The Power of Charlie! (*New* Part three added)

[andy250]

Ok, Here's a different style story, its a comedy romp, that does have sploshing but it's at the end.

The focus is more on people and their views on sex. Of course mine being that all hot ladies need, sploshing...



Chapter One: So it begins!

The sign out of the train window, read. 'Euston
station one mile.' Then in the bottom right hand
corner, somebody had tagged their name with a
spray can! I glanced at my watch, it was 07:30 in
the morning. Way, way, too early! The tannoy on the
pendolino train sparked into life, and informed the
carriage that we were slightly ahead of schedule,
and therefore could not yet get into Euston station.
So please finish your breakfast, enjoying the
network rail room with a view!

Pendolino, who the fuck invented this word? This
is the kind of word that Pete the camera would
invent! I think he has a thing for pissing off the
English dictionary, like no other person I know.
The other day, he sent me an email which had the
word, 'indemnified' in it. I have no idea what this
word means, or how it came to be? Pete the camera
on the other hand, is a literate lazer! He could
tell you the in's and out's of the word, how it
came to be, where it was going, and why! Maybe,
even the time it was due to arrive!

PTC, (Pete The Camera) Had taken the piss big time
on yesterday's shoot. He had ribbed me something
chronic about ending up in my current situation.
I shall now divulge, why I am sitting on a train
just outside London Euston.

I spend a lot of time on social media, twitter,
etc. The twitter platform, I use to advertise
products on, mostly downloads for The Ministry Of
Mess, Wrestling Girls Inc, etc.

On a personal note, twitter seems to find me women,
I will never actually have any chance of meeting,
or taking out for a drink, so forth and so on! Well,
one day I was looking at the feed from the BBC, and
I saw a very pretty lady, in a smart office suit.
After a moment of tweeting, I found this lady's
feed and went to have a look

Well, the first thing I saw, was the lady in
question, putting a condom on her foot, and
pretending it was a sock! I was hooked. Anything
stupid like that, and I'm up for it. The picture
appeared to have been taken when she was in a chain
hotel, possibly a travel lodge. The bedspread,
tables and chairs, gave the game away!

A few more pics got flicked through. Then WOWSER!
A full frontal picture of the lady in question, in
her lingerie. A black and pink Basque, with the
full wardrobe of war! We're talking, elegant
stockings and suspenders, garter, and black high
heels. God, she looked hot. No Primark clobber,
for this lady! Her blonde hair stood out against
the attire. The pink lipstick she was wearing,
attempted to jump through the computer screen, and
suck you in! Who is this lady, I hear you ask?

Fuck me, I've only gone and done it again. How
do I manage it? The lady in question, is Charlotte
Rose, the first lady of sex! How the fuck, did I
manage to find the first lady of sex? Every other
word in my life, has the word sex in it. Apart from
the fact, I get very little sex! In fact, I think
PTC, has stolen the word sex from my personal
dictionary, hence my lack of sexual activity, and
over use of the word sex! Sex, sex, and no sex!

So, I sent Charlotte a tweet, I don't remember
exactly what I said, but I know I'm quite good at
long distance flirting. I'm totally shite at it
face to face. That's what probably leads to the
lack of sex! I'm a total anti climax in a one on
one situation! I'm telling you, the word sex is
cropping up to many times, and we're not half a
chapter in!

Charlotte responded politely, and that was even
worse! Now I liked her! So we played, we both sent
a few more tweets back and forth. Charlotte, made
the first move. She tweeted, 'Please call me,
Charlie.' I thought, right, we're in! Time for
some splosh flirting!

For those of you who don't know who I am. I run
several adult websites, the messy one's being the
most well known. There are two. The Ministry Of
Mess, this has all the messy humiliation and
game show stuff on it. A lot, of very pretty ladies
form an orderly queue, to appear on the site. They
then get obliterated, under a barrage of gunge and
custard pies. For some reason, a lot of their
clothes fall off as well!

The other site is, Fancy A Cream Horn. This is a
messy sex play site. Anything can, and does go!
We've had many an adult star, getting down and
dirty, literally! Basically, if you like messy sex,
then this is the one to visit.

I made my first move, and sent my first messy
flirt to Charlie. I told her she needed a pie in
the face and custard putting down the cleavage of
her Basque!

Right, here's my first big, fucking mistake! This
is Charlie we're dealing with, aka Charlotte Rose.
Most ladies, will giggle and say something along
the lines of.

"Bring it on big boy, etc, etc!"

Not Charlie, she turns round and tells me to bring
the trifles, gunge, soup and mud! I'm taken aback!
This does not go down well with me, I like to win!
The Alpha in me, fires up and thinks,'Fuck it, your
having it both barrels Charlie!' So I deploy a bit
of bdsm flirting, I inform Charlie, she getting it!
I'm going to personally tie her up and rub mud all
over her. I will slowly massage it in, until her
lingerie is sopping in the stuff, turning her into
an aroused, filthy mess! Hopefully this will get her
attention, and make her sub at the other end of this
twitter conversation!

Charlie replies with.

"Bring the sex toys Mr Ministry, and I'll get my
girl friend, we can all play!"

You see, it's all in the name.'The First Lady Of
Sex.' Again, that word, sex! I've not worked out
at this point, I'm playing with a lady who gives,
as good as she gets. I'm still only thinking about
the lingerie, sploshing, Charlie's cute face,
and her lipstick.

I've not got anything in the right order. It
should be. Who is Charlie and her cute face?
Lipstick, lingerie, sploshing. Or something like
that?

The Alpha in me overrides the sex drive, that
word again! And puts it to bed for a fleeting
moment. I need to look into who Charlie is? Why
she can give, as good as she gets?

Meanwhile, the train had not moved!


Chapter 2: I am a totally Charlie!

While I have a moment, I break out the laptop
and jump on the internet, to investigate why
Charlie is on the ball about all things kinky?
Well, I put her name into google. Once, I get
over the pictures that pops up of her, in a light
blue dress, that I find myself wanting to splosh
her in!

It turns out Charlie has an odd job! She is a
sex trainer. See, the word sex, has popped up
already and we're only at paragraph two, of
chapter two! I quickly browse the website and
see a section entitled, 'Sessions,' I get carried
away and click on it. Oh my god! There is a
picture of Charlie on the right hand side of the
web page, in an office suit. She is looking
rather sexy, if I don't say so myself.

Anyway, after recovering from the picture, and
trying to not let anybody on the train notice,
that I'm having a quick perv over Charlie! Like
most other men, my eyes lock onto something
called, 'Condom confidence!' Underneath, there
are other sections, that go by the name of,
'Premature ejaculation control', also, 'intimate
skills for the bedroom?'

Right! I admit now, that I am guilty! But, I
can't help it. My mind goes into, Mr A Wanker
mode. This is a character created by myself and
PTC, for the spoof humiliation shoots, shot for
The Ministry Of Mess. Mr Wanker wants to send
Charlie a message, telling her. He lack's Condom
confidence, get's way too excited, over intimate
moments in the bedroom. Then end's up suffering,
premature ejaculation! In fact, Charlie has a
whole range subjects to help men and women. I
instantly want to spoof it, maybe open the
B'stard and Wanker, splosh sex clinic! Charlie
could be a guest speaker? Though she wouldn't
stay clean for long!

What am I getting myself into? It would appear
that Charlie takes no shit off anybody! She got
upset with the local council in Strood. In her
view, they were doing a shite job! So guess what,
she stood in the local by-election! There is a
picture of Charlie on the internet page, with a
t-shirt saying 'Vote Charlie Rose, for sexual
freedom.'

For some reason, I don't look at the right part
of the picture. Most men would instantly look
at Charlie's pert breasts. I find myself drawn
to her right arm, and her pink watch? This
reminds me, I must buy a new time piece! Then,
I sit there trying to work out, if the hotel door
in the picture, is Travel Lodge, or Premier Inn?

I continue to browse, as it's now possible the
train driver has gone for breakfast, and left
the train behind!

Blow me! She's got her own page on Wikipedia!
How did that happen? I flick through the
information on the page, I notice that she won
an award for being, best sex worker or something
of that nature in 2013. Now I really want to
splosh her! She so needs dressing up in office
clothes and dismantling. Right, this calls for some
heavy duty flirting via twitter! Stand by your
tweets, Charlie Rose. Your having it!

I feel the need to get a bit saucy with this.
Unfortunately, I forget that Charlie is meeting
me off the train! We are both booked to do a live
tv show together. I'll get to that shortly.

I fire up the Ministry page on twatter. Whoops,
I mean twitter! There is a lot of twattering
going on, or so I hear? Is twattering, a word
that PTC! Has invented? Actually, no it's not.
Nikki Lord invented it on set one day! So, she's
as bad as PTC!

I flick through some pics of the models fully
clothed, on the lap top. I select a picture of a
lady in a satin blouse, clean. Then another
picture of the same lady, in the same outfit,
utterly trashed, covered in custard, beans and
gunge. Her hair wrecked and stuck to her face.
The blouse has turned transparent, showing her
breasts through the material. For some reason
she's lost her bra!

Well, I decide we need another picture, to get
the message over to Charlie! So, I add a picture
of a vibrator. Not a small toy, a proper huge,
mains only one! The kind that makes the light
bulbs go dim in your house, when you turn it on!

I send the tweet, sit back, and feel good about
myself, and think. 'That will tell Charlie!' My
phone goes, 'BEEP, BEEP.' I receive a text message.
It's Charlie, she informs me she's got the tweet
and is laughing. Then she reveals, that she knows
that I like women in satin office clothes! So,
she is waiting for me at the station in a nice
shiny number. Blouse and pants, she also hints,
that she may be wearing some seriously hot
lingerie!

The train starts to pull into the station, it
now dawns on me. I'm going to have to flirt, in
a one on one situation with Charlie in the cab,
on the way to the studio. I now suddenly, shite
myself and wish I had been on of Charlie's sex
courses!


Chapter 3. Great Expectations!

It had been a while since I'd been back to
London, I use to come down and stay overnight
in the Imperial Hotel. When going to the London
meets. What are the London meets I hear you ask?

A group of us use to get together who are into
sploshing, for a drink or two. This was a social
event. Basically, we all ended up getting
bladdered and falling over a lot! It always
started off the same way. People milling about
drinking and being social. By the end of the
night, everybody was well pissed! People would
come down from all over the country and then
meet up in the 'Pendrels Oak' pub. Then the
beer would flow, and I do mean flow! There was
a regular crowd of about twenty of us. The host
who ran it back then, was a top bloke. It showed,
as the event became very popular.

At one turn out, we even had people from America
and Europe there. Of course, everybody arranged
session's and talked a load of bollocks. Then I
would find myself crawling back to the Imperial
hotel, drinking a few more cans, then collapsing
on my bed and falling asleep. I'd wake up the
next day feeling proper rough. Then dash to get
the first train back to Manchester, to make myself
feel better? I still stay in touch with some of
the crowd. I'd informed them I was going to do
the tv show. Some of them had said, they'd try
and make it along. As one of the items on the
show, was a panel discussion about sploshing.
Hence how I'd managed to wangle my way onto the
show.

I'd not managed to get on,'The Wright Stuff'
myself,' Charlie had somehow managed that. She
told me, she knew a bloke, who'd been to see her
and a friend a few times! I dare not ask, what
happened when these friends met up? I keep getting
vision's of Charlie secretly being like,'The
Woman', off the new Sherlock Holmes episodes. The
dominatrix who has her finger in every little pie
in high society London. Everybody's secretly
under Charlie's spell.

I'm getting carried away again. Oh, What am I
doing? My heart starts to pound as I exit the
train, and walk up the platform at Euston station.
My mind conjures up a picture of Charlie from
twatter, I mean twitter! She is dressed up, and
singing on stage in the 'Sex workers, opera!' Yes,
she also likes to perform on stage! I nearly
typed. 'Likes to perform sex!" See, it's happening
again. The closer I get to Charlie, the more the
words, hot and sex! Keep popping in my head.

So basically, I was heading into a situation I
had no control over. Charlie had somehow wangled
us onto the program. In some shape or form, I'd
manage to impress Charlie enough, for her to
invite me to London, I sensed the long distance
flirting had worked. Get in! Now the problem was,
I had to perform on the day! What if I was a let
down? I might go to pieces in the taxi, and then
even worse at the studio! I could start drooling
from the mouth live on air, as Charlie will be
sat next to me, looking totally radiant.

For some reason. I wanted to know how much it
would be an hour, to see Charlie when she's at
work? Why, I have no idea. I think it would just
make me feel special. I realize I am a very sad man!
Then I feel, I need to formulate a plan, for a live
sploshing on morning tv. If I can make the moment
arise. A secret, custard gunging of Charlie, live
on, 'The Wright Stuff.' Would actually be, the
right stuff! This is what they want, this is why
the masses tune in!


Chapter Four: Brief encounter!

As I leave the station. I spy with my little
eye, Charlie Rose. God, she looks radiant. Its
like the sun has arrived and resides in Euston
station gardens. As she told me via text message,
she is wearing satin.

My body goes nut's as I walk towards her. My
brain sends a message to, 'Major Tom,' and tells
him to put his, 'helmet on!' I start nursing a
semi-on. I can't help it, she hot and has dressed
like a sexy satin temptress. Stupidly, I've put a
pair of briefs on, so if I get hard, it will make
it even worse!

As I approach Charlie, I get hit by waves of
combined, delicious, sexiness from her body and
perfume. God only knows what she is wearing. But
it's doing the trick! I have a problem? I seem to
be lacking blood flow to important parts of my body!
As it's being diverted by Major Tom, to the helmet!
The Alpha inside me wakes up. This is not a good
moment for this to happen.

My briefs strain slightly under the load, or the
excitement, one of the two? Probably the latter!

Charlie checks me out as I approach. Please lord,
do not let her see the hard on I am sporting. It
will be over before we start! I'm now only a few
feet away from the power of Charlie.

She walks forward towards me, but the gods of hell
fire decide to play with us both! What happens
next, makes us both look like a right pair of
Charlie's!

Charlie trips over a paving stone. As Charlie falls
towards me. In the same instant. I trip over my own
feet. As, I no longer have enough blood circulating in
my legs to actually walk! Major Tom, and the Alpha
have joined forces and decided, that I will now get
the biggest hard on in years. Not now, not in
Euston station gardens, in front of Charlie! This,
coupled with me getting over a cold, leads to a
very embarrassing situation, and you wonder why
I never get to have sex with women. See that
word 'sex' has appeared again!

So, Charlie trips in front of me and loses her
balance. Being a gentleman, I put my hands out
to break her fall.

You know when you try to help somebody, but
things go utterly wrong, guess what happens next.

Charlie puts her hands out to break the fall. I
lean forward to stop Charlie from having an
accident. My right hand, accidentally brushes past
her left breast. Major Tom and the alpha, are
impressed they've touched base! That's it, in their
eyes, there is bound to be uncontrollable flirting
in the taxi! Major Tom attempts to pump even more
blood into my briefs. I think they're attempting
to make my penis turn into the incredible hulk!
This is so, when we get into the taxi, it will be
game on!

Meanwhile, Charlie has a rather sporting moment.
She puts her hands out onto my pelvis to break her
fall. No problem, apart from where my right hand
ends up! Her hands, run down my pants legs in order
to steady her fall. I look down. Yep, you've
guessed it. Charlie has ended up on her hands and
knees right in front of Major Tom!

Fuck me! Well, not in this case! This could only
happen to me! Charlie, must have copped an eyeful
of the erection. She is polite and clambers up my
body via my clothes! Then she apologizes over the
situation.

"Oh, I do apologize Andy, I tripped!"

I melt, two reason's. One it's Charlie, and two
she's dressed in satin! God, she's HOT! Anyway,
Charlie asks another question, which I miss hear,
due to the fact I'm getting over a mild cold.

I think Charlie say's

"Ow, that was bold!"

When actually she asks.

"How's the cold?"

I reply with.

"Seen as sold!"

I have no idea why this gibberish comes out of
my mouth, but it does. My brain, for some reason
thinks she is talking about my penis! I push her
left hand back down my body to the tip of Major
Tom. Charlie's hand brushes against it!

Charlie's eyes light up and say.

'Mayday, mayday. Sex mad Andy, it's only 07:30
in the morning!'

"Bit early for that, don't you think?"

I go crimson, I've totally mis-read the situation,
the mixture of my mild cold, Major Tom and the Alpha,
have gotten out of hand. Charlie spins round and
hails a cab. As the cab pulls up, Charlie is polite
and opens the door for us both. Being a gentleman, I
beckon to Charlie to enter the cab first.

Well, Charlie bends over in her satin pants as
she climbs in. The pants slide down just slightly,
they briefly reveal the top of a pair of really
hot panties! I can't help myself, I just blurt it
out.

"Fuck, yeah!"

Charlie turns round and smiles. She has me. I've
made a total tit of myself in less than two minutes.
Lord help us, in the cab!


Chapter Five: Wind in the willows!

Well, we've made into the taxi. I watch Charlie, as
she gives out the address to the cab driver. I'm
still in shock after the tripping incident, if fact,
I wonder if I'm mentally tripping!

Charlie leans forward, to speak to the taxi driver.

Now, as a bloke, if a lady leans forward in a cab,
you have to check several things out. First: Bra
strap! Is there a bit of strap on show, for you to
ogle over! Second: Side glimpse of boobs! Most men
will tell you a pair of breasts in a bra, nestling
in a nice blouse or a figure hugging top, is well
hot. Three: Arse. You need to examine the lady's
bottom, it's imperative! Four: Shoes, is the lady in
high heels, or does she prefer flats? Worse, have you
totally shit out, as she's wearing wellingtons!

This is of course totally perverted, and sexist.
But, the ladies do it as well, they just don't make
it as obvious. Unless, they trip outside Euston
station, on a loose paving flag, but let's not go
there!

Ok, we know I think Charlie is hot, so I'm going to
check her out, the first opportunity that arises.
Let's not use the word arise or arises, after the
last chapter. Anything of mine rising, around
Charlie does not end well!

So, Charlie leans forward and starts chatting to
the driver. The taxi man, seems to be getting a bit
giddy about the situation. He's obviously going to
make more than a fiver off the job! Or, Charlie has
just used her sexual prowess on the man, and he's
gone to pieces. This may not be too good, when
driving a hackney carriage!

I take a quick peek at Charlie's pert bottom, and
combine the situation with a quick reconnaissance
in the shoe department. Fuck me, Charlie's wearing
some top notch strappy high heels. They've cost a
few bob. In fact, they're probably worth more, than
most of the clothes, I'm wearing! A more detailed
inspection is required!

So, I start my Charlie investigation, from the
feet upward. As we pass the expensive high heels.
I note that she may have stockings on under satin
pants, kinky devil! Then we move up the legs,
they are utterly stunning. Upon arrival at the
extremely pert bottom. I cannot help myself, I
blurt something out loud again.

"God that's a good chassis!" Or some other
racing car comment, that I manage to make sexist
and sexual all in the same sentence!

I forgot to do one thing. That was, to check if
Charlie was looking before I eyed her up. She was,
she'd gone for the oldest trick in the book, she
was using the cabby's rear view mirror, to check
me out, checking, her out! For the second time in
about five minutes I got caught. This time, I just
decided to admit defeat, and looked out of the
cab window.

"Your a kinky individual, aren't you!" Charlie
commented, in a really soft, sexy voice. It was
almost bordering on a submissive tone, I was
sucked in, in an instant.

"Well, I have my moments!"

"We, should play Andy, we should play all day!"

I think, 'Fuck me, result!' though this is short
lived, as the flirting is stopped mid track, by our
driver! Once again, the gods have had it their way!

"PPPPPPRRRRFFFFFFFFTTTTT!"

This is followed by a really dire smell, I look
at Charlie, Charlie looks at me. The driver has
only gone and farted!

This cannot be happening! I've been wanting to meet
Charlie for over a year, and it's all going wrong!
Well, I glimpse at Charlie, she's going a bit green
around the gills, to put it politely! I try to open
the windows, I cannot, the taxi driver is an evil
sod and has locked them! Obviously you cannot open
The doors, it's a London taxi and they lock!

Boy, it's bad, I start turning several shades of
grey. Charlie glances at me, and starts falling about
the cab laughing at my predicament. At least she's
seeing the funny side of it...

"PPPPPPPRRRRRFFFFFFTTTTT"

Christ one a bike, a second delivery!

"Nothing like a working breakfast!" The cabby
comments.

Well, the red mist has come down, literally! Charlie
gets well pissed off with it. She demands he pulls
over and we're getting out. I don't actually argue
the fact with Charlie. She's totally right. The
cabby pulls over, gives Charlie her money back and
we're just under half way there. We pile out of the
cab. The fresh air is a god send. Charlie no longer
looks like the incredible hulk. I'm slowly returning
to pink, from fifty shades of grey!

Before I know it, Charlie has flagged down a bus
and we're on the move again.


Chapter Six: Rising to the occasion!

We get on the bus, how we get on the bus I don't
know, as I don't have an oyster card? Charlie, seemed
to wave to the bus driver and we just got on? I have
vision's of apartment's all over London with men
tied up, waiting for Charlie to come back and free
them, as she has that many sessions on the go in one
day!

My brain is getting carried away again. Well, the
bus is a bit cramped to put it politely. We're packed
in like sardines. I get another whiff of Charlie's
perfume. I try to behave, but keep getting sexually
bombarded by divine smells and hormones! I cannot
cope. The Alpha wakes up, and sends a message to Major
Tom to get out of bed for and retrieve his helmet. I
cannot let Major Tom get control with Charlie next
to me. It would be seriously embarrassing. The bus
stops and even more people get on. Now it's like we're
in some kind of indoor cattle market!

Charlie turns round and faces away from me, as they're
isn't enough room to swing a cat. Not, that you would
really want to swing a cat! Charlie is standing in front
of the stairs looking at a poster, that reads something,
about enjoy you're comfortable, stress free journey.
Yeah, right! I get sexually bombarded by another wave
of Charlie Rose, hormones! That's it! I've had it. I get
aroused, Major Tom is on patrol!. Charlie's hips move
and she brushes across my pelvis with her bottom. She
had to have felt Major Tom?

Charlie turns her head, and looks over her shoulder
and smiles. What is she up to? Suddenly, the bus comes
to a rather sharp stop. Everybody on the vehicle is
pushed forward from the momentum of the sudden halt. I
have nowhere to go, with or without a cat! I fall into
Charlie. Major Tom, touches down with Charlie's bottom
and the satin pants. Oh god, I'm in the doghouse now!
I get the feeling of Charlie's pert butt cheeks in her
hot lingerie, encased in smooth satin pants, against my
pelvis. Major Tom starts the dance of the giddy man,
who has just found the keys to the sweet shop!

I know Charlie must be able to feel it. I'm so going
to get slapped, on a London bus, in public. I start to
think of all the really bad, verbal statements I can
rely on, when the time comes. What happens next shocks
me, to the point that I nearly, sexually explode! Now I
know why Charlie has a page on premature ejaculation,
I may well be about to suffer from it!

Charlie, is a sexual goddess, and a right kinky one at
that, once you get her aroused. The problem was, I
appeared to have indirectly managed to do just that!
Now I find out why she is, 'The first lady of sex.'
Alongside being sex worker of the year 2013. Well,
'Fuck me, sideways with a piece of lettuce!' Charlie,
starts grinding against me, in front of everybody on
the bus. I mean, she really goes for it! She properly
slams both butt cheeks into my pelvis. Major Tom,
well, he can't cope! Charlie, slowly rubs up and down,
I'm sure people on the bus are looking. If Charlie play
groans, I'll go on the spot, and that will be the end
of that!

Did you notice the word sex, and Charlie rose in the
same paragraph again. If you look up, 'sex' in the
English Dictionary, it most likely reads. 'See sexy,
Charlie Rose.' If you look up, 'Premature Ejaculation,
that most likely reads, when you've thought about
Charlie Rose!'

Before the next paragraph, how many of you have now
checked the English dictionary, to see if Charlie is in
there?

Right, Charlie turns her head round and smiles at me.
Now, I'm not that useless around women, that I don't
know when a member of the opposite sex is having a good
time. Charlie, is now having a really, good time! She
stands in front of me. Suddenly, we're facing each other.
Charlie is taller than me with her high heels on. Which
I've now worked out cost more, than all the clothes I am
wearing! She looks at me and smiles, but says nothing.
You could cut the sexual tension, with a carton of
custard, eerrr, I mean knife, what was I thinking!

Well, the Alpha in me, now wants to tie Charlie up
and wreck her with gallons of custard and gunge. Then,
well, things would get silly! Especially in the outfit
she is wearing. God, that outfit wants tearing to pieces!

See, I'm getting carried away again!

Charlie smiles at me, and moves forward to put her
arms around me.

If something is too good to be true, that's because
it is! What happens next, is totally beyond my control,
and the odds must be a hundred to one, against!

The bus has to slam on for a second time. People
rushing across the road, to get to work, or something
of that nature. Well, once again, we all go piling
forward, sardines, tins, cats, and all that! You know
what I mean.

Well, I stumble, my head moves forward. I put my arms
round Charlie's waist, but I cannot stop, somebody
behind me is trying to get off and I'm caught in the
middle! My head, yes, my head! Goes right into
Charlie's bust. Not cleavage, bust! So, I quite
literally have my head stuffed in Charlie's breasts.

Now, as much as it's a nice play to be. Trust me,
Major Tom was highly pleased with the situation! It's
not very polite when you're about to do a tv show with
said person. But it gets worse, much worse!

The person who accidently pushed me into Charlie
during the confusion, pushes me once more. As they're
backpack has got jammed, as they attempt to alight off
the bus. It's not a backpack, more like a small house
they're carrying on their back. It gives new meaning to
the term, 'Kitchen Sink!' Well, I try to breathe, but
I am trapped in the bosom of Charlie Rose, I hear Charlie
crack a funny, about the new smother and face sitting
laws. I actually think, good comic timing that!

My footing goes, and my pelvis ends up sliding into
Charlie's crotch. This is embarrassing enough, but coupled
with the fact, that at the same moment, a text message
from PTC comes through on my phone. BEEP, BEEP! My
phone is right next to Charlie's, how can we put this?
Hyper sensitive part of the female, reproductive anatomy!
The beep vibrates, it sends a sexual shiver through her
pelvis, don't forget I've already accidentally, set
Charlie off! Well, she does a me, and blurts something
out loud.

"God, yes!"

That's it, I lose it! I manage to retrieve my head
from Charlie's bosom! I am red as a peach. I notice
Charlie, looking down at Major Tom, she looks
interested. 'Beam me up, Scotty, I can'e cope!'
Charlie notes where we are and rings the bell. The
bus comes to a stop and we pile off. I stumble off
the bus in a worse state than when I boarded! Charlie
looks me over. Using her body posture, she tells me,
'You're having it, one way or another, I'm having you!"
I glance round to check, and make sure she's not
actually met a good looking man on our travels! I
quickly glance at the message, on the mobile from PTC.
It reads, 'Just thought I'd buzz you.' Yeah, you
buzzed alright, you buzzed Charlie in all the right
places!


Chapter Seven: Mission Impossible.

Now, I'd heard off Charlie, through some of her
tweets that when she gets sexually aroused, she
becomes utterly passionate about all things sex!
That word again! She is now standing on the pavement,
almost sexually growling at me. It's like facing a
sabre tooth tiger! She checks out Major Tom again,
points at him, then speaks.

"Stand to attention, face forwards, don't you dare
go anywhere, I'll be right back!"

In front of me there is one of those twenty four
hour, Tesco mini mart type affairs, Charlie dashes
in. I reckon Charlie has gone on a mission for
condoms. Good idea, as I never brought any. I never
thought I'd ever get in this situation, especially
not with Charlie Rose!

I watch, as Charlie grabs a basket, and starts
dashing up and down the aisles, what the fuck is she
doing? All I hear from inside the mini mart is.

"Thank Christ for that!

I see Charlie dashing to the counter, with what
looks like, five, one litre cartons of custard! What
the fuck have I done? I manage a quick prayer to the
god of Fetlife, before realizing, it's sink or swim
time. She really was serious, when she said she was
having me! How the fuck does she plan to do this?
We're about to go live on national tv. Not even
Charlie Rose, would dare to attempt indirect sex
play, during a morning tv debate show, or would she?


Chapter Eight: I am the first lady of sex, now
bring it!

We get ushered into the studio, Charlie and myself
get separated and go into makeup and clothing. I
get given a half decent pair of pants. A nice blue
shirt, and matching tie. Then, they sit me in a chair
and slap makeup all over my face. That bit, was,
well, different!

I sit in the chair, thinking, 'She cannot surely
be brave enough, to attempt, what I think she's
going to attempt?' Now, you have to bear in mind
that Charlie, may sometimes appear to act like, a
bit of a Charlie! But, trust me, she's properly
switched on. She knows what she wants and is
nobody's fool. Once her mind made up, she sets
about going and getting what she wants. That's
why I sometimes compare her to the woman off,
Sherlock Holmes.

I break out the mobile phone, and drop at text
message to PTC. It reads, 'Might have to deploy
some, tic-tac-toe!' After about five minutes, I
get a beep on the phone and a message back,
reading, 'Roger that, standing by.' Yes, I may
have to go into military mode to survive the
engagement!

I still could not work out, how Charlie was
going to get to play, whilst we were live on air?
Then it dawned on me. Oh shite! She could bring it,
and worse. She could bring it whilst nobody was
looking!

The make up lady came back into the room, and
asked me to follow her to set. I got a glimpse of
Charlie in her outfit. FUCK ME! I could have
died and gone to Devon a happy man, there and then!
She was wearing a really hot summer style dress, low
cut and white. Matthew Wright came along and said
hello, then started going on about the show and other
things that were not interesting. What was interesting,
was Charlie and the figure hugging dress! What did I
tell you about earlier, figure hugging clothes for
women!

Also, there is the sploshing element when wearing
white, it goes see through! But, of course
thinking like that would just be pervy! I wondered
if Charlie was wearing a bra? Then realized, I was
going to drop myself in the lurch, if I didn't pay
attention to what was going on around me.

So, we all formed a single line waiting to go
into the studio. Somebody was introducing the
panel, as there were two other guest's, a guy and a
lady. She looked nice, he had a beard'y Ben thing
going on! Charlie, had not got the custard, where
had that gone?

As we wait to go on, Charlie is in the line up
in front of me. I hear a noise, that sounds very
much like my fly being un-zipped! Oh Christ, she's
not calmed down, she's still feeling randy, and now
in a sexy white dress!

Anyway, she can't quite get in my pants, as I'm
just out of reach. This does not go down well with
Charlie, she obviously wants to play! So, she moves
her hand further down my pants, and gets hold of as
much fabric as she can, then yanks me forward several
paces. At the same time, she pulls my pants up and
almost wedgies me! I now have half a tonne of pants
up my left butt cheek!. Charlie gets her hand into
my pants and comments.

"Better, now I can play!"

Major Tom, goes into meltdown. The helmet cannot
go on fast enough! Charlie grips me. Just as she
starts playing, the crowd start clapping and we're
getting walked onto set. Charlie has her right
hand, stuffed inside my best hired flairs. I
mentally shite myself! At the last moment Charlie
lets go. Major Tom manages to keep his helmet on,
and get back in from his unexpected space walk!
I don't get chance to zip up. So I have to walk
onto set, waddling slightly. I can see Charlie,
mentally pissing her sides at me!

We sit down at our places. Now if you've watched.
The Wright Stuff. You'll know they all sit behind
a big desk, you cannot see the guests, from there
waist down. Neither, can you see what's behind the
big desk. To me it also looks like a big shop
counter!

Well, fucking slap me with a wet salmon! The bag is
there, with a pair of scissors next to them. In the
bag are the five cartons of custard. Charlie's had
them stashed behind the desk you cannot see through.
Right, fuck it. If she's bringing it. I'm having
her!

When I was getting tarted up by the makeup lady.
She kept having to nip out to oversee other duties.
I broke out the emergency, force Charlie Rose to
have an orgasm or two supplies! In my socks, I've
hidden two small sex toys. You know the type, bullet
style vibrators. As this is going to be close quarter
combat, that is for certain. I think she's going to
attempt to put custard down my pants, whilst we do
the show. So, she's getting custard in the knickers
along with several vibrators if I get my way. Let's
see, if she can answer questions, with a forced
orgasm or two, thundering down her rail road
tracks.

Right, from here on in, it's all military sex
talk. Time to engage the target at close range.
'ave it!


Chapter Nine: Tales of the unexpected!

The title music to the show plays, the audience
clap and cheer, the host bursts into life and starts
talking about today's show. The main topic of the day
are, fetish, sex, that word again, and religion.
Hence, why myself and Charlie are on the show. Hmm,
does that mean that beard'y Ben is a vicar? Best not
tell him about the church of the holy pie sketch!
Girls, pvc nuns, a lot of mess, with father Wibble
and Dibble. He might feel the need to bless myself
and PTC!

I glance round the audience, my luck is in. Some
of the lads from the London meet have made it to
the event. Now I might just have half a chance of
surviving the Charlie Rose engagement.

Questions are getting asked about the daily
papers, and stuff. Beard'y Ben and the nice lady,
were really getting into the debates, I answered
my questions and was polite. Charlie got well into
it, she is really passionate about these things.
So she got on her soap box, at the first given
opportunity.

Good, she's getting involved with the situation.
I need to deploy some covert splosh activities!
The first thing I need to do, is get hold of those
cartons of custard and get them open. Then get
at least two litres up Charlie's legs and into
her lingerie. That will dismantle her!

I pretend to start coughing! Make my apologies
and bend down, to avoid spluttering all over
the guests live on air. I zoom into the sock
department and retrieve my close quarter battle
weaponry! One of the vibrators get's excited,
and switches on against my ankle. Christ, I'm
rumbled! Luckily, Charlie is absorbed in the
debate and does not hear the nearby buzzing!

The two bullet style vibrators make it under
the bench. Now comes the tricky part. I have to
acquire, some, or all of the custard!

I lean over and make a joke about one of Charlie's
answers live on air. Everyone laughs. I put my
arm around Charlie, as an excuse to get close to
the bag that is under the table. I almost make it,
when! I feel Charlie's hand under the counter. She
pushes me away. She still wants control! Ok, I
need to deploy extra troops to the combat zone,
so be it. She's having it!

I look over to one of the lads from the meet.
Quietly they get a bag out from under one of the
seats. From within the bag, they slide out a large
custard pie. It's a well made pie if I don't say so
myself! When the camera's are off me, and focusing
on beard'y Ben and the nice lady. They covertly pass
the pie over to me.

Now, there is no way, I can get away with pieing
Charlie in the face, live on air! We need to be more
subtle. So I nod to the lads to stand by. Time for
some. Overt, versus Covert, Work. This delivery
needs to be sneaky, catch Charlie off guard and
send her a message, that I now want to play and she
is going to get trashed live on air. That white
dress so needs to get messy! Especially with
Charlie wearing it.

I wait for my moment. Charlie gets utterly
passionate about a question to do with foreplay
and sex workers. In fact, she gets so involved,
she leans forward on her chair/stool slightly and
raises her pert bottom off it. As she leans
forward stating her case. I slide the pie onto her
seat, and into position without her knowledge!

Now, I have to say that Charlie's speech about
the sex industry was a rousing one. All relevant
and true, I nod by head in agreement. Nice lady
agrees, beard'y Ben is not so sure. But there we
are!

Ok, we have a problem. When Charlie sits down there
is going to be an almighty, SPLAT! This will be heard
live on air, and the game will be up. So, we need a
Bit of misdirection! I sneakily give a hand signal
to the lads to stand by.

Charlie, finishes her statement, and sits back down.
SPLODGE! Two things happen. Just as Charlie impacts
with the pie, I put her off by grabbing her left
hand. With my right hand, I play, lets hold and hands
and flirt, by rubbing my fingers down the palm of her
warm hand. As the splodge occurred, the lads all
coughed in unison. Disguising the sound of the pie,
impacting into the arse area of Charlie's dress!
Charlie turns round to face me, her mouth is wide
open, and she has a vacant stare on her face. She
cannot believe I have ammunition. She recovers and
glances under the table.

I make a move, and put my arm round Charlie on air.
The reason for doing this, I'm actually twisting
Charlie's arse and knickers into the pie, to make
sure it properly seeps into the parts, that
Carlsberg cannot reach!

Charlie has taken a round, she is in shock. I make
a second move and grab the bag and scissors from
under the counter and slide them over to me. Right,
now were are those vibrators!

Beard'y Ben, seems to be aware that there is some
kind of kinky sex fight about to break out, between
myself and Charlie. He must have succumb to the
Charlie Rose hormone attack. Indirect fire! Charlie
feels the need to answer another question, she is
well fired up now.

Now, I don't know if she is getting more passionate
as she is aroused, if so, that's my fault! I open
the first carton of custard. I write down on a piece
of paper, 'Andy wants you!' Then I slide it in front
of Charlie. She is peering at Mr Wright and making a
passionate speech about sex and foreplay. Right,
Mizz Rose, talking about foreplay, time for more
sploshing! Charlie picks up the piece of paper and
is about to glance at it, when!

I squirt at least half of litre of cold clammy
custard up Charlie's dress, right up her legs and
make contact the with the primary target! Major
Tom, puts, his helmet on and is ready, willing and
able! He tells the Alpha, he will lead the charge
of the light brigade!

I go for another attack. I shoot my load! It's
a pearler of a shot if I don't say so myself, this
shot rides right up the inside of Charlie's left
leg, and lands round the inside of her left thigh.
A spot where a lot of women are sensitive!

My plan backfires, I get caught in a blue on blue
situation! Friendly fire! The custard delivery
scrambles Charlie's brain. Her sex hormones rampage
to the front cortex of her brain. She gets an
almighty sexual endorphins rush from the custard
arousing her. Charlie forgets to look at me. She
looks at Matthew Wright, and instead of answering
the question she has been asked. She blurts out the
only things she can remember!

Unfortunately, this was on the piece of paper I
had passed her. I can see from her eyes and body
posture, she cannot control what's about to happen.
She gazes at Mr Wright in front of everybody, and
blurts out!

"Andy wants you!"

Well, I'm in the shite now. Charlie has just told
the nation I wish to have a moment of gay passion
with the host of, 'The Wright Stuff!'


Chapter Ten: Tic-Tac, watch my bloody toe!

My fleeting moment of passion with Mr Wright is
fortunately, short lived! He starts laughing at
Charlie's comment, but his face tells a different
story! It's now becoming harder to continue this
clandestine war, of splosh nerves!

Custard is slowly dripping down Charlie's legs and
onto the floor! This may well give the game away.
Ok, I need to get even more custard into play, and
the first of the small vibrators. I very slowly get
another carton of custard and move it about under
the bench. I'm trying not to move my arms about to
much, so I don't blow my own cover on national
television. For some reason the debate moves onto
religion and its connection with sex. Beard'y Ben,
seems to be well into this, all about the meaning
of mankind. I feel the need to bless him and his
beard, but I resist!

Charlie is listening intently, I am not! Major Tom
wants to get the vibrator into play, so we can
sexually dismantle Charlie, and give her an orgasm
on national tv. So, the conversation gets round to
asking questions on the morality of sex, etc, etc.

I almost feel the urge to have a word with the big
man in the sky to move things along, I nearly blurt
out. God! This is doing my head in! Something tells
me this would not have gone down well, with beard'y
Ben?

Bizarrely my prayers are answered! I seize my
moment, I put my hand on Charlie's left leg and pull
her legs open! Oh er', kinky devil! Oh shite, wrong
words, sorry God! I'm getting giddy! Another carton
gets put into play. I shoot my second load in two
minutes! Half a litre of custard right up Charlie's
now, not so white dress! Splurdging her lingerie for
a second time! I get the small vibrator, sneakily
switch it on and attempt to slide into Charlie's
knickers!

I know, that Charlie knows. Yet she is trying to
keep a straight face on national television. Major
Tom, and the light brigade attempt to guide my hand to
the right point, up Charlie's dress! I don't have the
time to mess around in Charlie's sloppy knickers.
Which is a shame, I could quite happily stay there
for a while!

A question is asked by Mr Wright, directly to Charlie.

"Charlotte, what would you say if you saw Jesus, say
for example, the second coming arrived, and he was on
a bicycle!"

Where do they get these stupid, day time questions
from? Does somebody get locked in a room and the key
gets thrown away, until they right utter dribble!

Charlie looks in deep thought to the camera. My hand
with the bullet vibrator, is almost there!

I manage to lodge it in play! Just as I do so. Charlie
must have been getting ready to answer the question.

For the second time in about five minutes I manage
to upset the apple cart! Charlie is ready to regal
words of wisdom, when I pat the front of her knickers.
The vibrator lodges into the holiest of holy's, Amen!

Charlie blurts out!

"Christ on a bike!"

Followed by a gaping mouth and vacant stare. My first
salvo, lands bang on target. The audience and panel
are somewhat bemused at Charlie's statement!

Nice lady and beard'y Ben, now think something is
going on. I get asked a question and I reply to the
best of my ability, which is not much! As Major Tom
and his helmet, are wanting to go on a space walk to
the inside of a certain lady's, custard filled, not
so white dress.

I gaze at the camera for a moment and seem to make
some weird hand signals using my fingers, similar to
horse racing, tic-tac-toe. Yep, I've just called in
my first air strike!

Charlie get's wind I'm doing something, and stabs
me in the right foot in the little toe, to inform me
that she's on to me. Doesn't really matter Miss Rose,
you're a ticking sexual time bomb now. The question is,
are you going to go off with me sitting next to you?

Mr Wright informs the audience, at home and in the
studio, that we will shortly be going live to the
phones, to collect people's thoughts and views on
today's subjects. None of which I can remember, due
to Charlie sexually teasing me!


Chapter Eleven: What ever you can do, I might
be able to do better!

While Beard'y Ben and the nice lady are talking
about the papers, or something, as equally, not
interesting! Charlie goes on the rampage. She goes
under the counter with her hands. Grabs a full
carton of custard, pulls open my flies that I've
not been able to zip up, since we're where waiting
to come on air. She is a right little minx at this
point. Charlie doesn't just pour the custard into my
pants. She pulls my briefs open, releases Major Tom
from his observation post, and deluges him, his
helmet and the two hairy bikers that travel with him!
Yes, they all get swamped in custard! Charlie is
unluckily stopped by a request from a caller.

"We have a caller on line four for Charlotte."

Charlie gets well giddy. I try to put things back
into their box, before I get done for indecency!

"Your name caller?" Asks the tv girl.

"Hello Charlotte, my name is Mr Tard, or Bas, to
my friends." The voice responds, in a flat, monotone
manner.

I'm falling about all over the place laughing,
beard'y Ben and nice lady cannot see the funny side
of it. Neither can Mr Wright, or tv girl!

"What, your called Bas-Tard?" Charlie innocently
asks.

Once more I am in fits of laugher.

Mr Tard's voice sounds stern and monotone.

"Yes, that's right, girl. You should know your place,
girl. That place, girl, is covered in custard, girl!"

Right, that's it, it's now or never! I'm sitting
in the chair wetting my sides at Charlie. As I know
its PTC doing his Mr B'stard character, from The
Ministry Of Mess shoots. I look over to the lads
from the London meet and give the nod. I pray that
one of them who is a DJ, has managed to take over
the control room and keep us on the air!

I turn to Charlie beaming like a Cheshire cat and
say.

"My name is Mr A, Wanker! You are a very naughty
girl and you having it.... And you're having it
now!

I bend down for a moment. Pies fly in from the
crowd that have been stashed under seats. Anywhere
that we basically could hide food in, we had!

PTC starts directing the malay from his mobile
phone, people start to throw food, and pies
at Charlie and the nice lady. Beard'y Ben is a
casualty of war, his beard gets caught in the
cross fire! I remember somebody gets a couple of
good shots in, with spaghetti of all things. It
splatters all over Charlie's chest! The top of
her white dress starts going see through.

Result! Charlie's not wearing a bra! Wey hey! I
go for another carton of custard. Even better, my
luck is really in, one of the lads passes me a pie.
I quickly slap it in Charlie's face.

Charlie is in fits of giggles and hysterics, she
knows everything has gone south, there is no point
worrying about the tv show now. We're never going
to get invited back on! Well, the studio looks
like something out of, The Great Race, pie fight
scene. Mr Wright crawls out of there, but some
kinky soul manages to flan him on the arse. I think
it was the tv girl. Might be a revenge thing for
him being the boss!

I look at Charlie, Charlie looks at me. I have
to say I'm in a state. As in order to get Charlie,
I've had to get plastered in the process. Charlie
starts giggling like a school girl, who fancies a
lad in the school yard. I think, 'Result!' More
pies fly at us both. Followed by two buckets of
gunge. To this day, I have no idea on god's green
earth, how they got gunge in there? For the record,
the gunge was green as well!

A bucket of gunge hits Charlie square in the
chest, causing her dress to stick to her cleavage,
which was definitely a bonus! Major Tom approved,
and so did the helmet, along with the two hairy
bikers that had gone swimming in custard! Chaos
ensued for several minutes, then we got taken off
air. Which was kind of to be expected really!


Chapter Twelve : The Scooby Doo, vanilla
ending!

Right, for all of you who don't believe in sex
before marriage, or only at night time, with the
bedroom light off, under the duvet, here is your
ending.

We got escorted out of the studio, they actually
allowed us put our other clothes back on.
Charlie's hair was plastered all over her face.
Make up was gone! But she still had a vibrator in
her knickers which was a consolation. Though I had
not completed my primary mission, which was to give
Charlie a messy forced orgasm. We hooked up with
the guys from the London meet. I thanked PTC for
stepping in on the phone. Then we all went off to
the Penderels Oak pub, and got wankered! I then
got a hotel room with Charlie, and played kinky
scrabble. Charlie got plastered at the pub, but
somehow turned off the vibrator, boo!


Chapter Thirteen: The Charlie Rose, goddess of
sex ending!

Right, here is the xvideos ending, so you have
to be over the legal age required for reading porn,
in your country of residence. And have signed off
the 2257 statement, required by law, to even think
about sex, oral sex, or even the word sex. I knew
it would pop up again, now the words pop-up are
being taken the wrong way! Enjoy.

Charlie was wrecked, but she had yet to orgasm.
Well, we may well have a delayed charge! On the
other hand, my fuse is not far from going off!

God, Charlie looks hot, and even hotter after
somebody threw a bucket of green gunge over her,
in that white dress. Her breasts appeared to have
got extra curves to them, caused by the dress
clinging to her sexually elegant body. Major Tom
has his helmet on, and the two hairy bikers appear
to be giving signals, that the soup of the day is
ready to serve!

Charlie is aroused, I cannot blame anybody else
for this, it's my fault, in my eyes, she is utterly
hot. I could spend all day playing! The goddess
made a statement to me.

"I told you. I'm having you! I'm having you here
and now, you are a dirty little boy, aren't you!"

Charlie looked me straight in the eyes. So I
attempt something witty!

"Bit of an understatement that, looking at the
state of us both, I'd say, we're a right pair of
filthy fuckers!"

I'd attempted to cross a bridge too far! Charlie
put her hand into my pants, she was not messing
about now. I now found out, why Charlie Rose is,
the first lady of sex, and why one of her
specialities is the hand job!

She puts her left hand into my pants. Charlie very
softly gets hold of Major Tom. Her thumb slowly
and seductively, caresses him. Making him want to
show all his helmet, that appears to be all shiny
for some reason? Now Charlie's three middle index
fingers, rub up and down Major Tom's shaft, in a
semicircular motion. Her little finger somehow gets
underneath, the two hairy bikers and caresses their
over night ruck sack!

I look down at the activities, and cannot help but
moan out loud in the middle of the tv studio.

"For what we are about to receive!"

I chose the wrong statement, as beard'y Ben
nearly blesses us both!

It gets sexually better, a lot fucking better!
Charlie combines all the movements together. I'm
looking down. When Charlie softly speaks.

"Andy look at me, look into my eyes, Andy!"

I do as I'm told, I'm a like a young man who
is having his first sexual encounter. God, your
lucky if it's Charlie Rose! Custard is dripping
down her nose in a major cute way. She slowly
plays with me. Major Tom seems be freaking out!
I can feel it, it's happening. I'm going to
detonate, my fuse wire has run out. But wait!

Charlie lets go and starts moaning herself, she
puts both hands on the desk. The vibrator has
struck. NO!!!! Piss poor timing on my part. Charlie
tries to stop her orgasm, but she cannot hold it
back much longer. I'm afraid to ask if she's needs
a hand! I worry she's going to tell me to finish
myself off. What an anticlimax, that would be.
Get it, climax! Sorry!

It's a sexual delight, watching Charlie Rose about
have a forced orgasm, in a white dress covered in
custard, gunge and all other manners of food
substances! My eyes are transfixed on her gorgeous
breasts slopping about in the dress. Fuck, I want
to tear that dress open, it's like Christmas day
I want to play with everything!

Charlie's looks up from her messy hair, her eyes
have nearly gone into the back of her head! Might
be a full body, can't move, let alone think orgasm.
Told you she was a kinky soul.

The hand, of the one named Charlie, dives back
into my pants. Work recommences! Charlie does two
quick side strokes on Major Tom. For some reason I
find myself looking at the ceiling! Which I note,
has somehow got custard on it. But, let's not go
there, when more interesting things are about to
happen.

Charlie keeps her promise, she takes me, but the
vibrator I landed, takes her!

I know I blurted a lot of sexual profanity as
Charlie completed her promise. I hadn't let go like
that from hand play in a while. Charlie got hold of
the counter and followed suit, by letting go all
down her leg! We both think we saw Beard'y Ben and
nice lady having a quick fumble. Charlie's hormones
where probably making everybody in the studio
randy.

After some time we all got out the studio, found
our clothes and did one. I said goodbye to the London
lads and sent PTC a message to say thank you.

Then, I went to a hotel with Charlie, where we had
passionate sex all afternoon. Charlie put me through
the new positions, she owned the copyright to, for the
latest kamasutra book! That was an experience I can
tell you!

Ok, the above paragraph was a little white lie. We
had to say our goodbye's, as Charlie had radio
commitments and other appointments to keep. I had
filming booked and loads of bollocks that needed
writing. So, I got the train home, and for the first
time, I wished I could of stayed in London for a
while longer.

Several days later I got a letter off Offcom for
wrecking the studio, and upsetting Mr Wright, but
let's not get into that!

Dedicated to the brave people of Belgium, who on
the morning of 22/3/16 Stared death in the face
and kept going. Good on' em.

[andy250]

Big thanks to @leenasub for proof reading, and helping out on writing blurb! (Top Man!)

@TillyCat and @Toy for proof reading.

Special thanks to Charlie for being a total start.

regards

Andy and the team.

[andy250]

A picture of the lady herself, the utterly lovely Charlotte Rose. Who if you follow my twitter feed.
You'll know I spend a lot of time to talking to....

[andy250]

Part Two, Chapter One. Diets and mental muddy mess!

Why am I on another train I hear you ask. Well, I have a
train fetish! Ok, I'm fibbing, I'm currently waiting to
get into Newcastle station to meet Charlie, as we're going
to London to do a radio show. Now, as you know, or maybe
You don't know, Charlie did radio for a year, so she is
pretty clued up on what goes on. How to put a show
together, etc.

The difference with this show is, I'm going to splosh
Charlie live on air. Now, we've been winding each other
up for over a fortnight about this. To the point where,
if Charlie had been in the room I'd have tied and pied
her there and then. Problem is, I'd probably have got
carried away and got the toys out, and given her several
forced orgasms during the course of the play!

Whilst we wait to get into Newcastle let me enlighten
you all on what's been going on. After the Wright Stuff
TV appearance, it went quiet for a little while. Charlie
went about her normal day work, escorting and sex worker
stuff. God I've put the word sex in and it's only the
third paragraph of chapter one, part two! I went back
to Manchester and filmed a lot of female wrestling which
was fun.

Of course I flirted with Charlie in a totally outrageous
fashion via twatter everyday, for most of the day to be
honest! I know what you're all asking. Have we had full
sex yet?

I can't believe you'd actually ask me that question. But,
I would if it was you, so fair play...

The answer in short is no! We have a new problem, if we
do have sex it might be a major anti-climax! I might get
so sexually pent up, that it ends up being a wam, bam, thank
you mam and it's all over!

Plus, I'd need to raid Tesco's or Asda for all its custard
and whipped cream, so I could utterly dismantle the lady
in a sexual frenzy of messy substances! You can see where
this would lead, I'd end up having to visit Charlie's website
again for sexual advice.

Anyway, back to the radio show. It's a live phone in, the
public get to say what happens. I've been told under no
circumstances can the lads from the London meet be involved.
Can't think of any reason why, after the Wright Stuff program,
can you? Charlie won't fall for that trick twice. So as
Baldrick from Black adder would say, 'I've come up with a
cunning plan!' Though this is yet to be deployed.. MHAW!
Gunge Charlie..

As we wait to enter Newcastle station, I'll regale a short
Charlie tale. Charlie is doing the sex workers opera. She's
really excited about it and has been putting in a lot of hard
work, with rehearsals, etc. Now I'll be honest, I've taken a
bit of a back seat on this, as it's something she really wants
to do. So there is no point me being silly and putting her
off.

That is, until Charlie declared to me she wanted to go on a
diet, as she wants to looks stunning on stage. I of course
used this as an excuse to flirt with her, in person and on
twatter. In my eyes she needs her clothes ripping off twenty
four seven, tieing to a bed and giving ruddy good seeing to,
for as long as I can last. With the amount of pent up sexual
tension with Charlie, this may not take too long! So the sex
side of things might not lead to a huge weight loss. So, I
decided to hint to her that maybe doing a tough mudder course
in shiny office clothes is the answer! I have hinted several
times via twatter. You may have seen one such attempt floating
about. Three pictures together, one of Charlie lying down in a
park looking stunning in a dress, then one of a lady sitting
waist deep in muddy water. Then to just push home the idea. A
picture of huge mains vibrator. Do you think she got the
message? Not that I'm kinky at all you understand!

Could you imagine Charlie on a tough mudder course, dripping
from head to toe in watery mud, she fails an obstacle as she's
not done it in the allotted time. So I get to give her a forced
orgasm using toys... GOD YES! Sorry, I'm getting way, way,
carried away with this fantasy, I'd better stop! Hang on, I
need to go back in for a minute.

She'd be in a ruined satin blouse. God, imagine if it was
gold or white it would go transparent! COOORRR! A short
black office skirt, with stockings and suspenders. Every time
she fails an obstacle I get to give her a forced orgasm. God!
She'd have to fail everything, I'd be in seventh heaven..
Not that this reads or sounds like any of my hardcore messy
stories! Right, what happened with the diet then...

No! Back into the fantasy, as I want to rip Charlie's blouse
open and make her do the rest of the course with her bra, or
basque on show... RRRRIIIPP!! Buttons go everywhere, Charlie
play gasps and looks at her muddy pert breasts. Major Tom
salutes the situation, all is good in the world! I come out
with some rude sexual profanity and tell Charlie to get
running. I revel in the power way, way too much! Charlie knows
this! So she walks, just to take the power back. Biatch!

Enough! Back to the story! I was at Charlie's apartment she
told me she was going to walk the four miles to the theatre,
where they are doing rehearsals. Sounds like a crackin'
fitness regime idea.

Now at this point, I should warn you nothing ever goes to
plan in the world of myself or Charlie. The odds on things
getting out of hand when we are around each other just
increase tenfold! So Charlie decides that she will do some
live tweets on her walk, pictures and updates on where she
is, etc. All sounds jolly doesn't it!

I have to go out, to take care of some shoot work and
meet a few models, to discuss future sets etc. But, before
I leave Charlie winds me up sexually, then sends me on my
way without any play. So basically Major Tom is straining
at the leash in the pants department before I leave.

After a couple of minutes I've cooled down sexually, and
calmed down mentally. Charlie sets off and sends out a few
normal tweets via twatter. Now I knew it was too good to
be true. As soon as I read Charlie's messages I start
getting horny. In fact, as I type this paragraph Charlie has
just popped up on a twatter message, it's five seventeen on
Friday 6/5/16, so she's probably just finished rehearsal for
the day. Stop interrupting Charlie!

Anyway, I see a message off Charlie and misread it! You
know, you've done it yourself. Something to do with being
sexually aroused, anything I read from Charlie now has
sexual continuations attached to it. I've had it!

I think the message reads, 'Today, bondage rehearsals.' I
think, 'Fuck me, this will be some show'. Charlie's either
getting tied up, or trusting up another member of the cast.
I go all pervy and hope she's female. Result!

I glance down at twatter again, and find that I've totally
misread the text. It actually reads, 'Bonding rehearsals.'
Mass anti climax in my world. For some reason I still hope
the bonding includes some bondage!

So, I board a bus and head across London, my world is a
mishmash of Charlie's twatter messages. Charlie puts a tweet
out saying she is passing the, 'Shagwell Centre?' Eh, what?
Is this place some kind of sex worker location that Charlie
has not told me about? I shake my head and look at the tweet
for a second time. I see it reads, 'Chadwell Centre.' Oh
my, I am suffering the power of Charlie!

As I raise from my seat to alight the bus, a couple of
minutes have passed. Charlie relays another message, I swear
it reads, 'passing the active virgin'? What? She's going past
a park and is helping some virgin to become active? Charlie
Rose, mobile sex worker! For some reason my brain wants the
virgin to be female, in her mid twenties and quite busty and
in shiny pristine office attire. No idea why that popped into
my head, but it did!

I get off the bus and shake my head, several people passing
by wonder what I'm doing. I read the message for a second
time, now it reads, 'passing virgin active.' I decide I must
tune out from Charlie for an hour or two, before my brain
explodes sexually! Trust me, I think her endorphins effect men
if they stand next to her for too long. It's like being exposed
to some kind of sexual radiation!

(If we get enough responses through hits, say it gets over
1000 I'll write a full second part.)

[andy250]

Chapter two: Trains, books and business.

Well, the train that is a virgin appears to be moving? So,
we are pulling into Newcastle station. I wonder if Richard
Branston pickle has met Charlie? Why else would he use the
word virgin to promote his products? Bet he went to a do
somewhere, and Charlie was in the room and her endorphin's
affected him. Then the name got changed from Branson to
Virgin. Probably not, but it's a good yarn!

I view the platform from the carriage, I see Charlie waiting
to board. OH MY! I know it's sunny Charlie, but you've gone
mad woman. Charlie's been doing a sex seminar, so she's had
to dress formally for a couple of days. Now with the weather
being warm I can understand ditching blouses and skirts, etc.
Plus, there is the added problem of myself wanting to do things
to Charlie on the train, as she's got her office attire on.
In fact, she might have got changed to stop me from getting
carried away?

Anyway, what is Charlie wearing I hear you ask? Well, starting
with her hair, today this is slightly curly. This I think is
horny as fuck to start off with! The Problem is, no matter
what Charlie wears, or doesn't wear? I still think she's hot.
I really do have an urge to pull the shorts down she's wearing!
Ok, let's describe the outfit so you understand the shorts
comment.

Charlie's wearing a black t-shirt, with a print on the front
from a book entitled, 'Cold Call' by Colin L Chapman. This is
the latest Charlie read. If I don't plug Colin's book, Charlie
will go mental, and I'll not get any flirting for at least one
hour. So go buy his book, make him a millionaire and I might
get to utterly mess Charlie up on the radio later. Result all
round!

Now the shorts? Yes, Charlie is wearing shorts, but not just
normal shorts! Real baggy Bermuda style shorts. Dark blue with
a swirly pattern going on. Now the shorts, (How many times will
the word, shorts get mentioned in one paragraph!) are put to
shame by the Charlie Rose footwear. Charlie's had these for a
while and really, really likes them. The trainers are a kaleidoscope
of colours, they put the shorts (its crept in again!) to shame.
The t-shirt is actually quite cool. Oh, we also have a pair of
grey ankle socks going on? Charlie has arrived in a disguise,
you would never guess she is one of London's premier sex workers.
Well, actually, you might guess, if you sit next to us on a
train, but more of that later!

I Wonder if Charlie could secretly get some of the laws changed
in the houses of parliament? Charlie Rose is the woman, off the
Sherlock Holmes series! Alright, that is one of my fantasy's,
I'll admit it. Imagine Charlie and the actress who played, the
woman in a kinky sex session together, dear lord! I must get back
to reality, and greet Charlie on to the train.

I help Charlie board, she smiles and opens the conversation with
the best words in the world ever, bar none.

"Hiya!"

Told you it was a classic statement.

Charlie passes me her suitcase, which weighs nearly a ton!
What the hell has she got in there? Then again, she is the
first lady of sex, best not to ask! Charlie brushes past me
in the train corridor, she smells divine. Even with her wearing
the non kinky Bermuda shorts on I get aroused! This woman,
really is 'The woman', off Sherlock Holmes! I know I said I
wouldn't go on about it again, but I can't help it! I follow
Charlie up the carriage. I know what you're all thinking, this
is an excuse to look at her pert bottom? Very astute of everybody,
you are all correct. Hmm? That means a lot of UK men know what
I'm like, also Europe and America as the stories get read there
as well? Oh well!

Right, so we get to the seats after I store Charlie's case
in the luggage area. For some reason we find ourselves sitting
in the buffet car. Hmm? Does this mean that Charlie is hungry?
But before we think about food there is a ritual to go through.
So firstly we have to go through the flirting via smiling, yet
saying nothing phase. This passes fairly quickly, then we move
on to sexually smirking and just doing a little bits of talking
whilst smiling even more. Charlie opens. I of course reply..

"Hi."

"How's you?"

"I'm good."

"I missed you."

"I missed you more."

"No, I missed you more."

"NO, I MISSED you even more!"

We both give up, the conversation has gone into silly mode,
even though we've not seen each other for a couple of weeks.
People are attempting to give us a wide berth on the train.
I think they fear we may just go for it there and then on the
table! Result! Apart from the fact that the practicality is not
on. Denied!

So I get my shit together and actually have a proper conversation
with Charlie. Well, I say proper conversation, as we're both in
the sex business. So, it's not quite the same as talking about
the day job in the office. I shall now regale! I open one of
our normal conversations!

"How did the event go, did you work the hotels while you were
here?"

"I did both, I was also booked to do several events as the
first lady of sex, including a few seminars and other stand
up talks on sex, and how to do/have sex properly." (Isn't it
better when the word sex, pops up too many times, compared
to the word shorts!)

Now you know why I like talking to Charlie, you get to talk
about sex all day, every day... This normally degenerates into
me wanting to tie her up, then splosh her in her lingerie.
I've been going through a trust her up naked phase recently!
Don't worry, it still includes a lot of mess....

The thing is, even though she's in her dress down clothes, I
still want to rip them all off, and go for the table option
that passing travellers were thinking about a moment ago. I am
once more suffering the power of Charlie.

Back to the story! We both have a problem, like you've not
already guessed! We can't really talk about our normal daily
lives in public places. This means, we can't really have a
conversation that goes any further than it did above. If we
could and you were sitting next to us, it might sound something
like this!

"So Charlie, did you work any clients in the hotels?"

"Let me tell you Andy, a couple of the guys were hung like
donkey's. Also, I had one guy who has seen your videos, and
read the books, etc. We sploshed in the hot tub, minus the
water of course!"

"Awesome, did you get plenty of orgasms in?"

"God, yes! You know I come from penetrative sex. I was squirting
on one punter!"

"What about you, did you film for Fancyacreamhorn.com?"

"Yeah, Holly came over and we did a couple of sets, we brought
a stud in. They started with messy blow jobs, moved onto
custard oral, nipple sucking, etc."

"Hope she worked him with a good messy hand job, Andy. Using
the twist side motion as well as straight up and down."

"She did actually Charlie, she cupped his balls at the same
time and caressed them, whilst she hand jobbed him. He was
hard as nails."

"See, I told you! Its a really good technique."

I glance out of the window for a moment as I think I see
something, but it's nothing. Charlie speaks again.

"We had a woman over, she wanted to sub. So I fisted her
for a while. She squirted all over the room. Then the other
girls who were working took her as well."

"Bet that cost her a few quid?"

"God, yeah! She runs her own business, you'd have loved it,
we fucked her in her genuine office attire."

"Fucking! Result there Charlie!"

So, as you can see, our normal day conversation, can normally
only happen in private, face to face. We don't even speak
like this on twitter, etc. Basically we'd get thrown off the
train!

I look Charlie in the eyes, she has that stare. This gaze
normally informs me she has not had enough sex during the
day. She will be on a mission on the train to sexually torment
me. Also, any other men, who she can get to fall into the
web of Charlie. That's me fucked then! Wonder if it will be
literally whilst on a virgin train? I told you the word
virgin was wrong!



Chapter 3: Secretarial Showdown and the footsie 100!

The train picked up speed, Charlie started to take off
her trainers, what was she up to? I know what you're expecting,
some smelly sock gag. Or I gagged off the socks, etc.! Well,
you'd be wrong, as Charlie has very dainty feet that aren't
whiffy at all, even after being trapped in trainers for long
periods of time!

I went on to twatter for a moment, as Sally Eds had been on,
going on about getting messy that evening. Now if you don't
know who Sally is, she's from Brighton and is a secretary. I
swap tweets with Sally about all things messy. She is really
cool as she's quite indulgent with everybody about getting
messy. Anyway, Sally starts telling the world that she fancies
a session.

"Oh, Charlie. Sally's having a messy session tonight."

"Who's Sally?"

"Sally is one of the ladies I talk to about all things messy,
she into getting sploshed as well."

"Is she a lingerie girl, or clothed?" Charlie manages to stick
her tongue out at me while talking. Which is actually some
feat? Somehow Charlie manages to speak whilst the tongue
is deployed.

Charlie tries to ask another question with her tongue still
sticking out. I start laughing. Charlie finds it funny, but gives
up as it's not working. She inquires.

"Where is she based?"

"Brighton, she lives and works down there. Sometimes if you're
lucky enough, you can spot her jogging down the sea front."

"Bet you'd like to pick her up in her running gear and throw
her in the sea, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, she's hot. I told her last week, I'd like to throw
her in her secretary outfit. Straight after work, pick her up
from the door, down to the sea front and throw her in. Blouse,
skirt, hosiery the lot. Then do it to her at least half a dozen
times. Next, if nobody was about, tear her blouse open!"

"You really are perv Andy! The poor girl would have no office
clothes left?"

"You're right actually Charlie. It would be a nightmare!"

I notice Charlie is now taking her socks off. What is the
woman up to? She'll be planning something, I can feel it in
the air! I speak again before I get mesmerised by Charlie
and her socks!

"Anyway, I put a picture on twitter of some office clothes,
I informed Sally I'd love to see her wearing them for getting
messy in. She said, yes. Then she added, with or with out
panties, Mr Ministry... I of course went for no panties.
What else could I do?"

Charlie is now leaning out of the seat, she is peering up
and down the aisle that is used traversing up and down the
carriage. What is the woman doing?

Charlie looks at me and catches me off unawares. I was going
to put the word, 'guard', but you might think the ticket
collector was walking down the aisle!

"So, Andy what was the picture, was it the, 'How dare you
digital painting?'" Charlie's voice sounds soft and sexy it
is sucking me into her web!

"Yep, it was!"

"You've written a few stories about that outfit haven't you
Andy. You've told me what you would want to do to me in
that outfit and it's rude Andy, very rude!" Charlie's voice
goes more seductive and sexual as she speaks.

"I can imagine you and Sally, in some kind of messy duel. You
have to answer questions whilst handcuffed together and if you
get the answers wrong, you both get gunged, pied and sexually
dismantled!"

Now at this point, I really should have been paying more
attention as Charlie's gone into sexual mode. But, I was
getting more than a bit carried away with the office fantasy!

"Tell me more Andy, I want to hear all about it." Charlie's
voice sounds seriously feminine now. It's drawing me in,
I've had it, and I know it.

"Well, it starts off with you and Sally pristine and clean,
hair, make up are perfect."

Before Charlie speaks, I find that one of her feet are lodged
in my crotch. Her toes are on the attack. Major Tom is under
siege! Her tootsie's are attempting to wake the Major up and
then work his shaft.

"Tell me more Andy, I want to hear everything. All the messy
details, make us both cum like office sluts, Andy!" Charlie
leans forward and whispers this sentence to avoid sexual
uproar in the carriage!

That's it, Charlie has now set off my filming endorphin's!
Charlie's use of mild sexual profanity is enough to get me
hard, very hard! Meanwhile, her foot is attempting to unzip
my fly.

Right, I'm going to tell the story no matter what she does!

"Cough! So, you and Sally. Get asked a JOINT question, you
BOTH get it WRONG, I then pie YOU!"

"Your voice keeps getting loud Andy, why is that?" Charlie
leans over the table on the train. Even though she's wearing
a slightly baggy t-shirt my eyes are drawn to her bust!

I'm about to speak, but Charlie goes first.

"Come on Andy, tell me all about it, or I'll make you cum on
the train!" Heads turn in the carriage as Charlie did not
lower her voice!

"Sally gets the first question wrong, so I slap a couple of
pie sandwiches in her face and her hair. Then I tip a litre of
custard down her bra less cleavage." My voice wobbles somewhat,
more heads turn in the compartment!

"Is she wearing a cream blouse Andy? That will go see through
you kinky devil." Charlies voice has a hint of taunting in it.

"Yes, she is, and thenI GO TO, OH DEAR LORD, CHARLIE *gasp*,
you BITCH!"

Charlie has got her foot into my briefs and pulled the front
down with her toes. To be honest, it's a masterpiece of work
whilst the train is doing 100mph. Gives a whole new meaning
to the footsie 100! Her middle toes are now playing with the
top of my shaft. Mentally she's dragging me all over the
buffet car!

I attempt to regain composure and carry on with the fantasy!

"You get it worse, for being a bad bitch. The kind of secretary
Who never finishes her work, she always sneaks off to do her
hair and makeup. That's why you need to be tied and pied, and
have your blouse ripped open. *Gasp, gasp!" My voice goes up
several octaves after delivering the hair and make up comment!

A couple walks down the aisle past us to get some food. How
they don't notice Charlie sexually tormenting me, I'll never
know?

Charlie tries to rank up the fantasy, even further.

"Would you grope me in public in that outfit, you know rubbing
my breasts in the public domain, like in those humiliation
videos you watch on the internet?"

"You would know, you watch them with me!"

"Like this Andy? NOW!"

Charlie grabs my right hand drags it over the table. She plonks
my hand straight on to her left breast.

"Cum on Andy, Cum now!" She whispers across the table. Meanwhile,
below the table her foot goes into overdrive.

I think you're having it Charlie Rose. I'm just about to grope
her left breast in the carriage. When I think the couple that
walked past are going to turn round so I pull away.

Charlie goes for it with her foot, she really is attempting
to make me orgasm on the train. If I'm not careful I literally
will be fucked!

I attempt to restart the story, but we're well past that stage
now. I really need to avoid Charlie bringing me off on the
train. Dirty minx! I know this much, she's having it when we do
the radio show. If they give me the chance, I'll sexually
dismantle her live on air.

I'm in luck Charlie goes into a rest phase. So I need to get
revenge.


Chapter four: It's my turn!

Ok, it's my turn, my turn! I slide off my trainers. There's
no way the socks are coming off, that's way to much aggro!
Charlie is tinkering with her phone, I think she's on twatter,
telling the world to vote Charlie, or something like that?

Time to attack the Bermuda shorts. I wonder if I can get a
foot up each legs of Charlie's shorts? Let's find out.

I think I'll go for in the inside of each leg. Then I can
go straight for the crotch. Plus I get to slide my feet up
against her soft legs. Maybe get my socks inside her knicker
line and give her a quick thorough masturbating with a toe!
It'a service I provide!

Anyway, I'm in luck, I somehow manage to position my left
leg in front of Charlie's right lap. She is still engrossed
with twitter ala twatter, so I've got half a chance.

Slow or fast? I think fast is the way to go, straight up
the drainpipe! Should I really compare Charlie's leg a drain
pipe? I think she'll slap me for that one!

So, I go for it. My left foot, sock and all! I Manage to
enter the inner domain of Charlie Rose's Bermuda shorts.

It's funny to watch the split second it takes Charlie to work
out, that I've somehow managed to invade the inside of her
Bermuda shorts. There is a moment where Charlie's face is a
picture. She cannot believe it. But, she is getting use to
the sneak attacks now. She rallies a lot quicker these days.
So I don't get it all my own way.

"Oh I see Andy, your going for a counter attack, well I've not
finished with you yet!"

Charlie's gets both of her feet and rams them into Major Tom's
penthouse! Well I'm buggered with my right leg as Charlie has
got both of her legs in my crotch.

My left leg is up for the job, it manages to break the inner
defence's of Charlie's knicker line! Wey hey! It's going to
have to be a job for the big toe and his best mate. I arrive
at the car park and position my vehicle, if you get my drift!

But, I'm struggling Charlie has nearly got me, she going for
a double foot finish. She's done these before and does them on
clients. Trust me, if you book Charlie get a foot job! it's
fecking awesome....

Suddenly, out of nowhere Charlie gives. This is funny, as I
think she was about to pull the face. What is the face I hear
you ask? Normally Charlie pulls a little face before starting
to cum, it's normally a sign if I can play or not. Nothing
worse than flirting and playing in somewhere like Asda, then
accidentally finishing the person off. Going to the tills to
pay can be an experience, I can tell you! She must have decided
she cannot risk it on the train, or Charlie is saving herself
for the radio show. By the time we get there, the whole train
will be at.

Charlie gets up, and starts to move towards the buffet area.
Ha ha ha! I watch her bottom as walks down the aisle. she is
moving a bit odd! I must have got further into the job than I
thought...

I recover by gazing out of the window. Charlie is talking to
the man behind the buffet counter. As he turns round to brew
the tea for her, he suffers the power of Charlie and drops
the brew all over floor. I've got use to this now. It will be
Charlie's hormones they will be wafting round the carriage, in
a minute everybody will be having sex! Total strangers, they'll
all be at it like rampant rabbits. If we're lucky two women
might have a bi moment. Though things can go a bit awry when
Charlie's hormones projects around the room. Remember what
happened at the Wright Stuff! Charlie blurting things out to
Mr Wright... Dear lord....

The man behind the buffet counter regains his composure
and finally makes Charlie a brew, and a cheese sandwich. This
is actually fresh, if it was for the rest of us, it would have
been on stale bread, etc. Again, he is suffering the power of
Charlie, only Charlie could make this happen. Imagine what
would have happened if she had won that bi-election? The house
of commons would have deteriorated into a building full of
perverted men seeing dominatrix's. Oh, hang on? It already has!

Charlie wanders back to the seating, god she looks hot in her
dress down attire. I get a sudden urge to want to go for it on
the table, just throw Charlie on there and go for it in front
of everybody! I control myself, it would not go down well whilst
Charlie is trying to have a brew!

Ok, put your hands up if you ever had a brew on the side of
the bed whilst having sex... I can honestly say I never have.
Also, you never want one of my brews they are, really, really
bad. Ask Pete the camera, I brewed up this year in Blackpool
when we got rained out the rallying. He was lucky to survive!


Chapter Five: The sex workers train opera.

The train makes it as far as York, myself and Charlie manage
to keep our composure and don't cause a riot in the buffet car.
Charlie witters on about helping her to do the admin for the
first lady of sex web site. I agree otherwise I'll never hear
the end of it. I'll suffer the power of Charlie in a bad way!

"Are you going to ask me about rehearsals?"

I pretend to have no idea what is going on.

"Why, what are you doing?"

"I'm bonding, with other bondage babes!"

I get giddy again, it's actually a really good answer from
Charlie, as I thought she would have given up with the sex
workers opera chat. After I got way too carried away with the
bondage fantasy earlier on. But no, she is armed and dangerous!
I obviously need to take her on in some mental sparring. I
prepare for more close quarter combat, in the domain of
Charlie!

"So Charlie Farley. Are there any pies in the sex workers
opera. If not, why not?" This will flummoxes her...

"Yes, there are Andy, I've had some written in special, just
for you."

For a moment I wonder, its the kind of thing Charlie might
do in a rehearsal if I managed to pop over. Though things
normally don't allow, with shoots and promo work, etc.

Can you imagine if the audience suffers the power of Charlie,
God only knows what will start happening in the stalls? Jesus,
don't turn on the house lights!

(See, it's happening again, sex is creeping into the story,
it's getting worse. Religion has now started to rear its head
as well!)

Now Charlie can sing, she doesn't go on about it a lot, but
she is very, very good. This year she has had some coaching
from Heavy D, as she's got ready for the show. I know I tease
Charlie a lot, but she is really passionate about this. I
decide to see if I can get her to sing on the train.

"Bet you wouldn't sing the dom song on the train!"

"Who wouldn't, me?"

"Yep, you! I bet my pants that you will not sing the dom
song, and you have to sing it properly. This means really
belting it out so everybody in the carriage can hear you."

"They might know the words and join in, then you'd be knackered
wouldn't you. The entire carriage will verbally dom you."
Charlie smiles as she thinks she has the upper hand.

I think will she, or won't she? Let's find out. So I start
to sing the song.

"Stand up, sit down girl, you'll....."

Charlie stops the onslaught, as it is that. Really, it's that
bad! I was that dire at singing at school, the teacher
answered the question with one word, that word was, no! No
other words ever followed!

In fact, I don't think they ever let me sing again. Though
the birds did stop falling from the sky, so it was not a bad
thing!

"So you want me to sing, then Andy?"

I sit Back in the seat in the carriage and try to act all
cool about the situation.

"There is no way Charlotte your going to do it!"

I've gone for the real name, that will make her think twice!
Charlie looks round the carriage, she takes a moment, then
clears her throat and fills her lungs with air. Then she belts
out the first verse of the dom song.

Her voice booms round the buffet car in fine feminine form.
Boy does she turn heads. Ready? The words to the first verse
are really cool, I have to say.

"Stand up, sit down boy, you'll do as I say. You wanna be free
boy, so come here and pay. You worship my feet boy, be my
ashtray! So how can you tell me, I've lost my way!"

The carriage breaks out into a round of applause, I mean
really loud. Charlie has done everybody proud. I don't tell
Charlie, but I'm really chuffed for her. She's put a lot of
time and effort in it. So she deserves the recognition for
it.

Charlie goes slightly red, as the applause is genuine and
it's affected her. I attack her again with my feet, whilst I
have the moment.

"You sod.." Charlie giggles from her seat.

I'm in hysterics laughing at Charlie as she wriggles round
in her chair.

Several people ask Charlie if she is a singer, she replies
no. Now this goes back to what we were talking about earlier.
We can't go round telling everybody we're in the sex business,
as the conversation goes flat on the spot. So Charlie tells
the interested folks she is a teacher. Well, she is to a point,
only Charlie teaches everybody about sex. Including hands
on demonstrations!

"Oh, guess what!" Charlie announces in a high pitched voice
after the questions have died down.

"What?"

"I'm going on Good morning on, ITV."

"God, no! After what happened on The Wright Stuff, how did
you manage to wangle that?"

"The sex workers, opera. They want to interview me about it."

"That show has Holly Willoughby on it, with Philip Schofield
doesn't it?

"Yes, why? Don't tell me you've met them, or something like
along the way.."

"No, no. Word round the campfire is, Holly Willoughby is a
splosher!"

Charlie starts reeling about in her chair laughing.

"Where did you hear that?" Charlie smirks as she speaks.

"She use to present the Ministry of Mayhem. Somebody interviewed
her, and she let slip that she enjoyed the messy stuff a bit
to much, if you get my drift."

"No?"

"Yeah it was floating round the forum boards for a while but
nobody could ever prove anything. She does need a good sploshing
though, nice bit of tied and pied would not go down a miss!"

"I'd bet you'd have her wearing the, How dare you office
attire, wouldn't you Andy. That nice cream blouse going all
see through." Charlie smirks for a second time...

"Well I've got news for you Mrs smirky pants!"

"Go on, I'm all pies, *giggle* I mean ears!"

"You know that outfit that you keep winding me up about, from
the, how dare you picture. I've got it in your size, blouse,
skirt, lingerie the lot. YOU are going to wear it for the
radio show. I'm going to totally dismantle you sexually on
that show Charlie. You're going to turn into a submissive
gibbering sexual wreck!"

I point to a bag in the luggage rack. Charlie looks at me,
she not quite sure? Then it sinks in, I have purchased it!
What else have I organised for when we arrive?

I also feel quite smug for a moment as the announcement
appears to have been timed well, as I'm still wearing my pants
after Charlie sang the dom song. Later it would come to pass
that Charlie had other ideas!


Chapter Six. Radio gag, gag?

The train arrives into London Euston, the rest of the journey
had been uneventful. Charlie had bumped into some people she
knew from one of her sex protests, between them they set the
world to rights. I was planning my Charlie assault. I was
attempting to find a way to get the London lads in on the act.
If they could text into the show it would be on. If you have
to ring in I'd be knackered, as Charlie met everybody once
we vacated the Wright Stuff studio. Also, Charlie has a thing
for basque's. Not that I'm complaining, as she looks utterly
hot in them, I've ordered some fluorescent gunge. I feel that
several litres of this goo in a warm state, need to be poured
inside Charlie's outfit. She's never been gunged like this.
She might go to pieces and start subbing, that would be well
funny, alongside extremely sexy.

We vacate the train, I get flashbacks to my earlier visit.
Where myself and Charlie had our little accident in the
grounds of Euston Station! Once we get Charlie's super heavy
case off the train, what is in this thing? We hail a cab and
head over to the radio station. Charlie starts getting all
giddy, as she's going to cop for all the mess live on air.

Luckily the cab ride had no unforeseen disasters involved,
we arrive at the radio station in one piece. Once inside and
everybody has done the rounds of the meets and greets. We
get to peek our heads round the door of the studio.

The room is split into two areas, on the right hand side of
the location is all the equipment for hosting the show. On
the left side is a huge tarped up area with a chair in the
middle. There is also a table in one corner, this would
shortly be filled with ammunition, sorry I mean custard!

I need a plan to keep Charlie silent as soon as people start
phoning in and requesting items. She'll really get into it,
as she's hosted her own radio show before. So what I've done
is bring a gag with me. It's quite a dainty little thing in
the shape of a love heart... Ahhh.. If Charlie doesn't behave
I'll tie her to the chair and gag her. God, she'll get so
cross with me, as she won't be able to talk live on air. Nerp!
Rasp! Charlie.

Charlie raids the bags and finds the, 'How dare you', outfit.
She dashes off somewhere to get changed. I have to say, I am
looking forward to seeing her wearing it, alongside her
wearing all the stuff I'm about to pour and throw over her!

I meet the radio presenter and shake hands, etc. He goes
through with me what can and can't be done when we are live.
The last thing I want to do is get us taken off the air or
shut down. Charlie knows she has to be well behaved as she's
done presenting before.

All the goodies get brought out of cupboards from the
hallway. Dear lord! There must be at least twenty litres of
custard. I note some cheese sauce! It has to be done, it's
going in her knickers, cheesy fanny time! She'll probably
bop me for it, but it will be funny. There is a lot of
Hershey's chocolate syrup. Hmm? Down the inside of the
cleavage department! There are quite a few flan bases, so
I reckon if I can wangle it, pie sandwiches and some pie
sitting through the skirt, then get the office clothing off
and sit her in a pie whilst in her lingerie. That would go
down well with everybody!

I start thinking about what Charlie will look like in the
outfit, I lose the plot for a moment. Then I come back
down to earth with a bump, I realise I will have to behave.
No sneaky sex play then... Don't be silly, of course there
will be, it's me your talking to. I'll have to strip Charlie
down to her lingerie. This is what they want! This is why
the masses get out of bed on a Monday morning!

A member of staff pops their head round the door and offers
to mix some gunge for me. I ask for three buckets, that
should do the job. I ask them to mix it hot, so it will cool
down and be warm when I dump it, Sorry! I mean pour it over
Charlie, when I get my way, I'll slide it into her lingerie,
then see if it affects her the way I hope it will. I have
also brought a sly, small pink vibrator. If all else fails,
I'll attempt to lodge it in her knickers!


Chapter Seven: This is what they want!

Charlie enters the room in the, 'How dare you outfit'. God,
I nearly go to pieces, she looks divine. She smells superb.
I'm not sure which perfume she has put on, add that to the
Charlie Rose hormones and we're in dangerous territory.
People ringing in, will go to pieces and start sploshing
themselves and anybody else they can get hold of! Any couples
who phone in will suffer the power of Charlie, they'll
suddenly find themselves wanting to have intercourse. Quite
possibly with the first lady of sex!

I gesture for Charlie to sit down, she says nothing, she
takes to the chair. I watch as Charlie eyes up all the mess
that is available, I can see her brain working. There is no
way I'm getting out of this scott free!

The show goes live on air, the DJ introduces us both, Charlie
says hello to all the listeners. We get told there will be
a short segment about something non wet and messy, then the
lines will open for the dismantling, Sorry! I mean sploshing
of Charlie.

I dash round like a man possessed opening things. Cartons of
custard get opened, here, there and everywhere! Charlie is
having a good time sitting there in her regal outfit, making
me do all the work!

The show moves on to talking about sploshing, Charlie get's
introduced as the first lady of sex. She starts chatting about
her latest projects, I'm tempted to pie her but behave! I get
asked a few questions about the websites, etc. I respond to
the best of my ability, which is not much when Charlie is in
the same room!

The DJ reads out the first request. Can we give Charlie a pie
sandwich!

I think, Result! Good way to start.

I waste no time, in true Blue Peter style I had made a few
earlier! SPLODGE! I engulf Charlie's frizzy hair in pie, it
drips down either shoulder and some dribbles over her left
breast. Being a perv I check!

Charlie starts giggling in the chair and points her middle
finger from her left hand, to tell me I'm having it at some
point! While I get a chance I inspect Charlie's blouse. I knew
it! The kinky bitch has got a basque on underneath! It's cream
colour as well. I might be able to make it go transparent!
Let's try....

More emails start to flow in! Flow is the optimum word here.
Somebody asks for a litre of custard down the cleavage.. Would
be my pleasure.. I waste no time in tipping a full carton
inside the front of Charlie's blouse, it flows like a river
over the front of her lingerie. I want to rip the blouse open
there and then, but I behave.!

Custard is now dripping out of the bottom of the cream blouse.
It's pooling in the lap of the pencil skirt. Just as the DJ is
about to ask Charlie if she enjoy's certain things. I tip some
cold chocolate yazoo down Charlie's back. She responds with.

"DEAR LORD, that's cold. You SOD Andy!"

I start laughing, this is a mistake as Charlie declares war
on me. She manages to locate a rogue carton of custard, she
pulls open the front of my pants and dumps the lot in there.
Most of it runs down my right leg. Which is an experience!

"Charlie behave or your having it!" I declare live on air.

Charlie goes into play mode and sticks her tongue out. I
move in behind her, and pull a blinder. I cuff Charlie to the
chair! Oh boy, is there a lot of wriggling! Charlie refuses to
surrender as it's not in her nature.

I step back and taunt Charlie, this is done by slowly mixing
a bucket of disgusting mess. Two litres of custard, some yazoo.
Half a can of whipped cream, and some orange gunge. I point at
Charlie's breasts.

"Don't you dare Andy. This outfit is staying clean!" Charlie
ends the indirect threat by sticking her tongue at me!

The DJ goes on air, to tell the masses that Charlie may well
cop for it. The lines light up with people ringing in to
hopefully tell me to do it.

Sure enough, there is a huge concentration of randy London
men, who want me to properly dismantle Charlie, with as much
mess as possible. Well, what else can I do!

I step back and lift the bucket. I draw it back and then hurl
the contents at Charlie's breasts.

There is a squeal from Charlie as she watches the contents
fly through the air her direction. She pulls on her cuffs but
can go nowhere!

SPLOSH! Touchdown, it a good shot. Charlie is drenched all
down her breasts and stomach, her left sleeve is now
transparent along with most of the front of her blouse! I
waste no time, I step in with a bucket of gunge and engulf
Charlie's pristine hair in it... Orange goo, cascades down
Charlie like a second skin.

For a moment it makes me want to play at Dom, brat. Charlie
brats and I have a good time, giving Charlie a super earth
shattering experience!

I have to behave, or we'll get thrown out of the studio!

The DJ goes into meltdown, over how Charlie has gone from
pristine to a tad wrecked in a matter of seconds. Charlie
announces.

"As soon as I get out of this Chair Andy, you're having it!"

Hmm? Thought Charlie might do this, so I step over to the
chair, and produce a present, yep, it's the love heart gag!
Charlie goes bratty on me and turns her head away. Well,
actually, it's towards the Dj. He gets to witness me gagging
Charlie...

Yep, Charlie has done it again. She has mesmerised the poor
guy with the power of Charlie. He is just sitting in his
chair, with his mouth open, drooling slightly.

Charlie continues to half smile at him through the gag. I
waste no time and pie Charlie in the face. More custard
splatters all over her adorable features. The guy is now
frozen in his chair. I think mentally we have swapped places!
Charlie continues to work him, just by staring at him! Even
I have to admit, she's good!

After a couple of moments he recovers and realises he has a
show to do. Charlie looks at me and tries to speak, but can't.
I find this very funny and start pointing at Charlie, so she
shakes her frizzy hair and splatters me in custard!

"Right, Mizz Rose, you're getting your skirt filled!" I declare.

I grab Charlies legs and lift them higher than her bum, that
is firmly on the chair seat. With my left hand, I grab a carton
of custard, my right arm lifts her legs slightly higher.

There are some submissive mumbles from Charlie, that sound
something like, no please, I'll be a good girl!

That time has passed Mizz Rose, time for soggy knickers! I
tip the full carton down the middle of Charlies legs, she
tries to squirm her way out of it. So I apply a little more
pressure on her dainty ankles. She is going nowhere fast. The
custard goes past the hem of the skirt, it vanishes and
continues its journey until it reaches the desired location!
Just to be sure I tip another carton in there as well.

I lift up the hem of Charlie's skirt with my free hand. Yep,
Charlie has very soggy yellow custard swamped knickers! I
find myself peering in there for some time? I glance at Charlie
she is now giving me the look she gave the DJ. For a moment I
succumb to the Power of Charlie!

I feel that time has come for Charlie's blouse to become a
sodden mess. The Dj is nattering on about people phoning and
texting in. I have other idea's. Charlie's, 'How Dare you
Blouse' must meet its maker. So I think a litre of Rola Cola
is in order. I open the bottle. Charlie hears the plastic
container fizzing. For the record, it's really expensive, it
cost 18p from Tesco! I tip the lot of Charlie's head. She in
drenched in a stream of cheap cola. It flows off everywhere,
down her hair, off her face, all down her blouse arms.
Everything is turned transparent from the tidal wave of sugar
induced drink. Jamie Oliver would go into meltdown, over the
amount of cola being used!

I stand back and check the situation out, yep Charlie's
blouse in now clinging to her basque good and proper. Charlie
is giggling from within the gag. This calls for another
custard pie to the face. I really load the pie up with cream
and custard. Charlie wriggles in the chair, but cannot go
anywhere. She must face her custard pie destiny.

Charlie causes havoc within the studio, she shakes her hair
for a second time, sending custard and cola spraying all over
the studio. The DJ takes cover, I cannot, so I have to take
the brunt of the Charlie Rose attack!

My t-shirt and pants are splattered in custard. Right, this
calls for some clothes dismantling!

I walk over to Charlie, she pushes herself back in the chair.
She attempts to play say no! I don't care. I grab hold of
her blouse and tear it open in one manly movement! Or I got
lucky? Charlie gasps through her gag of torment. I start
giggling, yep, I'm getting on one, as clothes ripping is now
involved.

The right sleeve of the blouse is next, that gets torn in
several places. The consensual humiliation is now in full
flow. Charlie knows I've got carried away, she seizes the
moment and puts one of her custard covered feet up my butt
crack! I respond in a rather high pitched voice, with!

"Oh, you naughty girl Charlie."

I grab a carton of custard, I now proceed to pull open the
cups on Charlie's basque and add the liquid to the already
ample cleavage that is available. I behave as we're at the
radio station, otherwise my hands would be in there, giving
her pert breasts a serious massage with the custard!

Charlie's foot attacks my crotch. The DJ is going into
meltdown, with calls, text messages and the like. He is
also, having a hard time, in more ways than one! I think
Charlie's hormones are finishing him off.

I focus on the task at hand, proper messy submission of
Mizz Rose. I lean forward to get to the zip on Charlies
skirt, bit of a mistake as Charlies tries to lean forward
and my t-shirt gets full of custard cream and gunge.
Charlie is in raptures through her gag. I give her the look!
Charlie knows she's for it now. Major teasing time.

The zip gets undone, the skirt gets slid off. Charlie
finds her ankles being tied to the chair. Now she's had it,
she cannot go anywhere!

Pasta sauce is the order of the day, down the back of the
lingerie, I also undo some of the eyes and hooks, so if Charlie
wriggles around too much, she'll expose her own breasts. I
get a sneaky glimpse of a stiff nipple as I pass by!

I pound Charlie's crotch through her sodden knickers with
not one pie, but three! Each one gets rubbed into her panties
with more vigour, to the point that I'm actually nearly
masturbating Charlie by mistake..!.

The DJ can no longer cope, come to that neither can I! Major
Tom is awake and wants to go on the rampage, due to the fact
he keeps eyeing up Charlie tied to a chair covered in several
gallons of desert items... For a laugh, I pull Charlie's gag
down round her neck, so she can speak

"Come on do it. Get them round my ankles and pie my power
pussy!" Charlie blurts.

The DJ thanks God on high that we are now past the water
shed, he can see where it's heading. He also appears to be
travelling there. If he's not already arrived!

I waste no time, Charlie doesn't need to ask twice. I
grab hold of her panties, in a second they are down round her
ankles. Several pies pound her vagina, I rub each one in
with a fair amount of vigour, Charlie starts reeling about
in the chair, they are having the desired effect.

I give it a moment, then pie Charlie in the crotch yet again. I
notice she appears to be going hypersensitive. Time for some
gunge. This will drive her nuts...

Now before I explain what happens to Charlie, ladies if you
are reading this, get your partner to get some warm gunge. Then
ask them to pour it all over your hypersensitive vagina, next
prepare to retrieve your brain from the ceiling!

I get a jug full of warm yellow gunge, remember Charlie cannot
defend herself as she is cuffed by her wrists to the back of the
chair. Her ankles are tied to the legs of the seat.

I slowly pour the slime from on high. Charlie starts to mumble.

"No, Andy, no, stop it.. Please I'll ....."

My aim is spot on, a slow stream of warm goo goes in between
Charlies legs, all over the desired parts. I was reaching the
parts that Carling could not. Charlie's head lowered I knew
she was going to orgasm. I poured more slippery substance
directly over her pelvis from on high, as the warm goo
splattered all over her parts, Charlie mentally went... She
blurted.

"Yes, please now.. God, no, yes.. All of it now.."

Or something like that. The DJ for some reason had to dash off
to be elsewhere!

Charlie's head went limp as she was having a full body, can't
move let alone think orgasm! I lightly pulled the back of her hair
towards me, so I could see Charlie's face. We both smiled at
each other...

I laughed and said...

"Bad girl Charlie.."

After several minutes of letting Charlie recover I untied her and
she went off to shower for some time! The DJ declared the show
an outstanding success. Then we had to fix all the mess that had
gone everywhere.... This time Offcom did not complain. After
we left I remembered I never used the small pink vibrator... Boo!