Is Slapstick Funny? (Part Two)

[Slapstickman]

Louisa knew she was being set up, but wasn’t about to blow her big chance. If she stormed off set now, her screen time would come to an abrupt end and it was unlikely she’d be asked back. A lot of actresses and personalities she admired had done physical comedy before. This was live television and she knew she had to continue, whatever was thrown at her – literally!

Here's the conclusion.....................

“Well Hannah” she continued, her face dripping custard onto her white dress as she spoke “I’m sure some of the less mature and sophisticated members of the audience found it amusing to see me get pied, but the majority will have been disappointed, like me, that intelligent dialogue and debate appear once again to have been sacrificed for cheap laughs”.

“Cheap laughs, Oliver; Louisa has a point surely. She comes on TV to take part in a debate and ends up with a face full of custard pie”

“Exactly” Louisa chipped in “I’ve come here for an honest and frank debate, the least you can do is let me have that debate”

“Absolutely” Hannah agreed “she wants to take part in the debate, she should be allowed to debate these issues. Olly, I really think you should let her have it and I think the audience thinks you should let her have it too”

The audience cheered as Olly picked up two pies and comically sandwiched Louisa’s head with them. Louisa felt herself going temporarily deaf as the custard pies wrapped round her entire head, completely covering her hair and face in thick custard. It dripped and dribbled over her shoulders and down her back and into her cleavage. These were messy custard pies, Louisa thought as they slowly slid off her face, down her chest and into her lap.

“Well Louisa, he certainly did let you have it” Hannah grinned.

“Hannah” Louisa spluttered as she wiped her eyes free of custard once again. Her dress was totally ruined. She was so glad it wasn’t her own “I really am disappointed this debate has degenerated into total farce. I’ve come here for a grown up debate, and I’ve been subjected to a childish barrage of abuse for the pleasure of your moronic audience. It’s really not acceptable. It’s time to be adult”. Louisa was being booed now; the audience really wanted her to get it this time.

“Olly, she has a point here, surely? It’s nearly midnight our audience must want something more adult than pies in the face?”

Olly smiled agreeably and tugged forcefully at Louisa’s dress. Louisa and the audience gasped as it fell apart in front of their eyes.

Louisa knew she had a decent body, but she hadn’t ever imagined herself stripping on live TV. No wonder the production assistant was so keen she take that dress, it was rigged to fall apart. She screamed and covered her bare breasts with her hands. Louisa really wished she’d chosen to wear a bra and her choice of panties - a white thong - was also beginning to look like a mistake.

The audience cheered as she stood in front of them, nearly naked. Olly had grabbed another couple of pies and whispered to her to move her hands. Louisa did as she told and revealed her breasts to the increasingly excited audience. Olly smeared the pies over her bare boobs covering them in thick custard. Louisa felt her nipples harden as her tits were coated in pie.

The camera cut to Hannah again as the custard dripped off Louisa’s breasts over her stomach. Olly sat down in his chair again.

“Well, Louisa was that adult enough for you?” Hannah asked “what’s your reaction to this?”

Louisa was practically naked and covered in custard. One of the young women in the audience yelled “don’t let him get away with that girl”. She had a point, Louisa thought, in fact she had a very good point.

“My reaction, Hannah, is this” Louisa walked over to the trolleys and picked up a bucket of white circus slosh. She walked over to Olly and proceeded to pour it over his head.

Olly’s wig and clown costume disappeared under a deluge of thick white goo. The audience and particularly the female members of the audience, cheered as Louisa took some revenge. Olly stood up, dripping gunge. Hannah laughed heartily as Louisa grabbed a custard pie of her own.

Louisa slammed the pie square into Olly’s face. Olly reeled backwards as the thick custard splattered all over his face and down his gunge soaked clown costume. The audience cheered again. Louisa was really enjoying herself now.

Louisa noticed there was a large bucket of baked beans and picked that from the trolley next. She asked Hannah for assistance and, as Hannah opened Olly’s baggy clown trousers, Louisa poured the entire contents of the bucket down. Olly squirmed as the baked beans sloshed down the inside of his trousers and over his thighs. This wasn’t in the script and he didn’t know what had hit him. He winced as baked beans dribbled through the bottom of his trousers, over his feet.

Louisa wasn’t finished with him yet, however. She grabbed his braces and pulled them over his shoulders and down to his waist. His trousers fell to the floor, revealing a pair of bean soaked white boxers. The girls in the audience were enjoying this more and more and their screams and cheers were egging Louisa on. She grabbed another custard pie and smeared it right in his crotch, covering his boxers in yellow goo. Olly’s manhood was now becoming visible through the soaked underwear, much to the delight of some of the female members of the audience. Louisa ripped Olly’s clown shirt straight off, revealing his toned upper torso. She grabbed another pie and smeared it over his chest. Olly stood before the audience, Hannah and Louisa in just his boxer shorts and they seemed to be turning transparent with all the mess sloshed over them.

Olly wiped his eyes free of pie, adjusted his boxer shorts and walked over to Louisa. He bent her over her chair and grabbed another pie. Louisa froze in position her sexy bottom high in the air, covered by only her pie splattered white thong. Olly reached out and grabbed the tiny thong, pulling it downwards. Louisa shrieked as her thong was yanked down round her ankles, but her shrieks were louder still as Olly slapped the custard pie over her bare bottom. The custard splattered all up Louisa’s back and all down the back of her thighs as well as coating her pert buttocks in thick custard.

Milking the cheers, Louisa ran her hands sexily down her bare bum. She turned to face the audience and the cameras stark naked. Olly reappeared this time with a large bucket of cream. He threw it over Louisa’s naked body covering her from head to toe in thick white gunge. Louisa gasped as the mess splashed over her.

Louisa stood, centre stage, dripping in cream her nipples hard and her pussy dripping. She eventually snapped out of her splosh induced daze and grabbed another custard pie. She walked over to Olly and pulled his boxers straight down. It became obvious to the audience, Louisa and Hannah and the viewers at home that Olly had been quite enjoying the messy fun.

“For gods sake, cover that up” the director yelled, as if Louisa needed telling. The pie was smooshed right over Olly’s erect cock. He held onto it for dear life, using it to provide some minimal cover as custard ran down his bare thighs. With both her co-stars stark naked, Hannah knew she had to wrap up the scene and introduce the band before any more decency laws were broken. She walked to the front of the stage and talked into the camera.

“Well that’s about all the time we have left for the show this evening” she blurted out, but she could see Olly and Louisa coming for her. Before she had the chance to wrap things up further Louisa pushed a pie straight into her face. The custard splattered, not only covered Hannah’s face, it also splattered all over her dress and hair. She slowly wiped her eyes, “to play out, we’ve got music from aahhhh!”

‘Aahhh’ were not the band playing. Olly had pulled the zip on Hannah’s dress and dragged it down her sexy body until it fell to the floor round her ankles, leaving the hapless host standing in just her underwear with a face full of custard. Hannah’s humiliation was not going to end there, however. Olly skilfully unhooked her lacy black bra. Hannah’s 34D boobs were revealed for all to see. Louisa had grabbed another couple of custard pies in the meantime and approached Hannah from behind. She smeared a pie over each of Hannah’s bare breasts, covering them in thick custard. Hannah looked down despairingly at her messy breasts dripping with creamy yellow gunge, her nipples erect under a coating of sticky custard.

Hannah had totally lost the plot now, Olly, meanwhile, had grabbed a bucket of circus slosh and began to pour it slowly over Hannah’s head. Hannah squealed as she felt her nearly naked frame disappear under a deluge of creamy white gunge. Her body was totally covered in the slosh. Hannah stood at the front of the stage on live TV, covered head to toe in thick goo, in just her thong panties. She was beginning to think her glamorous job wasn’t so glamorous.

Then Hannah felt Louisa tugging at her panties. She was helpless as her pussy was slowly revealed to the cheering audience. Hannah was almost grateful when Louisa slapped a large custard pie into her crotch. Custard dribbled down Hannah’s thighs as the pie was smeared between her legs and custard was slopped all over her pussy.

The audience were delighting in Hannah getting her comeuppance so when Olly placed a huge bucket of slosh on the floor there were cheers as a now naked Hannah was pushed backwards. She landed with a splash, stark naked, legs akimbo in a bucket of yellow slosh. As she sat there Louisa picked up a bucket of custard and slowly poured it over Hannah’s head. Hannah waved a custard covered arm as she sat in the slosh and custard ran down her face, shoulders and breasts.

The band started to play and the credits rolled. Cameras kept cutting to the messy naked threesome, who began to throw the remainder of the pies and gunge over the studio audience. The cameraman seemed to particularly like a pretty, nubile young blonde in the front row who looked like she was enjoying being pelted with custard pies. The show quickly drew to a close and the three hosts were bundled off the set to shower to rapturous applause from the audience and the rest of the cast and crew.


It was mid morning when Louisa was woken from her slumber by the sound of her telephone ringing. The after party had been a pretty good one and she was extremely hung-over.

“Hi, is that Louisa”

“Yes, speaking” Louisa confirmed.

“Hi Louisa, it’s Jo from the show”

“Hey Jo” Louisa tried to muster as much enthusiasm as she could in her delicate state.

“Have you seen the news this morning?” Jo asked

“No, not yet” Louisa admitted.

“Well we’re on it” Jo informed her.

“Especially you, although parts of you were blurred out”

Louisa gasped in horror

“And Olly’s penis was also blurred out, which was a shame I thought. Anyway, the politicians are going a little bit ballistic. Calling it symptomatic of the decadent and depraved times we’re living in. Can’t wait for the Sunday Mail’s review pages tomorrow”

“Oh my gosh” Louisa exclaimed “what’s going to happen?”

“Well I got a bit of a telling off about the erection, but other than that the channel bosses are delighted” Jo giggled “last night’s ratings were average, but tonight’s repeat is going to be huge”

“Wow!” Louisa replied.

“The reason I’m calling you now is that following last night’s success, I’d like to offer you a permanent role in the show”

“That’s brilliant” Louisa screamed. She then thought about it more carefully “I won’t be stripped naked and covered in custard pies anymore though will I?” she asked.

“Of course not” Jo replied, reassuringly.

Louisa thought of that conversation, six days later whilst filming the second episode as the family size trifle was scooped out of it’s container into her white panties, covering her bare arse in creamy gunk. The rest of her nearly naked body was already dripping in the messy dessert and her face plastered.

“She didn’t lie to you” Hannah whispered as she smeared trifle over Louisa’s pussy “these aren’t custard pies”.

“I know” Louisa sighed “I know”.

[captain sensible]

I was happy to see a new story appear on this forum, and it was a good 'un! Thank you...

[Devo77]

Great story! I really liked it.

[ghilton]

Nice one to break the silence around here. I always like those setups where I'd never normally be doing this, but I can't back down now...

[flemwod22]

Excellent story, wish there was a program like this in reality. I'd watch it every week plus the repeats.