Official Government Warning!

[BillShipton]

Due to the slight possibility of a strike by custard tanker drivers, the government advises all Sploshers and Wammers to panic buy Splosh! DVDs, downloads, magazines and books NOW! If you already have some, keep your collection topped up as there may be a shortage later.

The rest of you, remember, "Keep Petrol and Carry On"

David Cameron

[Trouso]

Mr Cameron,

What would you consider a safe quantity of Splosh! mechandise to store in one's own home and where is the best place to keep it?

Oh, and can custard and Splosh! magazines, for instance, be stockpiled together without risk of an ejaculation?

Thanks,

George Osbourne.

[Big Dave]

What would you consider a safe quantity of Splosh! mechandise to store in one's own home and where is the best place to keep it?

Oh, and can custard and Splosh! magazines, for instance, be stockpiled together without risk of an ejaculation?

The HSE gives the limit as a maximum of two suitable metal containers of 10 magazines and two plastic containers of an approved design, each having a maximum capacity of five litres of custard.....

[Candy Custard]

I'm panic buying kittens.

Pantry full of wam items so no worries there

Samantha Cameron

[Trouso]

What would you consider a safe quantity of Splosh! mechandise to store in one's own home and where is the best place to keep it?

Oh, and can custard and Splosh! magazines, for instance, be stockpiled together without risk of an ejaculation?

The HSE gives the limit as a maximum of two suitable metal containers of 10 magazines and two plastic containers of an approved design, each having a maximum capacity of five litres of custard.....

And the lifting must be carried out by two persons.

[BillShipton]

Of course when I suggested that people should panic buy Splosh! products I was not encouraging people in any way to start panic buying. I just meant make sure you have as many as you can possibly store before the other bastards get them. However, be warned large numbers of magazines in a garage can be inflammable. Kittens less so.

David Cameron (Still PM somehow)