The Splosh UK Forum

Hiya all,

Are you in the mood to splosh someone? Really fancy smashing that pie into someone's face or pouring that porridge into her panties, well, LET ME HAVE IT.

Every time you want to mess someone up and can't, do it to me on this thread!

Describe how you would dress me (or undress me!), what you'd use, what you'd do, and show no mercy! You really can do whatever you want, when you want. And I'll always* be here to take it (* well, never very far away!). Sorry, no pictures (well, probably not), but plenty of horny replies!

I hope this thread will run and run, with you all submitting your messiest ideas for years to come. YOU CAN MESS ME UP AS OFTEN AS YOU FEEL LIKE IT and I'm pretty broadminded as you must be aware by now so don't be afraid to do your worst!.

Oh, and you will also be doing me a big favour - by making me HOT AS HELL!

SO, COME ON, GUYS...

Yours excitedly
Hayley x x x

Cor!! what an offer putting my thinking cap on

dids

Wow Hayley how can we turn that offer down have to get my thinking cap on

I've always fancied getting you down on all fours
Dressed in some in skin tight black licra trousers and a low cut black top so you tits hang nice and free.
I'd give you a fuw big custard pies in the face to start the I'd put your trousers down and pour custard over your bare ass then pull them back up rubbing it in well through the material.
Then I'd pour loads of black treacle over you sarting at your toes
and working slowly up your body to your head.
Where I'd rub some eggs in for good measure.

Then make you take your top off and give you a flour and treacle shower,
Then spread the gooey slim over those gorgeous tits of yours
To finish with loads of custard and cream pies smashed into your face.

Oh thanks Haley I needed that

So did I!

I love the treacle and flour combo - so thick and heavy especially over my head. And you know me and pies! How many do you think you can throw and how hard? Gentle pieing is all well and good, but give me a good, hard slapping with them any day!

Hope you'll come back and give some more soon!

Thanks

Sticky Hayley x x

I think the more you beg the more you'll get.

Hard Impact in the face
So the filling fly's all over the place.
Then nice and soft in the other dark place
Pieing Haley is my dream With loads of custard and thick wiped cream.


Ps love some dirt pm chat with anyone

Hayley, hope you enjoy! To start with your make up and hair are immaculate. You are wearing a tight fitting low neckline bright pink top and micro mini skirt with matching pink shoes. Underneath you are wearing bright red bra and knickers , suspenders and stockings.
Firstly to cool you down 2 buckets of cold water are thrown and tipped over you leaving your sodden top clinging to your skin. Then a hose pipe is placed down your top with again cold water making your nipples firm and erect. Followed by the hose directed up your skirt into your brief pants to squeals of delight!
Then you are led into the stocks where you have 6 large creamy pies smacked into your face and hair. Being considerate (!) your face is wiped so you can see the 3 cartons of custard poured over your head, down inside your top and skirt. You are then led to a chair where you have your hands tied behind you after removing top and skirt. Despite protests you then receive 3 large coloured , green, red and yellow, buckets of gunge over your head and massaged into your boobs and private bits below! Youare then stripped completely.Finally you are tipped into a large bath of chocolate, head dunked under to ensure complete coverage and cream sprays applied to your boobs and fanny in the shape of a bikini. I would then lick the cream off!!
Sorry must nip to the bathroom!!! Bye!!

Malc xxx

P.S. And i suppose you could give me a cuddle at the end!!

Well you asked for it Hayley.

Quite simple this one but hope you like it,

Hayley dressed in PVC basque, stocking and suspenders, rubber knickers and thigh high boots
Three large paddling pools,
No1 is full of water,
No2 is full of every sort of gunge you can imagine custard, cream, salad cream, tomato sauce, porridge, rice pudding, yogurt, beans, spaghetti, plum tomatoes, paint, mud (and anything else you'd like to add Hayley).
No3 is full of treacle (black).
And a table full of pies.

First is a slow pieing with pies pushed in to your face, bum, boobs and pussy, Then i ask you if your getting turn on by the slow pieing when you say you like it but its not turning you on your pushed in the water and we start again.

This time the pies are thrown hard at you so hard you can hear them splat when they hit you. Then i ask you again if it turning you on you say yes so i remove your puts and push you in pool No2 dunking your head under then take you out and start pieing you again.

At this point you are begging me to remove your basque and pie your bare boobs but me being the BASTARD i'am say NO and instead remove your rubber knickers on removing them i can see how turned on you are (your pussies dripping like a fucked fridge ) so i get you on all fours with your pert bum in the air and slam a pie in to it hard at close range then taking another pie slowly smooch it in to your dripping pussy, Then you stood up and push in to pool No2 again while your in pool No2 i remove your thigh high boots fill them with gunge and make you put them back on as you slip them back on your in ecstasy as your feet slowly go deeper in to the boots feeling with your toes what kind of mess is in them.

By this time your in heaven at being half naked and covered in every kind of mess you can think off you beg to be stripped naked and pied then pushed in to pool No2 which of course i do .

Then right at the end when you have been pied stripped naked and splosh in poll No2 several times i push you in pool No1 (the water) then lead you to pool No3 (the black treacle) and push you in that were you need no encouragement to roll about in it until you are covered head to toe in treacle and its in every nook and crannie of your body.

Hope you liked me sploshing you
Does this thread work both ways (you know what i mean )

wamram x

malc wrote:Hayley, hope you enjoy! To start with your make up and hair are immaculate. You are wearing a tight fitting low neckline bright pink top and micro mini skirt with matching pink shoes. Underneath you are wearing bright red bra and knickers , suspenders and stockings.
Firstly to cool you down 2 buckets of cold water are thrown and tipped over you leaving your sodden top clinging to your skin. Then a hose pipe is placed down your top with again cold water making your nipples firm and erect. Followed by the hose directed up your skirt into your brief pants to squeals of delight!
Then you are led into the stocks where you have 6 large creamy pies smacked into your face and hair. Being considerate (!) your face is wiped so you can see the 3 cartons of custard poured over your head, down inside your top and skirt. You are then led to a chair where you have your hands tied behind you after removing top and skirt. Despite protests you then receive 3 large coloured , green, red and yellow, buckets of gunge over your head and massaged into your boobs and private bits below! Youare then stripped completely.Finally you are tipped into a large bath of chocolate, head dunked under to ensure complete coverage and cream sprays applied to your boobs and fanny in the shape of a bikini. I would then lick the cream off!!
Sorry must nip to the bathroom!!! Bye!!

Malc xxx

P.S. And i suppose you could give me a cuddle at the end!!

Hi Malc

Ah you are so considerate! Wiping my eyes like that so I can see what is happening next. But after the freezing cold water, you owe me a favour. And there was I hoping for your version of the 12 Days of Christmas (only without the singing!).

Do remind me what the 12 verses were...

Hayley x x

Hi Wamram

Absolutely loved that one! Though I think you should give me a collar and lead so you can chain me up, push me into the pools and drag me out!

I love sploshing to be relentless - deluged and dunked over and over, pied repeatedly etc - so I get completely breathless and verging on a climax before anything even appraoching conventional sex comes along. In short turned into a limp, panting rag doll completely drenched in every conceivable mess.

I think I'd end my session at your place by having the basque, boots, panties etc thrown in the treacle with me and then made to put them all on again before you coat me in several sacks of bread flour! Then you pull me up by the hair so my face is level with your crotch and....well...think of it and fucking a big floury sticky bun that sucks back!

Waddaya reckon?

Hayley x x x

but just imagine coming home from being away at sea for a few months and walking into the kitchen to find chocolate sauce every where and being told no mess till the day after..

Hi Hayley,

If you bring the collar and lead i think i can find some handcuffs so your completly at my mercy.

Never fucked a floury sticky bun that sucks back but sounds like great fun.

How about instead of treacle i get some used axle grease off my truck and cover you in that before emptying the flour over you .

See you posted your reply twice did reading what i'd do to you get you that excited you could'nt stop shaking

wamram xx

Hayley,
Happy memories of a session with April and the famous 12 days of Christmas. I remember the poor girl being absolutely covered by the end of the song including;
Spaghetti; Baked beans; custard; rice puddding; cream pies; spray cream; water and yoghurt.
What the order was God knows as i no longer possess the video; perhaps Bill might have copy!
Yes my singing was appalling but if you're offering to re create the scene suggest a date and i'll rush off for singing lessons!!

Hi Hayley

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!

The Scenario

Unfortunately Bill has been hospitalised for a few weeks after sustaining nasty crush injuries after being trapped for several hours under an avalanche of gunge when Gilly’s gusset snapped without warning just as Bill was going for a close up shot of the 131st ( a new world record) bucket of beans poured into Gilly’s pants.

However in the meantime the show must go on and you have employed me Paul T. Pieman as temporary (very) personal assistant at Splosh Towers. Starting today which just happens to be the same day as the fancy dress party you have organised to celebrate the 1st birthday of the forum which she is expecting members from far and wide to attend and which she wants to be perfect.

So here’s the story

I’ve had a bad first day in the job, nothing I have done is right for you and now it is only 2 hours till the party and you can’t decide what to wear, you have down the fancy dress shop and come back with 3 costumes and have now gone off to try to decide what to wear while I finish setting out the food and what a lot of food there is (I wonder why).

As I finish emptying another tray of pies I notice you walk back into the room, having decided on her out fit, you have picked the Policewomans out fit and is dressed in crisp white blouse with policewoman’s tie, knees length black skirt, and police hat and underneath (I have x-ray vision as well) are wearing a white lacy bra, white knickers and black hold-ups.

You ask me to stop what I am doing and go over and help as you need help with your make up, I am behind with my work and am getting really pissed off with the job, any way I come over and you ask me to stand behind you and get the cream of the table and rub some into your face I look on the table and notice a tube of anti wrinkle cream BUT also some squirty cream and can’t resist I grab the squirty cream and start spraying it all over your face and rubbing it in, not that cream you splutter the other one I look across and notice a large tub of partly melted chocolate ice cream and grab it I take your hat off and tip the soft gooey ice cream onto your hair and start rubbing it in with my hands, the ice cream running down both front and back of your white blouse you jump up to complain but I am having too much fun and grab the handcuffs which you have left on the table and cuff you to the chair, you start swearing at me and telling me I am sacked but I do not care, I grab the squirty cream again and fill your mouth to stop you talking and ram a couple of strawberry gateau into your face, I then grab a bucket of custard and pour it over your head and straight over your blouse and quickly follow up with a chocolate gateau to each tit, next I rip your tie off and rip open your blouse and pour a bucket of beans down you blouse front with the excess squirting our through the buttons next I notice that your skirt is covered in all the gunge and is spilling off your lap and running down your stockings I decide to stop this problem by grabbing the bottom of your skirt and ripping it right up the front exposing your panties and letting the goo on your skirt run back down and onto your panties, as this can now run away I following up with a couple of buckets of porridge over your head and rub it in all over till you are completely covered from head to toe, I then rip off your blouse exposing you bra which I quickly pour more custard into rubbing it in with my hands taking time to feel your rock hard nipples, I quickly remove your bra and them proceed to pie each tit over and over rubbing the contents in as I do so. By now you are enjoying yourself to much to complain about what I am doing so I undo the cuffs and get you to stand up seeing your exposed panties through the rip in your skirt I grab the waist band of your pants and tip in a large jug of raw eggs I then turn you around and rip the back of your skirt to expose your pert bum and pull your waist band at the back and slide in a thick gooey chocolate éclair and tell you to sit back down, you let out a shriek of delight as you do so I now get you to lie face down in the deep pile of mess on the floor and I rip of the remains of your skirt and tip buckets of beans, spaghetti and custard all over the length of your back before rubbing them in, I then rip off your pants and get you to roll onto your back and proceed to get 2 chocolate éclairs and rub them all over your now exposed fanny before getting another box of slightly melted ice cream and pouring it over the éclairs and rubbing it in at this point you remember the party and say you must go for a shower and select another outfit and you tell me to clean up the mess.

While you rush out of the room to shower instead of clearing up I saunter off and get a can of beer while thinking this job might not be as bad after all and start to clear up the mess.

You come back into the room now with wet hair wearing a skin tight zip fronts leather cat suit, with a black lacy bra and black thong underneath (x-ray visions great you know!) and carrying a pair of knee length leather boots which you want me to polish for you and declaring you always wanted to go as cat woman anyway.

Unfortunately (for you) I haven’t cleaned up too well and you don’t notice the large patch of slime on the floor which you slip in and land on you backside, you start complaining about it but I again take by chance while you are on the floor and start pushing cakes into your face I notice you have dropped your boots so I quickly fill one with custard and the other with beans and tell you to put them on, you get up and sit on the chair while you slide your feet into the boots squealing with delight as each foot goes deeper and deeper into the mess, I them get you to stand up in the boots and ease the zip down a couple of inches and then proceed to tip buckets full of rice pudding down the inside of the suit and as each bucket full slides down I stand and watch as limps begin to appear in the tight leather, then standing on the chair I insert a large funnel down the back of the cat suit and start to tip in buckets of custard down your back again watching as the skin tight suit starts bulging, after the 3rd bucket I get a large bucket of treacle and slowly tip it over your head and down the leather I then get several bags of flour and throw these all over you which when stuck to the treacle means you now look like a snow woman. You now start complaining that your mouth is dry with the flour and want a drink so I grab a nearby soda siphon (its great what is nearby in fantasy isn’t it) and start spraying it in your general direction.

Once you are a bit happier I get you to try and sit on a chair which is great fun as you try to bend with all the gunge squelching around your body, once say it pull down you zip slightly till I can see your bra and grab a pair of scissor and cut your bra off leaving your heaving tits to breath before covering them with more treacle and flour, I then pull your zip down further and help you get your arms and torso out of the suit letting the gooey mess squirt out of all angles, next I pull you gunge filled boot off you and using a pair of scissors I cut up the sides of your legs letting all the gunge flow out over your feet, I then help you out of the remains of your suit so you are stood in you now multicoloured panties, I now grab another bucket of treacle and pulling at the waist band of your panties I tip it in before giving you are wedgie to let the treacle slide right up the inside of your arse.

Again you notice the time and bullock me for messing around and go for another shower however you are soon back to complain that no water is coming out of the shower and I notice a letter in the door from the water company to say there has been a burst pipe so we have no water you wonder out loud what you are going to do as you need a shower so using some nearby soda siphons I start to spray her down whilst you try your best to get rid of the muck.

Finally with you as clean as you can you go to put on your final outfit which is a low cut nurses uniform which only just does cover your tits and which has a hem line which only just covers your pert arse and a little nurses cap which you are wearing and a jaunty angle and white hold ups as you walk back into the room you bend down to pick something up you and it is obvious to tell you are not wearing any underwear.

As you walk in you tell me that as it is almost time for the party there had better be no more funny business however as you says this, the soda siphon I am holding accidentally (yeah right!) goes off spraying water all down your front which makes your outfit cling to you more that it already did I’ll bloody get you for that you shout as you start running towards me but holding a cream cake but luckily (for me) I side step you and as you slip on a patch of gunge on the floor you go head first into the birthday cake I have just put out on the table raising you head out of the cake you say what the fuck do we do now and I reply enjoy as I stick a strawberry gateau under your face and ram you head into it and while you are bent over the table I take the opportunity of hitching up your skirt and with a tin of squirty cream I fill you gaping arse and pussy and start working the cream in with my finger while you scream in ecstasy I then suggest you might like to sit down but as I help you down to slide a big bowl of custard under your backside and watch as you squirm in it, I then get a couple of bowls of jelly a tip that down the inside of the outfit followed by some more custard and watch as it starts seeking out around your pussy, next I pour some more custard over your head and following up with 10 pies to your face, I then make a grab for the front of your outfit, ripping it to expose your tits and deliver another 10 pies to cover them I then rip the down the rest of the outfit to expose you already creamy fanny I start to pie your fanny when suddenly I shouted Oh fuck as I have looked out of the window and noticed the first guests arriving for the party what are we going to do I say as I suddenly realise that I have wrecked all of your outfits and all of the food.

Suddenly I have a brain wave, jump up on the table and lie flat, you do this I then grab a bucket and start scooping up all of the food remains off the floor and tipping them over you turning you into a giant edible Hayley cake then I notice a large candle which had been knocked off the top of the cake I quickly get you to open your legs a bit and stick the candle into your pussy from the groan you let out I think you approved, there you go I said one fancy dress outfit, you have come as the food.

I let the guests in and the night is a great success as people seem to really enjoy using their tongues and fingers to eat their food off you, the only problem being that the candle kept toppling over but there was no shortage of volunteers willing to use their finger and other parts of the anatomy to make another hole for it to go in.

When I went home in the early hours of the next morning I thought to myself, that it wasn’t that bad a job after all!

Unfortunately my literary skills (and time) are not up to the excellence of the previous writer!
However, I always enjoy seeing girls getting messy shampoos (a sad day when Brian Grove withdrew his Crazygirls sites...he had some great ideas for his long-suffering models....the "worst"/best being with fish in oil, and with vaseline!), and I believe that Hayley shares similar likings.
Based on kids TV skit which I can vaguely remember (don't think it was UK tv), I'd like to see Hayley visit the hairdressers!
It's the turn of the new (and not-very-bright) trainee girl to deal with Hayley, and she somehow manages to get the instructions for shampoos and conditioners mixed up with the shopping list for baking supplies!
This has the result that Hayleys hair is shampooed, item by item, with the contents of the shopping basket, all well rubbed in.....margarine, flour, suger, milk, lard and golden syrup...finally decorated with a liberal sprinkling of hundreds-and-thousands.
Hope this idea captures a few peoples imagination!

Mmmmm Paul, gonna have to print this one off and read it in bed.

Hayley x x