Come on, Mess up Hayley the town slut!

[Hayley]

Mmmm yeah, I'm lovin' it!

Not sure whether I prefer the 'nice' or the 'gross', both work for me depending on my mood.

Still up for more though from young farmers, old rockers, young sluts anyone!

Hayley

[HenryWilcox]

I'd start with a tin of beans down the cleavage, then as they slowly trickled through, I'd see how many eggs I could crack into your knickers....

While you wiggled about enjoying them, I'd grab my funnel and fill those nice boots of yous with chilly custard - just imagine them full to the brim, oozing over the tops and down your boots as you squished your toes back and forth!

Of course I won't be able to resist your hair for long, so it'd be out with the gravy jug - I always preferred brunettes Or perhaps ketchup, and enjoy you as a redhead instead!

Then it's time for the pie firing squad - every guy who's willing (and trust me, they all are) takes a pie and readies it to fire at a different part of your eager body... On three, they throw - you're buried from head to toe in thick whipped cream and sloppy pie filling...

After that, my imagination gets a little more 'saucy' - so you'll have to ask nicely if you want the rest!

Henry

[Hayley]

Saucy is one of the things this forum is about!

Hayley

[DecadentDoll]

Yeah come on Henry get dirtier!

*has been avidly watching this topic lol*

[welshcakes]

I'm sorry to be such a complete nerd, Hayley, I really am, but I've just got to know. Which rock band did you go and see?
But while I'm here...
Having seen you massaging pie into your frankly gorgeous breasts in the Mucky Puppies video, I simply wouldn't be able to resist unzipping your top, pouring warm custard down your bra and rubbing it all over your tits. Then it would be warm custard down your knickers, thoroughly rubbed in, of course, and lastly, my personal favourite, with you watching I'd cum over a big gloopy custard and cream pie and push it into your face.
How's that?

[Hayley]

Mmmm...nice one, Welshcakes.

Only one pie though...I'm sure you could do better than that.

The band we saw on BH Mon are a local (well Bognor) act called Raw Power. The name says it all really. They ended with a particularly fine version of So What (The VERY rude Anti Nowhere League song) that is practically the pub national anthem. If you want to know the words (and why it is so popular round St Leonards) check out the Anti Nowhere League website.

Now I'm being nerdy...

[muckypup]

Having seen you massaging pie into your frankly gorgeous breasts in the Mucky Puppies video, I simply wouldn't be able to resist unzipping your top, pouring warm custard down your bra and rubbing it all over your tits.

Wow I didnt know there was a video called that, with my nickname I have to have it Not to mention that your breasts got a great review

Anyway you were asking what we would do to you.... after much thought:

Although its been years since I've been, the village where I used to live used to have a typical village fete for their may day celebrations which used to involve lots of competitions like cake making, may pole dancing, cocanut shy to mention just a few. And obviously there's always a burger van and a mr whippy ice cream van too

So with the last event of the day being the cake making competition I think the decisive factor should be how deep and yummy they are. There's only one way to test that, so lift up your bum Hayley while I put this deep creamy cake underneath. Now sit down. How was that? Seems to be oozing all around your bum and up your skirt. Still a long way to go with the voting though at least 10 more cakes. After repeating this 5 or 6 times there really doesnt seem to be much more space under (and around) your bum I try squishing one more into your skirt but its really full, so the next one goes on your left breast and the next one your right. Still able to judge the squishiness properly? Do we have a winner yet?

As a tie breaker you are going to have to sample some cake. Your hands seem a little occupied so I'll have to pop some in yoru mouth. A really big gooey bit, really have to spread it around to try to get it in, your face is getting rather creamy, and the strawberry jam filling is being smeared around too. This custard tart is going to be really tricky! I try to cram some in but it just seems to be covering your face and joining the cream and jam down your ever filling cleavage. I think the real winner will be the one who gets to clean you up!

The close to the festivities is the dance around the may pole that your messy self is tied to, but obviously there is a twist. The dancers are equiped with deep filled pies and everytime that come in close the pie you good Pies to the head, pies to your top (with the odd sneaky feel) and pies all down your legs until you are a gooey mess.

When the revelers have gone home and the tidy up is under way the mr whippy van really needs to get rid of getting his un used goods. He reverses up to the pole with you still tied there and with the nozzles of the mr whippy machine and bottles of choc and strawberry sauce placed strategically in your top, down your skirt and over your head they let rip pouring more and more over you until you are like a giant sundae. Not sure what he's going to do with his iced lollies...

With his load dumped on you it looks like I've got the responsibility of untying you and cleaning you up... I think its going to be very hard

[bootfiller]

brings back memories saw them in 85. sorry just had to tell some one

[DecadentDoll]

Metallica also did a cover of "So What?"

Very very rude lyrics, me love it!

[welshcakes]

It looks like I owe you two apologies, Hayley. Firstly, for turning this topic into a discussion about rock music, and secondly for disappointing you with a just a single cum-topped custard pie. What if I promised to penetrate you while you were tied up with a Milky Way and then eat it from between your legs when it had melted? Does this make up for it?

[Jonny]

There was a bootleg of Metallica vs Brtiney... "So Fucking Crazy"

[Hayley]

King-size Mars Bar more like! You can save the Milky Way for another place!

Go on, get it in there....

Hayley

[welshcakes]

They don't make king size Mars Bars anymore. Can you believe it?

[Spinynorman and Frilly]

King-size Mars Bar more like! You can save the Milky Way for another place!

Go on, get it in there....

Hayley

Curly Wurly's could fit into several places all at once!

[animal_obtrudes]

Hayley, I'm actually listening to Anti Nowhere League now. So What is such a brilliant song. When I heard the name of the band (Raw Power) I expected them to be an Iggy Pop cover band.

Ok I doubt any of you want to hear me talk about music.

So. Here I go.

As a young local farmer and baseball enthusiast, I gather up several eggs from my chicken coop and practice my speedballs into your face. I pitch a good 2 dozen eggs right into your face as hard and as fast as I can. After that I'd get the hose and blast all the egg off your face with a high pressured beam of super cold water. It appears that the ground got pretty muddy during my hosing, and this gives me an idea. I untie your hands from the maypole, and I tell you to get on your knees. I put one of my boots on your shoulder and force you down into the mud. I squat down next to you and grab you by your hair, and shove your head down into the mud. I pull you up out of the mud just to shove your face back into it and rub it slowly in circles against the cold, mucky ground. After I feel that you've had enough, I pull you up by your hair until your in a kneeling position again. I see you looking up at me, all muddy faced, and I suck back a huge loogy and shoot it into your face as you gaze up at me. Then I unzip my pants and pecker slap you right in the face. For the final bit of humiliation, I find one remaining clean place on your shirt and whipe the mud off my pecker with it. I grunt the word "bitch" at you, and walk off without saying another word.

Normally I'm not this cruel, but I mean you ARE supposed to be punished hear, after all, and I suspect you of stealing eggs from my chicken coop.