The Splosh UK Forum

Yo-ho-ho!

From the people who brought you Johnny Dipp in Pirates of the Curried Beans, it's another muckaneering adventure.

Meet Captain Mercedes Flint, the dirtiest rascal that ever sailed the Seven Seas of Romford. Our pervy Pirate is on the look-out for a jolly roger and is prepared to search high and low for a nice Long John even if it means flooding her lovely knee boots.

But despite keeping her eye out (hence the patch!), so far the only thing moistening her gusset is the murky water of Essex.

"Avast Behind!" came the cry.

"How dare you, I think it's quite pert!" replied the cute-assed Captain as she continued her quest.

All day she ploughed through the waves - pretty dedicated of her since she didn't have a boat - but so busy was she looking for shipmates to play with, she didn't notice that she was running aground on a mud bank.

No amount of heaving and ho-ing (of which she found she was much better at the latter) could dislodge her barnacle-encrusted bottom from the mud.

So in lieu of a motley crew to join her, she decided to play with herself in the deep brown ooze. Even her parrot Benbow flew off to compose a moaning missive that we didn't get to see her lovely boobs and bum this time.

"Piece of 'ate mail, pieces of 'ate mail," it squawked as it tapped out the letters with its beak on the laptop.

But Mercedes didn't care. She was having fun covering herself in mud from her buccaneers to her buckin' toes and dreaming of 15 men on a blonde girl's chest until she was rescued and hauled out by an old lugger called Dirty Dids.

Our 32 sea dog with the pert puppies may be a failure as a sailor, but we reckon she's a treasure - and very nearly a buried one at that.

Pics by Dids.

Sadly this will not be available on DVD cos, as you know, we don't sell pirate videos here!

ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC pics

thanks Mercedes and Dids, I have to say these are my most favourite of your pics to date.

Arrrrr avast ye lubbers

<3 pirates

x x x x x

Great pics of Mercedes!

You made my day when i saw these Mercedes you look great as a messy Pirate .

Regards,
wamram

Superb photos Mercedes - you look great.

Great pics

ps. what great words to go with them!
Bill your on form (can we all have some of what you were drinking)

Thanks, Philis, and for once I was sober!

I think Mercedes should walk the plank to Splosh Central as Bill would have a field (muddy of course) day gettting her messy!

NX


Ship Shape and Bristol (cities) Fashion

Fantastic pics thank you

great outfit and a fantastic location ...

cracking pics ..thanks for posting em

Cede babe you get more imaginative every shoot I just love these pics you are doing great.

Chantelle xxx