The Splosh UK Forum

Here's another game thread, the idea is to post a question you've always wondered about. Whoever answers it first (points are deducted for serious or accurate answers, plausible but daft answers are far more valued) gets to then ask a question of their own. So, to start off;

I've always wondered why custard is yellow.

So it will show up nicely when poured onto blue uniforms, obviously!

Why is the thing at the top of your legs called a bottom?

For when you're being tipped upside down of course!


Why does noting rhyme with purple?

This dates back to the mmphteenth century when the Catholic church moved to stamp out the burgeoning Tafkap religion, whose main sacred rite involved a prayer rhyming the word "purple" with the name of their main deity, a useful coincidence as the colour purple was also sacred to them. Tafkapists were aggressive in seeing that no other word was allowed to rhyme with the name of their Lord and would hunt down and exact bloody revenge on anyone caught using any such word. Succesful as this strategy was, it led to their undoing when it brought them to the attention of the Catholic church. Fantatical as they were, the Tafkapists proved no match for the might of the Vatican and the religion was effectively destroyed and the name of their deity itself removed from the English language.

Modern scholars can but speculate on the name of the Tafkap deity, but it is rumoured that the religion still survives underground, with artifacts occasionally surfacing without anyone being aware of their dark significance.

I've always wondered, why are there no care bears in zoos?

Not at this time of year there aren't. They are all let out into the wild to appear in panto.

If nothing sticks to Teflon how does it stay on the pan?

That would be the heatproof super glue Hayley.

Whats the point of sea cadets based in the countryside miles from the coast

To provide a steady flow of seamen.

Why are boobies fun to play with?

They provide a steady flow of seamen.

Why do I dream of Haley every night?

because the guy next door keeps playing Bill haley while you sleep

i wonder why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

They obviously dream of wearing there nappies and babygrows to bed again.

Why is it always rich people who win lots of money

So they can afford to buy more WAM videos.

Why is the tomato sauce that baked beans come in so much runnier (and thus much quicker to soak through your clothes and start to drip out) than the tomato sauce you buy from Heinz?

MissHelen wrote:This dates back to the mmphteenth century when the Catholic church moved to stamp out the burgeoning Tafkap religion, whose main sacred rite involved a prayer rhyming the word "purple" with the name of their main deity, a useful coincidence as the colour purple was also sacred to them. Tafkapists were aggressive in seeing that no other word was allowed to rhyme with the name of their Lord and would hunt down and exact bloody revenge on anyone caught using any such word. Succesful as this strategy was, it led to their undoing when it brought them to the attention of the Catholic church. Fantatical as they were, the Tafkapists proved no match for the might of the Vatican and the religion was effectively destroyed and the name of their deity itself removed from the English language.

Modern scholars can but speculate on the name of the Tafkap deity, but it is rumoured that the religion still survives underground, with artifacts occasionally surfacing without anyone being aware of their dark significance.

I've always wondered, why are there no care bears in zoos?

hurple rhymes with purple
curple rhymes with purple

hurple is a scottish word.
still used in scotland.
it means to hobble.
or walk with a limp.

curple is a strap under the girth
of a horses saddle
to stop the saddle kicking forward

Oh and bean tomato sauce is runnier cos they've put some sort of thinner in there. heinz ketchup is for dipping and squirting on food rather than stuff for food to swim in.

(that didnt make sense did it?)


.......... why exactly does peanut butter get flour out of your hair?

Gosh, someone's been at the rhyming dictionary! Other words rhyming with purple include murple (a horrific method of assassination involving plums), lurple (a verb meaning "to lick creepily") and zurple (a purple zebra).

.......... why exactly does peanut butter get flour out of your hair?

It doesn't, but it's fun telling people it does and watching them getting even messier trying it. heheheheheh...

Why does the British constitution allow funny fancy dress costumes to be worn in the house of Lords but not in the house of Commons?

Because if MP's wore clogs, tights, fur capes and funny grey wigs nobody would vote for them.

Why do bishops wear big pointy hats and carry giant novelty shepherd hooks?