Off-Topic: But thought it funny

View · by **chantelle** » 06 Dec 2006, 14:40

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

View · by **DecadentDoll** » 06 Dec 2006, 17:37

Hahaha! excellent Chantelle put a smile on my face

View · by **Phantom** » 06 Dec 2006, 19:22

Nice one, Chantelle - as I was reading it, I was imagining it illustrated by Dr. Seuss.

Phantom

View · by **DecadentDoll** » 06 Dec 2006, 21:18

I think it's a bit more Purple Ronnie than darling Theodore, but i can see what you mean!

View · by **Richard** » 07 Dec 2006, 01:38

Great stuff Chantelle, it goes well with my feelings about Christmas:- Bah Humbug! :twisted:

View · by **DungeonMasterOne** » 07 Dec 2006, 05:43

Welcome to the Great Commercial Midwinter Festival of Greed, indeed! Nice poem.

View · by **Hayley** » 07 Dec 2006, 11:09

I think the religious people should give in! Over-consumption IS the real meaning of Christmas. That and crap on the telly.

Hayley

View · by **andy250** » 07 Dec 2006, 13:09

Hayley wrote:I think the religious people should give in! Over-consumption IS the real meaning of Christmas. That and crap on the telly.

Hayley

Didin't know you had christmas at our house, that is more a less what happens.

regards

Andy

View · by **Phantom** » 07 Dec 2006, 18:52

Ahhhh ... love it or loathe it, you've gotta love Christmas!!

I hated it for quite a while, but now I've got a bunch of nephews, nieces and two god children, I'm a big fan of the festive season ... whatever the reasons behind it. It's an enjoyable time to see my family, and I'm really really looking forward to flying to the UK two weeks from now.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Phantom

View · by **wamram** » 07 Dec 2006, 20:06

Saw it on a card a few years ago but could not remember how it went so seeing it posted here has brought a smile to my face.

Thanks Chantell,
wamram

Off-Topic: But thought it funny

Off-Topic: But thought it funny

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