Please COver Me

[CustardBloke]

would About Females Like to Gunge me then as i never been Gunge Before and would love to be Gunged or pied or covered please Help me

[DecadentDoll]

I'd suggest Pm'ing a few, striking up a friendship, not just horny chatting instantly.

a lot of guys add to msn and instantly say "nice tits i'd like to cover them in custard"

as GS and others will agree its a bit offputting.

Not to discourage anyone, mind you.

Just be nice, chat a bit, get to know the person, then they'll be more likely to meet up and gunge you

Alternatively for those who have the money, sessions are memorable and fun fun fun!

Up to the individual guy i suppose!

x x x DD

[TottyMcGee]

Though I'm not actually a woman and make no secret of this fact, that hasn't prevented me from getting the (unsolicited) special treatment on occasion from the Horny Net Troll (HNT) brigade - it's so touching when they think me saying I'm not female is just a lousy way of playing hard to get, and truly beautiful watching their reactions when the truth suddenly dawns.

So good advice from DD, the key to getting anywhere is not acting like a selfish troll, realising this is a two-way thing and appearing as an interesting person worth talking to instead of just another HNT.

A few other points of my own;

- Be personal, say how the person you are writing to caught your eye in the first place - it's always good to open with a (sincere, not a chat-up cliché) compliment. Send something that looks like it's been spammed to every vaguely female looking name on the user list and you shouldn't expect a reply.
Also make it easy for the recipient to tell something about you - when I get a message from someone looking to play, the first thing I do is look at their profile. If that's a no go, I ask them to tell me about themselves (if they don't know about me it's because they haven't looked at my profile, site, forum posts or anything else I've made available and can therefore take a hike).

- No-one is impressed by unsolicited dick photos turning up out of the blue from guys who think it's a sure fire way to score (at least no-one I've talked to - if any of the girls here disagree by all means say so), not least because they show up so bloody often. If you send these as an opening overture and seriously expect any response other than "isn't it small?", "is that your face?" or similar witticism you really need to get out of the house more as a matter of urgency.

- Be communicative, but be careful not to be too needy. We all love attention and compliments, but when the conversation turns from friendly banter and talk of having a play together for fun to a barrage of incredibly long e-mails spouting desperate clichés about soul mates, how wonderful and life-affirming it was to have met and how life itself was worthless beforehand, the needle on the Psycho Early Warning Detector (PEWD) goes up like a rocket.

- If you get as far as arranging a session, turn up for it. If something genuinely comes up to prevent you getting there, have the decency to cancel and send your apologies as soon as possible. Even if you just get cold feet, call and cancel rather than just naffing off without a word. There is no shortage of time-wasters in this scene, in one sense it's understandable that it takes guts to take that first step from just having the fantasy to making it reality, but when someone else has made an effort to commit for you, letting them down without a word just sucks.

- If you buy a pro-session, you are paying for a WAM session with a professional model, not a whore to do what you will with - if you come in expecting that, you will be told where to get off in short order (individual pros will be happy to discuss their own particular services and limits with you). You get to call the shots a bit more than you might otherwise, but keep it within reason and show respect. Yet another reason for showing respect when chatting initially - money or none, fail the PEWD test and you won't get anywhere.

[DecadentDoll]

It's all there Miss Helen ...and i'm not being a sycophant here, but i think that should be published and pinned somewhere on the forum, and other forums as a general guide to go by. It's all true to form and great advice

x x x DD

[Jonny]

---- now is worried that Dolly is a PEWD....


Love ya longtime, Miss Doo Dah

[TottyMcGee]

Thanks DD!

As a disclaimer, I might add that I myself often fail the PEWD test, but that's because I am, in fact, a psycho. Go ahead, look at the image to the left of this image and tell me that looks like the picture of a normal, balanced sane person. I don't believe you can.

Andy has refused to let me set up pie shoots in his bathroom since I started insisting that he stand out of shot screeching a violin rhythmically as I chucked the flans. I don't know why, but it just felt complete with that.

"But Mother, they just want to play... "

[Hayley]

I agree with DD, excellent advice. Will try and work out the electronic equivalent of cutting it out and pinning it up on the site, and do it.

Somehow the idea of Andy playing a violin doesn't quite hold together for me

Thanks. You put it a lot more eloquently than I would have.

Love
The woman in the chair who looks like a 20-year-old blonde from behind but is turned round to reveal she's a skeleton in a wig xxx

[andy250]

I am learning the violin as we speak not!!!! it is a funny one this though, I now am more cautious about who I meet for a session cos their can be some real time wasters. I must admit though everybody on here seems very genuine unlike on some other sites that shall stay nameless umd!!! oh i've gone and done it again!!!

I'll still gunge anybody as long as their genuine, plus we need some photos of Hayley in the orginal Pig Pen!!!!!!! (wearing a nice suit I feel)

regards

Andy

[Hayley]

Nobody has come up with any photos of that occasion, sadly, even though some were taken. Either the guys there have lost them or are too ashamed to admit to being there!

Think I'm a bit old to recreate it! Though I must admit to occasionally passing mucky fields etc on my travels and thinking...hmmmm, what if...
The pond looks good too.

Hayley x

[andy250]

I feel you are more than welcome in the pond with your sploshing c.v. would love to see DD do a turn in it as well. Or we could throw Victoria in for being too snooty!!! there's also plenty of mud as proved by messy Jo.

regards

Andy
oh yeah and Gilly for being to silly!!

[BillShipton]

Gilly would come as a shock to anyone who hasn't met her and sploshed with her. Very manic!

Did we mention her new DVD is out? Oh, yes we did!

[ManInMessyKnickers]

I'd like to say that Helen and DD's comments/advice is very good and should be paid attention to. Like you all say, everyone on here seems to be genuine.

Also, I'd love to offer my services in a rather unusual way. I'd very much like to recreate that infamous pig pen event of Hayley's. I'd like to dress in the same way as Hayley did and make myself up like hayley and then do what she did. If any of you out there would like to help out with this then please let me know. Miss. Helen maybe i could use one of your spots?? Obviously photos would need to be taken. I love the idea of recreating and doing a homage to Hayley and her messy antics.

Please please let me know what you think. Hayley, maybe i could even borrow one of your outfits and undies to make it as realistic as possible?

Let me know.

[DELETED]

DELETED

[DecadentDoll]

I had someone once say "we like the same music and fetish we should be together"

"a) ive only started speaking to you and b) where do you live?"

"oh im in surrey but there's nothing keeping me here i could move to belfast"

[TottyMcGee]

I've been a young, insecure male coming to terms with suddenly finding a place of belonging online, it is a hugely overwhelming experience and you do get carried away (though had I not got as carried away as I did I'd never have done much of what I did as a result and would have missed out on a hell of a lot of fun). When I started 'coming out', I wrote an essay about the experience that I posted on my website at the time and was genuinely touched by the number of people who wrote to me saying it had helped them come to terms themselves (this also helped me eradicate any lingering guilt over my kinky side - not only was I not hurting anyone, I was able to help people too).

But this new found sense of zeal can lead to mistakes which end up alienating people you want to make friends with, both in the desire to yell it to the world (the world doesn't care and actually finds it boring and irritating when people go on and on about their obsessions - my Dad's reaction to my first WAM site, which I'd showed him as a sort of confession, was that it was like someone showing him their bee keeping site) and also in the common adolescent instinct to cling to the first potential partner that shows things in common - when a young male develops a crush, something happens in the brain and he slips into one of two modes; jerk or weirdo. Maybe that's why jerks score so often, when the button goes off in the brain that pushes them into jerk mode no-one notices a diference.

So while on the one hand there is the case to be made for cutting guys a little slack as we really are victims of hormones, at the same time it does no harm whatsoever for the guys themselves to know in advance that these pitfalls exist, so they can better watch out for what they're typing when jerk/weirdo mode strikes. What seems like a courageous romantic statement to the sender can easily cross over into stalker territory, and it can be hard in that mindset to recognise the difference before it's too late.