into the show's iconic gunging apparatus. A fervent wish that was now seemingly going to come true.

A few years back and Jason would never have imagined he would have a fetish. Not that he often called it that but in certain blunt honest moments he couldn't deny that was what it was. He'd never been into anything less than vanilla until a few years ago. Heck, he'd gone through all of secondary school bemused by that word he often heard from his peers as he approached his final year. Somewhat shy, more than one friend of his had remarked he was more likely to do something physical than get 'physical.' Which was sorta true. Okay, really true. Jason had never had the knack of talking to girls. And hardly any of them wanted to talk to him. So much so that he had almost given up on actually getting a girlfriend as his final year of sixth form approached. Then his life changed. His socially uncertainly driven push towards sports earned him a place at his first choice university. And thrust him into an unavoidable path towards social female interactions. Being assigned a single room in the almost exclusively female occupied Greenwood dorm, Jason was forced out of his self imposed shyness and actually made some female friends. More than friends in some ways. And it was there he had had his first WAM experience. During a friendly soccer match, two if the guys had each wagered they would win and offered their girlfriends up as the wager. Of course, their could only be one winner. And what they had done to the loser had caused him some very sleepless, but enjoyable, nights. After that, he had been hooked.

Suddenly aware of the fact he was only one not watching the video being broadcast to the assembled audience, Jason let those tingling recollections fade as his eyes joined the others locked on the screen which thankfully had only just lost the burst of static meant to cover the title sequence displayed to those watching at home and various live streaming devices and resolved itself into a view of an empty corridor.

A view clearly taken from a security camera of some description given the angle displayed. Now Jason, as a freshman, was no expert on college life, yet that lack of experience didn't stop him from recognising that building as being in a college somewhere. There was just something about the nondescript doors on either side of the narrow corridor that reminded him very much of the Campus at Greenwood. Not that his attention stayed on the empty corridor for very long, about as long as it stayed empty really, the double doors at the end pulled open to admit a pair of figures who strode towards the camera before stopping with almost obvious purpose below it.

One of whom Jason wasn't alone in recognising given the rising tide of applause he swiftly joined in with, along with a few ripples of laughter as more than a few of the audience realised exactly who it was had been set up for this particular sequence. Jason wasn't very up on popular culture but even he recognised her. Monique Croft had been a largely unknown actress until she had stolen the show with her performance in an otherwise mediocre b-movie about five years ago which while flopping at the box office had scored her a best supporting actress Oscar and more importantly had brought her onto the radar of the right people. Since then she had been going from strength to strength, seizing a role in a popular movie franchise that had cemented her reputation as a strong and loved actress. And he had seen her face on enough movie posters. Especially the ones plastered to his bedroom wall. True her black hair was a little shorter now, flowing loosely around her neck rather than in the ponytail her character sported. But there was no mistaking that cheerfully youthful face, or her delicately cute nose. Or her bright green eyes sparkling with a love for life. Jason was one to develop celebrity crushes on a whim and Monique certainly filled that niche. What was funny was that she wasn't even hiding. Even the casually baggy t-shirt and jogging bottoms she wore only disguised her trim physique; her outfit absent anything to obscure her face, having eschewed even a hat or sunglasses.

It hadn't escaped Jason's notice the almost obviously purposeful stop below the camera. Well..obvious to one of them anyway. Given the nature of the sketches Jason had seen before, it was pretty much a certainty that one of the women wasn't in on whatever prank was about to befall her. And for his part Jacob very much hoped it would be Monique. Cute as her friend was, he had long hoped to see her gunged one day. Given the continuing applause he wasn't the only one.


'Are you sure you don't mind waiting around? This could take a while.' The figure on the left of the pair asked casually, the possibility of an accidental halting here utterly quashed as their voices were picked up with pinpoint clarity.

'I'm sure.' Monique replied ignorant of the fresh applause that followed those words. Most of the audience were pretty sure they had recognised her face as she appeared, but the sound of her voice clinched it.

'Really. I'm sure.' Monique continued with a smile. 'I can just grab a coffee somewhere and wait until you call. It will give me time to look over this script. You enjoy your tutorial. We can catch up after that. I want to hear all the low down on the campus gossip. Sometimes I do miss it.'

'Will do. Gotta run.' The other lady said with a nod before she vanished down the other end of the corridor, leaving the celebrity to pull out her phone to no doubt check for somewhere she could grab the aforementioned coffee. A search rudely interrupted as a door sudden slammed open to reveal a clearly annoyed blonde storming out of whatever room she had just exited.

'I don't care. Find someone else. I'm done with the stupid b-movie flick of yours.'

'Cynthia..sweetie..' pleaded the woman who followed her, who Jason singly and the audience as a whole clearly noticed was Noel in a loose curly wig, given the chuckle that rippled around him. 'You can't leave us..okay...I guess you can. Now what are we going to..oh. Ma'am. I'm sorry. Are you busy? We could really use some help. It wouldn't take ten minutes.'

'Huh. Oh..me?' Monique asked hesitantly, part of that obviously coming from the fact that she hadn't been recognised. 'I guess. I mean..'

'Great. Come with me.' The disguised Noel grabbed her hand and guided her inside the room the aggrieved blonde had just left before the she could really protest.

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'So...do you think you have all of that?'

'I think so.' Monique replied somewhat dryly. It was hardly an acting challenge really. Heck, her first walk on role had been less complicated than this. And she wasn't exactly a wet behind the ears actress. Unlike the girl who had stormed out of the dimly lit set that surrounded her. No doubt she had just doing this to help out her studies. Either that, or she had thought acting had been for her. Given how flustered she had seemed, she had clearly been wrong. 'Run along the set here, dodge the small aliens and slip into the lift. Then act scared when the large alien bursts through the wall. Piece of cake.'

That description, accurate as it was, oversold the professionalism of this production that while obviously the creation of those with a lot of passion would have made many a cheesy bmovie sci-fi look like an a-list Blockbuster. For one the 'Aliens' were obviously just people in costumes that would have been rejected from the early series of Doctor Who. Also the clumsy stumbling the actors seemed to be practicing around her hardly screamed terrifying. Still..she wasn't here to fix their production. Just help them finish the last scene. She could of course have left. But she couldn't help feeling for them as well. They were one scene away from finishing filming. And it wasn't like she had anything else to do.

Thankfully it was just going to be a short scene. After all, she had her doubts that she could really be a good stand in for her predecessor. Even with the silver wig she had been provided with, there was no hiding the fact she was a good deal taller and..well..more womanly than she had been. There was no other way to look at the fact that the costume she had been provided was very..snug; the tank top tight around her chest as the shorts rode up very high along her legs. She would just have to hope that the low lighting disguised that change. At least she could actually run in this thing.

'Places everyone. Rolling..and...action.'

Taking that as her cue, Monique broke into a headlong dash along the 'metal' gantry that didn't do much clang as deform under her trainer clad feet, the budget clearly not having run to much more than the cheap as chips plastic she was now running across. Even feeling as unsteady as she did, dodging the shambling 'Aliens' and the half hearted lunges they made for her proved laughably easy. So much so that she made it to the lift at the end of the stage with an almost comic lack of jeopardy, the waiting doors wobbling shut behind her the second she slipped through them. Hardly surprising given the real jeopardy was about to happen. Summoning up the little professional determination she could for this impromptu role, Monique sagged back against the lift doors as if actually recovering from having run for her life while she waited for the final 'Alien' to emerge.

While she had offered little actual acting so far, there was nothing acted or scripted in the shriek she released as the faux lift shuddered and the back wall fractured along the pre cut lines she had noticed as soon as she stepped inside, revealing a huge alien skull with dripping teeth and glistening scales and blood red eyes, those fangs bared at her as an unearthly roar filled the enclosed space. Genuinely surprised and closer to being rattled that she would like to admit, Monique dropped into as low a crouch as she could, her heart beating a hundred miles an hour. This was clearly where all the budget had gone, given the poor state of the costumes and the set. Something she couldn't help being impressed by despite being rather rattled.

She stayed in that crouch, waiting expectantly to hear the call that would bring an end to the filming. As a second became two, then five, then ten, she dared to raise her head to see the huge reptilian skull slowly tilt down towards her. Only then did she notice the rather obvious nozzles that had been hidden behind its teeth. And rather too late too. She barely had time to flinch before her world became a gushing storm of heavy green sludge that burst forth without any warning, the dual streams instantly wrapping together and around her hunched form. Her hands were quickly thrown forward but the damage was done almost instantly, that instinctive action doing nothing to hold back the creamy goo billowing in heavy folds over her in wave after crested wave; the frantic twisting of her hands as she fought to protect herself only serving to fling more Gunge over the parts of her not yet covered. Her hair was already splattered with long strands that were nothing to the rivers gushing from torso to hips to thighs and back again each time she twisted her hands against the continuing gush. That might have been enough to save her in some small way had that not just been the start. As suddenly as the spray had begun the pressure suddenly doubled, then tripled, reaching the point where her hands were no longer able to offer even the scant protection they had. Without missing a beat she went from struggling against the rushing sprays to being overwhelmed by them. The sheer force of the increase meant her out-flung hands now only served to direct the Gunge back around her, the forceful backwash of gushing liquid claiming more and more of her in the vibrant spray until she was little more than a blob of green. Frozen and still hunched, she could do little more as wave after wave splattered around and off her, her clothes as lost beneath the clinging green as her once lustrous hair, the protection of the wig washed away seconds ago that could almost have been counted in hours. What gallons of Gunge weren't flung to the walls around her were pouring and pooling around her feet as more and more layered itself upon her. Eventually and yet far too slowly the streams trickled off to leave her to slowly lower her arms, fearing a fresh trick. It didn't come, only the doors hissing open to see Noel outside having shed her disguise with a cheeky grin; one met with a resigned sigh as Monique recognised not just her but how she had been set up.


The onstage Noel had that selfsame grin on her face as she welcomed the celeb who emerged somewhat sheepishly from the top of the stairs, either a little embarrassed by what had just been shown or understandably nervous to be the first celebrity guest of the new series. A nervousness that other hosts might glossed over yet Noel almost delighted in drawing attention to.

'Monique Croft, ladies and gentleman.'

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I think that's a good place to end that little teaser. The rest you can read quite easily on my Patreon Page without pledging. I don't go down the whole paywall route. Rather my Patreon focuses around interactive WAM art and fiction where you guys can help shape what I create. It would mean a lot to me if you could swing by and take a look. Hope to see you there,

White.

Full Story Link - https://www.patreon.com/posts/53963100