Hmmm, why does getting messy not feel right anymore?

[h83]

Firstly, sorry! I've been a bit of a lurker on here so apologies for bursting in with a deep an meaningful post such as this!

Anyway, the problem:

Some of you may remember me and more specifically my wife, Laura from UMD a while back. We posted pics and vid of Laura getting messed up in a good a way, all was well, we loved it!

Sonce then though a lot has changed. We had a little girl, we got married last year and we're both generally busy.

It wasn't so long ago that we got a litle frisky and thought we'd have ago a relighting the messy flame, as it were.

The only thing is, it just didn't, well, it didn't feel right. It felt silly (not in a good way) and almost embarassing. Maybe it's me, who knows. The fundamental issue that it didn't work, and as such we havent tried it since.

And just look at her....



...it's not like I don't want to.

I need help and ideas guys, and seeing as the UMD has totally lost it's community vibe, I reckon you lot are the best people to ask!!

Chris

[BillShipton]

I think the desire to splosh is something that comes and goes over a period of time. Certainly there have been occasions - usually through stress, tiredness, feeling low - when the last thing I have wanted to do is get myself or anyone else messy. On other occasions it has been a fabulous release from exactly the same symptoms. I imagine the same is true of all fetishes - sometimes they just don't appeal and other times they do.

If you have had a series of lifechanging events - kids etc - certainly you are going to feel differently about things for a while, and almost everything is 'silly' in comparison. Believe me, there will come a time though when 'silly' is exactly what you need! Don't push it. It isn't compulsory. Just enjoy it when it does work and forget it when it doesn't.

Miriam Stoppard

[Etonman]

An excellent reply there from Bill.

Anyone's interests are bound to vary from time to time, not just in fetishes, but in hobbies, interests and life generally. As Bill says, other events and pressures of life today all influence what we feel like doing in our spare time, and, since this is entirely our own choice, there's no need to feel silly or wrong if you do-or-don't enjoy something at any particular time.

My partner and I have quite a few (non-WAM ) hobbies between us, one of which is classic cars. Due to work and house moves, however, we've not even been to a Rally for a couple of years, let alone having our own car right now, but when time allows, we'll get another and our interest will revive again. Not quite the same thing, I know, but you see my point.

Good luck.

[h83]

An excellent reply there from Bill.

Anyone's interests are bound to vary from time to time, not just in fetishes, but in hobbies, interests and life generally. As Bill says, other events and pressures of life today all influence what we feel like doing in our spare time, and, since this is entirely our own choice, there's no need to feel silly or wrong if you do-or-don't enjoy something at any particular time.

My partner and I have quite a few (non-WAM ) hobbies between us, one of which is classic cars. Due to work and house moves, however, we've not even been to a Rally for a couple of years, let alone having our own car right now, but when time allows, we'll get another and our interest will revive again. Not quite the same thing, I know, but you see my point.

Good luck.

Actually, I see exacly where you're coming from. I'm into classics too (I have a 1976 Capri and the wife has a 1964 NSU Prinz) so it's a well matched analagy!

I guess you're both right though. Not only did we get married and have kids but we also moved to kent, moved back to bristol, argued, lived with our in-laws, had no money, been stressed and just generally had one hell of year.

Still, new house this month and a new job with decent wages I hope, so maybe we'll adopt the correct mindsets again.

It's such an obvious reason, i'm suprised I didn't see it!

[morepies]

First thing - congratulations on the birth of your child & the new family. Its an amazing journey you've embarked on. Second thing - I agree your wife is very cute and I recall her earlier pics and film, which were excellent efforts.

I've given your predicament some thought and reckon this is likely to be an instance of first child syndrome. At the back of your mind probably lurk the thoughts 'we're adults now', 'we've responsibilities', 'what if the baby wakes up' & so forth. Added to this is the issue of tiredness & lack of time generally. First children are particularly prone to give rise to these sorts of thoughts - parents on a 2nd or 3rd child are typically more relaxed, even though ironically they have more responsibilities.

The thing is that the feelings that made you want to get messy and splosh are still there - that rebellious, devil-may-care, spontaneous, giving way to abandonment feeling. The danger is that over time your love life may become stale and conventional, giving rise to frustration and a deterioration in communication. If not checked, the relationship may eventually come under strain.

My advice would be to remember that its still ok to do wild things from time to time - actually, I'd say its more than ok: you should plan for some fun times because it will keep you feeling young and happy. Make a plan - eg get grandparents to babysit and check into a hotel. Take some wam supplies with you. Maybe start small, like you did in the beginning, rather than picking up where you left off.

Best of luck,

Morepies

[Messyun]

Hi, firstly congratulations on your marriage and the birth of your daughter.

I remember your pictures and video well, Laura was a natural and has one of the nicest smiles I have ever seen, youre a lucky man.
I know exactly where you are coming from, my girlfriend who became my wife used to splosh on a regular basis and enjoyed every bit of it.
But things did change when we had our first child and like you I felt it was not quite the same. We did not participate in any sort of sploshing for long while afterwards .
But then one day we decided to give it another go and it was fantastic, and now we splosh and a regular basis and enjoy it like before
I think like Bill is bang on with his comments, and all I can say is give things a chance and take things has they come.

Once again congratulations and all the best for the future to you & Laura .

[Phantom]

Wise words from morepiesthere.

Certainly got me thinking. My first kid is due in November, and I'm wondering if I'll go through the same thing.

Haven't had a messy session with Miss Phantom since the start of this year - where we're pretty sure the baby was conceived. How about that - a baby conceived during a WAM session.

[eden]

I think the thing with sploshing is it does take a lot of time and effort. At the end of the day, sometimes you just grow out of things too, so if you're nto enjoying it, don't force it.

[Smiley]

Sorry high jacked this log in to post but with smileys permission.
As others have already said the fact that you have to put so much effort into messy means that it's one of the first things to go when you're low on time or energy. I find that kissing and intercourse between lovers can communicate pretty much everything. It's easy to communicate I love and support you through a kiss hard to communicate it with a pie. So even when sex doesn't wane it's not surprising WAM can.
I moved in with the OH over a year ago now. Since then we've had new jobs and moved again. Needless to say we're tired and our WAM life has definitely suffered. It does come back. As you've found if you try to push when one or both of you just doesn't need it at that moment it feels rubbish. When you both want it it's still just as good as it always was.