The Splosh UK Forum

just out of interest...I've got a question about the bygone days when you could buy Splosh magazine in some shops...

The question is really about the word some above, i.e. why is it that in only some shops had Splosh on sale and some didn't?. I've never owned a newsagent, or even worked in one. Do newsagents a get a list of all available magazines and choose which ones to sell, or do the producers, i.e. you, try to sell them to as many as possible? or target specific shops?

If its the former, then presumably those shops that I came across that sold them (a bookshop in Edinburgh, a JET garage on the outskirts of town and a newsagent in Falkirk) were owned or operated by people who were either into Splosh or thought they could make lots of money selling it...

The newsagent in Falkirk was where I bought my first copy of Splosh (#18), and an advert in that led me to the bookshop in Edinburgh where I bought most of my subsequent Splosh material including a lot of VHS tapes. I became something of a regular at that book shop, I wonder if its still there!


The JET garage was a serendipitous discovery one day while buying petrol - I only ever saw one issue there I think - perhaps there was a change of manager or something.

anyway, just thought I would ask... interested to hear your thoughts Bill...

Hi snakescotland , the bookshop in Dundas Street is no longer open, even at the best of times it was the least inviting shop in Edinburgh allthough i must say most of the Splosh Mags( a lot) i bought were from there i also bought a few in York just outside the city walls in Nunnery Lane really off the beaten track.

yes, not the nicest looking shop in the world!.. but the guy was friendly(ish) and in the good/bad old days of either no or SLOW internet, it was a goldmine for mess lovers like me

just remembered that I once saw Hot Coffee and Sticky Buns* for sale on VHS in HMV (in Edinburgh)... how's that for mainstream!!

* or was is SammyJane on the job? I can't remember...it was definitely a Splosh! video

I didn't buy it coz I already had a copy....

Hi

First, thanks for the picture of The Newtown Paperback - I'd never seen it before! I spoke to the elderly and Frazer-from-Dad's-Army-like owner a lot on the phone but never seen the shop. It's exactly as I imagined!

As for your question you should really be asking Hayley as she worked in magazine distribution for a time but as she's otherwise engaged at the moment, here goes. To get a magazine into shops you go through a distributor who in turn gives the magazines to wholesalers who sell them into shops. The two main wholesalers in those days were Smiths and Menzies who supplied other shop chains as well as their own. They never liked Splosh! (along with lots of other magazines) because of its high cover price (one nicked meant they lost the profit on any others) and it's very niche readership. Instead when we were looking to put Splosh! in shops we had to go with one of the independant wholesalers. They supplied the smaller shops like the Jet garage, a lot of corner shops and a few news stands etc. The problem with that was if a small shop bought Splosh!, it generally bought EVERY naughty magazine in the country and we would be stuffed behind Bexhill Grannies Anal Special and the like on the top shelf with just half an inch of our cover showing. It took a brave man to search the lot looking for us. As a result we died on our arse in shops like that and all the extra copies we printed came back! One reason why we have a work unit full of magazines!

So we decided to ditch distributors and supply 20 or so shops (like Newtown Paperback, Janus, the shop in York etc) direct ourselves. They had a loyal bunch of customers who knew they could get their copies there and so gave it plenty of shelf space which in turn encouraged others (at Janus we had our own area of the shop and at one time a neon sign in the window!). This served us very well and cost considerably less than blitzing the country with mags that couldn't be seen. Occasionally specialist distributors (sex shops, comic shops etc) would take a batch too and sometimes we'd get weird requests. For instance we were one of two fetish mags sold in Tower Records (Skin Two was the other) cos apparently a well known musician (I'd better not name him) had rung them and told them to stock it!

The VHSs in HMV and Virgin is another story. Three went in Pretty Clumsy Woman, Sammy-Jane on the Job and Sticky Buns and actually did very well (though again Woolworths, Smiths etc wouldn't touch us). Pity none of these places are interested in DVDs any more.

Yes, I got my copy of Sticky Buns in HMV. It should have been fine, except I couldn't find it so I quietly asked a shop assistant. Fatal mistake! He then shouted down the entire shop (probably about 70-100 people in there) to the bloke on the desk to ask where to find "those weird kinky sex videos of people pouring custard all over themselves"! The entire shop full of customers all turned to look at him ... and me. I still sweat with the embarrassment when I think about it.

Claymore_wam wrote:Yes, I got my copy of Sticky Buns in HMV. It should have been fine, except I couldn't find it so I quietly asked a shop assistant. Fatal mistake! He then shouted down the entire shop (probably about 70-100 people in there) to the bloke on the desk to ask where to find "those weird kinky sex videos of people pouring custard all over themselves"! The entire shop full of customers all turned to look at him ... and me. I still sweat with the embarrassment when I think about it.

great story! made me laugh

thanks Bill for the explanation - really interesting to hear how it all used to work

The newsagent in Falkirk was indeed one of those kind of newsagents that has LOADS of magazines on the top shelf. In fact I think they may have actually had two top shelves! At the time my girlfriend and I used to like reading porn magazines in bed together and I had been sent out that day to get one. So I quite brazenly stood in the shop and perused all the titles. My eyes lit up when I found a magazine dedicated to mess and I was glad I had enough in my pocket to pay the massive price (compared to the others). I brought it back to the flat and sheepishly showed it to her. She thought it was a bit silly but we enjoyed reading it anyway. It was a nice way to introduce her to my fetish and as a result, we later had some fun with baby oil, custard and other substances...

btw. How did you know that Newtown paperback would be interested in Splosh?
I assume they had ordered from you in the past?

Interesting bit of Splosh distribution history there Bill I've bought stuff (mainly vidoes) from most of those outlets over the years. The shop in York was my favourite....they had a good selection of splosh stuff. Anyone know if its still there....been a few years since I was in York?

Also seen Splosh hidden away in a few unlikley places as well as the odd sex shop, tucked in with the 'Bondage Dwarves' etc

Squelch wrote:...Also seen Splosh hidden away in a few unlikley places as well as the odd sex shop, tucked in with the 'Bondage Dwarves' etc

at the risk of starting a new thread... the most bizarre title for a porn video I ever heard/saw has to be....

'Bizarre Dwarfs on Acid 2'

Like 'Bizarre Dwarfs on Acid' wasn't enough... there had to be a sequel...!

snakescotland wrote:btw. How did you know that Newtown paperback would be interested in Splosh?
I assume they had ordered from you in the past?

Janus used to supply him but they got fed up cos he refused to buy any more than three at a time! He never did buy more than three ("I don't want to get stuck with them...") but he bought a lot of threes by the end.

He also came up with an interesting theory.

"I have worked out why your magazine sells," he told me one day. "It's cos it's numbered. If a customer has No 31, 32 and 34, he has to buy 33 to fill the gap."

So nothing to do with women and custard at all.

BillShipton wrote:He also came up with an interesting theory.

"I have worked out why your magazine sells," he told me one day. "It's cos it's numbered. If a customer has No 31, 32 and 34, he has to buy 33 to fill the gap."

So nothing to do with women and custard at all.

where's the 'like' button!!!

ok, seeing as this isn't facebook, I'll say....
I like your comment Bill... that's exactly the kind of thing I reckon that guy would come out with!

The New Town Bookshop, oh man there's a blast from the past and where I first found out about, to my delight, the existence of Splosh Magazine. Used to walk past the shop every day but ordered all my copies direct from St Leonards.

Issue #22 sat in the window for months, along with dog eared paperbacks, printer paper and Prit-Stiks. The shop owner was, well, eccentric. Opened when he fancied, stock looked random. Sure I remember hearing something about him inheriting the shop and/or having no rental costs but I may be wrong.

Claymore, that sounds like a scene from a Woody Allen film I saw once. Woody was in the queue, buying a mucky mag and he hides it inside something the New York Times, furtively handing it to the guy on the till. Till man cant see the price, shouts across the shop, "HOW MUCH IS ORGASM?, YEAH, ORGASM, THIS GUY HERE WANTS TO BUY ORGASM!!",

Little old lady next in line gives him a dirty look!

Ha ha - didn't know that! Maybe the shop assistant in HMV had seen it and was waiting for someone to come in asking for something dodgy so he could do something similar!