Who should be.....

[the bulber]

Billie piper can't last forever, so who would you like to see as Dr Who's next assistant?

My apologies to forum members from outside the UK who haven't a clue what I'm talking about.

[DrWhoFan]

Natalie...in the outfit she got sploshed in.

[Hayley]

I think even the Americans know about Dr Who - though they may not have caught up on Billie Piper yet.

This is a bloody good idea for a post, and has set me thinking about planets and monsters they could encounter - the Piebermen for a start!

Come on, you Whovians, let's be having ideas for messy Dr Who adventures.

Hayley

[the bulber]

I was thinking about the poor sods on Easter Island.

[Sploshman]

DD all the way with her lovely puppies and if not her then the sexy Natalie from the Bizzare session.

[Hayley]

I'm thinking Clown Julie would have a problem getting her big frocks through the door of the Tardis...

Hayley

[the bulber]

No! the same set of physics laws that govern the internal proportions of the tardis apply equally to the door.
What does worry me is the physical proportions of Clown Julie's breasts.
All that spinning around when travelling through space would create enormous centrifugal forces on them.
This centrifugal force would cause the breasts to expose themselves on an involuntary basis.
The following equation covers this in simple terms:-

(Clown Julie + big frock) + (Tardis travelling + centrifugal force) = pop outs

[andy250]

I think we could get Julie's frock through the doors no prob, its just if she can get back out with frock still on!!!!!!!!

[the bulber]

Oh the frock will still be on, it's just that the centrifugal force will have instilled in her breasts a mind of their own.
I will have to do further calculations to see if they can be put back in frock or will she be able to exit the tardis with them out.

[ClownJulie]

.................

[Spinynorman and Frilly]

There would of course be the Ice Cream Warriors who spray their enemies with raspberry ripple ray guns thus rendering them imobile except for a slight squirming.

[Guest]

Centrifugal force would have the opposite effect on the pies.
As your breasts came flying out so would the pies go flying in.
There would be a celestial supernova of mammary tissue and pie.

[the bulber]

Sorry all done a Dolly.

[TottyMcGee]

Wouldn't the TARDIS be just the perfect sploshing venue? Limitless space, huge wardrobe of all manner of dressy-uppy clothes and doubtless some magical Gallifreyan means of cleaning up afterwards (probably involving dematerializing all the mess and trash into space).

There was that episode in the last Slyvester McCoy season that had the "gunge execution" angle, with prisoners in lush velvet costumes being covered in thick, hot, sticky red nougat (which apparently was fatal). When the cute girl was threatened with this fate, it was naturally foiled. I remember thinking it was such a shame that they didn't go through with it.

[the bulber]

The sonic screw driver for opening those items that are difficult to open with slippery fingers.