Gungeslut - please read this (Re:Sept Meet-Up )

[messymercedes]

I really cant believe all this is happening. Let me make one thing perfectly clear from the start, i dont dress to offend anyone, The pvc dress and boots i wore at the last meet i had already worn out several times clubbing and raving, to me its me expressing myself and being just me, I just so happen to like getting messy in it as well at later dates.

There was only 1 other female present at the last meetup and this is where the flack is coming from I didnt know her real name and to be honest still cant remember if she did tell me it.

She did pm me at a different date asking if i would be interested to going to a small meetup in Essex and also asked then if i would dress down a bit due to the meet being in Chelmsford somewhere. Needless to say i didnt go as i will go wearing what i want to wear, not what i am told, For christs sake i go to clubs in Chelmsford dressed exactly like that and no-one gives a toss and we always go in pubs first as well.

I have never met Bobby or Laura but after all this would love to, damn it this is the 21st century, gays can legally marry, You wear what you want to mate.

Whats is annoying me mostly though is the fact that since this meetup G_S has met me when dids and myself with no hesitation gave the locations of our claypond to the organiser of the mudmeet and even went out of our way to find them when they got lost. Nothing was mentioned at all during this meet, if thats not hyprocrosy then what is.

I think the best way of dealing with our fetish is to let people know, i have now introduced 2 of my friends into it pics of which have been posted on forums and they both love it, if i hadnt told them they would never even have known about it let alone tried it. And yes, once dids leg is ok again i have another 3 friends who are up for it as well.

I liked G_S and this has upset me, perhaps she is not yet ready to come out of her closet so to speak in really public places.

Hayley: Once dids leg is better just might come down your local sounds good "normal" people lol.

Mercedes x

[Jonny]

I simply cannot believe this conversation is happening.

So Bobby wants to wear a dress, its not that much more catching of the eye than the hideous shirt of Easy As!

I think its a case of washing our dirty laundry (in this case little skimpy dress, shoulder length wig and heels) in public in what should have remained a private matter.

We shouldn't be ashamed of our fetish. If it's one thing Dolly's taught me in her escapades, embrace it, flaunt it, and share it.

I've told close friends, some have said "sounds good" others have said "whatever floats your boat" and some have said "....yeah right"

As the great Irish prophet D. O' Wallydoodah sez "A good mind is an open one" we cant help if the rest of humanity is closed minded.

Who knows that person over the corner may want to share a bucket of custard with you, you never know.

It appears it's not just Russel Brand who's got issues.

[Phantom]

Hi Johnny

I don't think it should have been kept a private matter. I think it's good and healthy to discuss the problem.

You're right - we shouldn't be ashamed of our fetish. But the fact is that many people are. For some, they'd like to take that big step of meeting other people with the same fetish, but they feel so nervous about it, they'd like it to be as low key as possible.

Of course, everyone is entitled to dress as flamboyantly as possible ... but it's a shame if that deters some of the more shy people in the community from coming out to meet everyone.

That's all it's about - some people approached Easy As in person, others by PM, saying they felt uncomfortable with Bobby attracting attention to them when they were already feeling incredibly insecure.

I know what you're saying - they should get over it, they shouldn't care what others think. You're very right! I expect you're thinking "If they can't handle Bobby's choice to dress as a woman, then that's their problem and they can bugger off."

Everyone has their own level of bravery. Easy As was simply asking Bobby if he'd be willing to come as a man, for the sake of those who aren't quite as comfortable about coming out of the WAM closet and don't have that devil-may-care level of confidence.

Phantom

[easy_as_]

I simply cannot believe this conversation is happening.

So Bobby wants to wear a dress, its not that much more catching of the eye than the hideous shirt of Easy As!

I think its a case of washing our dirty laundry (in this case little skimpy dress, shoulder length wig and heels) in public in what should have remained a private matter.

I have just logged in this morning to catch up with the saga that was really supposed to be a quiet, discreet private message.
Little did I realise such a hiatus was going to be created.

This whole thing, while it may bring healthy debate to the matter, has become horribly divisive.

I meant no offence as has been stated, I was passing on concerns and as far as hypocrisy, I mentioned in passing to Dids about Mercedes' dress.
Since Dids and Mercedes can't make this next meet then I didn't PM them about similar issues. I have no problem in confronting issues.
I just like to tread carefully to avoid exactly this situation, a ridiculously overblown flame war ( admittedly not here).

As for no-one putting their hand up and saying that they are Sparticus in all of this, well look, even a shot across the bows has rattled this many cages,
imagine any people who did put their name to this. They would be hung out to dry. It's not a straight like it or lump it, black and white issue for reasons that have been stated.

Anybody who has met me at a meet knows I try to be inclusive to everyone. I think that to create a positive vibe is the most important thing.

And if anyone is interested to know how I phrased it in the PM, I used the phrase ' would make the meet uncomfortable ' not the misquote of ' you are unwelcome ' , there is a world of difference.
I think this should have remained a private dialogue between me and Bobby
and for this to have boiled up in such a way, I am truly sorry to those who feel some kind of regime has taken over.

It is also true that just because somebody wants to be one way doesn't mean they have to be, there are other peoples feelings to take on board too.

The challenge is to keep both camps happy.
Why not have two meets ?

One with a loose dress code ( I don't necessarily mean loose dresses btw ) that is to say how it is now . . . .
. . . and another meet for those who want to have NO dress code ? It can't be that difficult to organise.
It is just a thought, so don't shoot me down.
That is where a compromise can be reached. It didn't need all this freedom of expression talk.

One mans' meat is another mans' poison.


And as for my shirt ?

I was waiting for that.

I can retire it. It is no problem, it is a shame, but I dont have to wear it.


Consider it binned.

easy_as_

Hendrix Club Shirt R.I.P.

[stu08]

end of the day you wear wot eva you like its a free country

[BillShipton]

Oh no, Easy As's shirt becomes collateral damage of the flame war! Send in the US Polyester-Keeping Force.

Good mind to wear the PVC jeans to the meet as a tribute to Mercedes - though I don't look as good in the stuff as she does!

Not going to comment on the 'war' though those of you who has seen the pics of me in the pub on this forum can probably guess where I stand.

Oh and on the subject of beer which came up earlier. I have drunk Speckled Hen (which is available in our pub in bottled form) and Bishops Finger (which also used to be the name of a very good pub rock band). But I'm not strong enough to drink them all night. After five hours I'd fall down, and nights in the Fountain are now averaging seven or eight!

[andy250]

I got one of those pack things one christmas with all weird ales in it. I think bishops finger was one of them in that. I am still hoping to make the meet depends on the finances etc.

May bring some speckled hen to drink in honour of DD

regards

Andy

[easy_as_]

end of the day you wear wot eva you like its a free country

No, the decision has been made, and yes as a result I will wear what I want and it won't be that shirt.

I am at peace with my decision.

[DecadentDoll]

Living in Belfast and being into metal and goth... I've had everything from bad comments to stones thrown at me, to even a kicking because I went out wearing what I wanted to.


People uncomfortable with others individuality are no different to those who picked on me in the playground or in town.


So come as you are and go as you like... anyone who doesnt like it, fuckin suck it up or fuck off

[andy250]

Nice one DD, remember to get louder and stronger every time, now Bill appears to be wincing a bit on the speckled hen front. Then again its not as bad as newcky brown!!!! now that is falling over tackle.

That also does not include the mad ciders i tried while having my time in Plymouth. I can't remember the names I'm sure Johnny could help me out here.

Next time you meet Johnny DD get him to bring some with him, now thats proper loopy juice.

regards

Andy

[DecadentDoll]

Nice one DD, remember to get louder and stronger every time, now Bill appears to be wincing a bit on the speckled hen front. Then again its not as bad as newcky brown!!!! now that is falling over tackle.

That also does not include the mad ciders i tried while having my time in Plymouth. I can't remember the names I'm sure Johnny could help me out here.

Next time you meet Johnny DD get him to bring some with him, now thats proper loopy juice.

regards

Andy

I've never ever actually met Jonny!

lol .. used to drink a bit of Newcy brown when i hung round with some right dirty old metallers, it is indeed falling over tackle. I wouldn't be a really regular ale drinker, but whatever's on sale goes down easy, and Old speckled hen isn't bad!

I love my cider, Bill will testify to the amount of Magners I was drinking last time. Also love this new Kopparberg pear cider.

Scrummy yum yum.

[messylaura]

oh dear i came here in a happy mood just discovering splosh had a forum, and just seen my unfortunate atire problem got here before me

i've not read all the posts on the thread as i'm not going to get into this argument / discussion here

but i will say for those that dont know me i do dress alot as laura at night time events and depending on the circumstances i dress accordingly, if it is a pub event like the meet then it will be something to blen into that, if its a night clun then itd somethigy very sexy etc that will again fit into that, just as any woman would do

also the reason i had gone to previous umd meets as laura was because i was not aware that many people didnt approve, i asked the first time and was given the ok, it was pmed a few days ago by one person that there were others that now dont approve, i put it into open thread at umd, where the meet is held to see how many of the people actully turning up would be upset if i come as laura
if indeed say 10 people were definatly comming and 6 would be offended then i would have not gone.

but as it is at the moment i will be going because there are acouple of new faces i want to meet and they have said its ok by them, as have some old members, so i'll kinda be off to the side and not really get involved in the main group
also the other reason i'm going as Laura is i have another party to goto after the meet finished at 12 ish and its impacticale and not possible to go to the soho meet as Bobby then back home then 2 hours getting fixed up as laura and back to soho again

besides, i hardly ever feel happy going to such night time fun events as Bobby
if i went there as Bobby i'd regret it and just feel misrable.

[Smiley]

This thing has got so much out of control i just can't beleive it to be honest.

I just think it's a sad end to what the group had.

Just thought id let you know i agree with the quotes below.

Life goes on...

Phantom
Everyone has their own level of bravery. Easy As was simply asking Bobby if he'd be willing to come as a man, for the sake of those who aren't quite as comfortable about coming out of the WAM closet and don't have that devil-may-care level of confidence.

Easy_As
I think that to create a positive vibe is the most important thing. Anybody who has met me at a meet knows I try to be inclusive to everyone.

[messylaura]

I just think it's a sad end to what the group had.

sad end, gees thats going too far?

dont worry , i'll make it my last meet then

[DecadentDoll]

Sad end?

With all due respect that makes it seem like it's a bit of an elitist group.

"You cant play with us 'cos you don't have the right clothes on" ... I'm not saying you're intolerant people, I've been to the meets and you all seemed really nice to me.

God I understand all the points people have made. But this is 2006. If you can muster up the bravery to go to the pub in the first place, then you can certainly deal with a man in female attire. I very much doubt Laura will be table dancing, or acting like Emily Howard.

Yeah, this was meant to be private. Yeah it's all been blown out of proportion. But a sad end to what the "group had" .... that's a bit of an exaggeration.

What if someone had a problem with black people? People with tourettes? Irish girls? Obese people? Anyone above the age of 35?

Yes I dared to say what others were thinking....


*paints a rainbow and requests that everyone join hands and realise that we're all the same under the fucking sun*

"Oh! Come on you people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now"