The Splosh UK Forum

A Question
Basicaly when did the human race discover the joys of splosh/ wam.
Like a few poeple I know, I have always enjoyed seeing clothed females messed up with guge mud or pies. My first memories are as a five year old in my first school in 1962 seeing a teacher in a very pretty summer dress and I thoght how much I would love to see that lady covered in mud. This was something I kept secret most of my life. it was only later in life 16 -18 years old that I began to suspect this was not just me. After seeing glimpse of wam in the playboy or razzle mags in the early 70's.
It was not untill 1994 when I by chance stumbled on a splosh mag. (thanks Bill) and I subsiquently bought every issue ever since including back issues. and been a contributer ever since.
So it seems I am not alone. however the whole splosh / wam scene has been taken over by the www. mostly (casual wear / nude/ bikinis) not what my Idea of sploshing is, but every now and then a few bits meet my exacting standards.
anyway back to my question. When was the first recorded instances of humans enjoying wam. was it the Romans? greeks? or is it just a 20th century thing.
I gather we had it in our genes anyway hence the pie fights gungings etc in the very eary movies of the (1920's)
any input appreciated

I remember seeing, some years ago, a feature film set in the mid-1800's which included a circus with slapstick clowns (whitewash, or something like that)? Wasn't very exciting, rather bizarre, to be honest....I can't remember the filmname now , but it was a high-budget classic (maybe from a Thomas Hardy book????), and my thinking is that the producers of films like that do try to get their facts and the period detail exactly right.

That's a good question.

I reckon it goes back beyond the introduction of cinema and telephone for sure.

There's something primeval about it ... especially the sight of two women grappling in mud.

WAM/sploshing is one of the world’s oldest pastimes, dating back further even than the human race itself. The wacky dinosaurs we know today only from documentaries like “The Flintstones” were notorious for tormenting each other with messy pranks with many a hapless triceratops finding itself being pelted by pterodactyl eggs dropped from above. Sadly, when the dinos' WAM tastes became so extreme that they took to experimenting with tarpits as their substance of choice it spelled doom for the species.
Meanwhile mammals were continuing to evolve, yielding the sub-species “Homo-erectus”, “Homo-sapiens” and “Homo-splosheus”, the latter’s cave paintings being distinctive by the recurring legend “Ug don’t know”.

Eventually humans developed civilisations and with them more elaborate means of getting wet and messy. Queen Cleopatra of Egypt famously bathed in milk, with the famous exchange, “Your majesty, would you like it pasteurised, as pasteurised is best?”/”Bathsheeba, I’ll be ‘appy if it comes up to me chest!” (which tickled old Bathsheeba). The Greeks on the other hand were far too stuck up about the whole thing, which led their premier WAM model Helena (the face that took a thousand pi’s) to defect to their rivals the Trojans, where she succeeded in temporarily distracting them from their main industry of sending dodgy e-mails.

Then came Christianity and the subsequent witch hunting craze which goes down as the nuttiest excuse ever for dumping ladies in muddy ponds (don’t get me started on where they took BDSM).

Following the cultural revolution that was the renaissance, WAM found a home in the world of art. Elizabeth Siddal joined the gallery of history’s great wetlook models by posing fully dressed in a bath of water for Millais’ Ophelia, but the duo’s follow-up painting, “Titania In A Bath Of Custard”, was sadly lost to posterity.

I think Miss Helen should get a special award for posting that. Quite possibly one involving being dresed in her best frock, chained up in a dungeon, and mercilessly gunged by some of the wenches of Langstonedale Chase.

I hereby second DungeonMasterOne's proposal. All those in favour...

AYE!

Aye!

(removes false beard and sneaks away whistling innocently)

Motion Carried!

I shall consult with her ladyship when time permits.

Btw, “Titania In A Bath Of Custard” isn't totally lost, it's hanging in the inner drawing room of the Hall. Unfortunately it would be too risky to ever try and transport it down the road over the Chase, and it's a bit fragile for flash photography. Beautiful painting though, and the way the custard laps at her dress...