The bad advice thread

[TottyMcGee]

The best solution for getting peanut butter out of hair is to add chewing gum.

Worried about taking your computer to be repaired in case the shop staff find all the naughty pictures on your hard drive and call the cops? Store them all in a folder marked "research material for serious and completely unsexy academic research paper by order of HRH The Queen (bubbles)". That way you will have a totally believable and innocent alibi established in advance and the police will not trouble you.

Worried about being assaulted on the street by loitering chavs? As you come within earshot of a suspicious group begin a loud conversation with an imaginary companion, saying "Thank-you, Graagh-Hamliph, my invisible protector, for imparting upon me the secret deadly fighting techniques of your home planet of Ik'snav, I now feel I could confidently take out any low-life ruffian who attempts to assault me".
Do not appear to address this directly to the gang of ne'er-do-wells in question, or they might realise you're bluffing.

Anyone have any more unhandy hints they'd like to share with the populace?

[shredder]

Related to your second point - if you need to come up with a password (you know, for those pictures and files, etc.) that no one will guess, just run your hands back and forth along the keyboard a couple of times and hit <enter> again. No one will ever guess that one!

[messylaura]

when striking a match under water, remove the other matches from the box as they will get wet

[DungeonMasterOne]

The best way to ensure that you don't get any noticable damp patches on your trousers when walking in the rain is to fill your underwear with a couple of litres of custard before setting out. The leaking custard will produce much more noticable stains than the rain does and thus keep the rain-induced ones nicely hidden.