Story

View · by **Otif** » 23 May 2006, 19:40

Hello all,

I was looking around on the web and actually found a story I wrote almost 15 years ago. It was a request from a girlfriend I had who wanted a story about two ladies playing together. Well I was much younger and less experienced than I am now (as the writing and some terms may show) but over all I am happy with the outcome. Re-reading this story I see several spelling and grammatical errors and even a few places I would fix if I ever got the inclination to do so. So what I'm saying is that it is NOT golden prose but I hope you will all find it entertaining nonetheless. All I know is that at the time it made my girlfriend very happy and she really enjoyed the dialogue, oh and the pies.

I can't believe it is still on the Internet!

Enjoy and comments welcomed.

http://www.chocmess.com/stories/Aviar/dogfault.htm

Otif

View · by **Otif** » 23 May 2006, 21:27

No comments?

View · by **Otif** » 24 May 2006, 00:58

34 people read the thread (hopefully the story) and no comments?? Seriously good / bad I 'd love to hear them.

View · by **Hayley** » 24 May 2006, 10:16

Probably all guests!!

Will give it my bedtime reading test tonight!

Hayley

View · by **DecadentDoll** » 24 May 2006, 12:08

You'll find a lot of people lack the time and patience for a story where there aren't any pictures sadly.

Of course,I am not one of these people, only just caught the thread and just read the story. Cheeky and fun, a touch of realism...and oodles of mess.

Me likee

made me want to get together with a friend in the kitchen....y'know, just 'cos...

View · by **Otif** » 24 May 2006, 16:45

It started out being a bit realistic then of course got drowned out in the fetish side, not that there is anything wrong with that.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the comment.

View · by **KingArthur** » 24 May 2006, 17:08

Just read your story, Otif, and it's an absolute corker. I enjoy long stories (a fan of LOTR and Discworld - neither of whom have short chapters) and this one held my attention from the first phone call til the last conversation. Well done, Sir. I liked the way the story had structure, and every pie was a seperate event.

King Arthur

View · by **Otif** » 24 May 2006, 22:13

I appreciate your comments. It was my aim to make each pie splut seperate from the rest with reactions and such.

Story

Story

wow

Thanks

ty

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