) and ideally somewhere where they could have an input in the design.On the grapevine they had heard about a farmer not far away who they knew vaguely and who was converting one of his old barns into a new modern building, so they contacted him .
He played cricket for his village and had been ( although Linda did not remember this) , at their cricket club auction when she had been the slave for an evening and after she had been carried off to the back room, he had made a successful bid for the pink handcuffs Linda had worn
.He was only halfway through the work so he was agreeable to them coming over and looking at the property and talking about possibilities for the internal layout.
They agreed a day for a visit.
Unfortunately about two days before they were due to go, David contracted a very heavy cold and was stuck in bed as it was November and had been very cold and wet.
“We can’t miss this opportunity” said Linda “I will go along anyway and see what sort of things he could do for us. I know what we are looking for so if you trust me I am happy to go on my own.”
David gave a weak grin “You know better than I what we need “ he said “just don’t do anything silly like making him an offer.”
So on the following Tuesday Linda drove to meet the farmer and after 10minutes arrived at the farm.
She parked her car at the head of the track to the main yard and as she did so the farmer appeared.
He recognised her straight away
but, as she showed no sign of recognising him, decided not to say anything. “You must be Linda” he said “pleased to meet you. My name is Jim and these are my boys Chris, Eric and Ron.” She shook hands with all of them. Jim was in his late forties and his boys looked to range from late teens to mid twenties. “My wife passed away two years ago now so it is just me and the boys left, anyway let’s get on.”
The work on the barn had only started a few weeks ago and although he had planning permission for access from the main road to what would be the new plot, it was only presently accessible via the farmyard.
As they were walking along the track to the yard Jim had been thinking about that evening and he decided that perhaps Linda could be unwittingly drawn into putting on a show for him and his boys and perhaps the workmen as well
. He started to formulate a plan and as they were walking along he took the opportunity to slow down with his sons one at a time and tell them.They got to the farmhouse yard and started to cross. As it was November and was cold and had been very wet the mud got deeper and colder as they walked on. Linda was wearing jeans and a thick woollen roll neck jumper which kept her very warm but had on high heel shoes , totally impractical for walking in mud.
Ron saw that she was struggling in her shoes and said “Hold on I will get you a pair of wellies from the house and soon returned with them. Unfortunately they were about 4 sizes too big but Linda put them on gratefully.
Now the problem with wellie boots is that they often stick in the mud and this is made worse if they are too big. They were in a particularly muddy part of the yard when Linda took a step and her foot came out of her boot. Balancing on one leg she tried to put her foot back in but teetered and.....toppled over into a freezing cold muddy puddle, splat!
She fell/sat down in to the puddle and as she tried to get up slipped. rolled over and covered herself in the thick mess. The ice cold water soaked her jeans and through to her bottom making her panties wet and cold as well
. Her jumper being thick wool acted as a giant sponge and became heavy with water and clingy mud.At first the men stood looking at her covered in mucky water before going over to help her up. The heavy woollen jumper was sodden and now even heavier and her jeans were soaking.
”Do you want to put on a pair of dungarees?” said Jim “I am sure we can find you some .”
“No thanks “ said Linda wiping mud from her face.
Just then one of the boys, Eric (who seemed to have disappeared for a minute or so), shouted “Look out Caesars loose” and all heads including Linda’s turned towards the direction he was pointing and there trotting towards them and only about 20 yards away was Caesar, a bull!
“You had better take cover” said Jim “he don’t take to strangers.” and with that the three boys lifted Linda off of her feet and bodily threw her over a (conveniently) nearby wall.
Unfortunately for Linda it was the pigsty and she landed face down in thick pig slurry and skidded along stopping only when her face came into contact with a heap of what could best be called muck! She then had the indignity of an inquisitive pig pushing her back with its snout so her head was pushed even further into the mess
After what seemed like ages but was in fact only about 30 seconds she felt hands hauling her up.
“OK he’s been put back” said Jim “my, you are a mess sorry about that but it seemed the safest thing to do!”
Linda stood up and wiped some of the slurry out of her eyes. Looking down at herself, everything was covered in mud and pig slurry. Her hair and head was plastered in the stuff, it was in her ears and mouth and she stank. She felt like crying!
“Are you sure you don’t want those overalls now?” asked Jim and this time she nodded her head.
He sent Chris into the house to get them and turning to Linda said “You had better get straight out of those “, with a twinkle in his eye
.“What, here?” she said and Jim nodded “The sooner the better” he added “and besides I don’t want those stinking things in the house.”
So she turned her back on Jim and the other two boys and began pulling her jumper over head , flinging it in disgust in the mud. Next she undid her jeans and having said “No peeking!” pulled them down. She probably guessed that the “no peeking” request would be ignored
and it was, with Jim and the two boys Eric and Ron having a quick look at her bottom and her filthy, sodden bikini brief panties as she stepped out of her jeans. She put on the overalls which Chris brought her and stepped back into the wellies which they had brought over. Her feet which had got very mucky, squelched in the boots.
“Not far to go now” said Jim “that is if you still want to continue?”
“That is what I have come for!” she spluttered in reply in between spitting out mouthfuls of slurry.
As they approached the barn she could see there was a workman spraying the outside of the timber cladding with what looked like a high pressure hose.
“What is he doing?” she asked. “He is putting an external weather cladding on“ said Chris ”it’s like a cross between creosote and a thin bitumen, awful sticky smelly stuff and not good for you. If he gets any on his hands or any other skin he has to rinse it off straight away and then give himself a good scrub.
(Yes I know you know whats coming)
The five of them approached the barn and Jim shouted out (the workman had ear muffs on as it was so cold) “Hello there!”
The guy holding the spray jumped and swung round, he was so startled he did not remember to take his finger off the trigger of the sprayer and Linda, who was the nearest of the group the rest having ducked, received the full blast of the high powered spray.
Before she could move her face was covered and where so much liquid was being propelled out of the gun, it had run down the inside of the overalls onto her chest. Whatsmore the force was so powerful that it knocked her over to land once more in an icy puddle. This time she just sat and bawled.
“Oh good grief “ said Jim “we must do something quick . Take her inside boys I think there is water and a hose in there and get her stripped off as quickly as you can.”
So Linda was carried into the barn still sobbing.
(Part two shortly)