Is sploshing with someone other than your partner cheating?

[smearmeslow]

I would go crazy if i new my girlfriend was upto anything like that with another guy. but i can see your what u are saying tho.

[andy250]

I would go crazy if i new my girlfriend was upto anything like that with another guy. but i can see your what u are saying tho.

Thats an interesting comment, as you are asking the girls to splosh you on other threads, is not unfair on your new girlfriend to splosh with other women?????????

Very intresting thread, shows how each person has their own personal boundaries depending on their character and position in life.

Thanks to all those who have commented so far.

regards

Andy

[hooray4clay]

My other half has offered to let me splosh someone else (even courtesy of the Splosh Empire) as it's not really her thing but I'm afraid I would feel like I was cheating on her... even though it's her present and idea.
Each to their own, no simple answer I guess

[stonecastle]

By the way I suppose that those outside the sposhing community for whom it is not a fetish would not think that it was cheating. I think it is only if you are into it that you consider it cheating.

Here is an example when that magician David Blane was in London back in 2000 in that plastic box a man was caught throwing eggs at his box by Davids' furious girlfriend and onsite security. She then took the box of eggs off him and pelted him with them. As this wasn't one of David Blanes fetishes I don't think that he would have been furious with her for sploshing someone else.

[SamW]

She then took the box of eggs off him and pelted him with them. As this wasn't one of David Blanes fetishes I don't think that he would have been furious with her for sploshing someone else.

[DungeonMasterOne]

I would go crazy if i new my girlfriend was upto anything like that with another guy. but i can see your what u are saying tho.

Out of curiosity, why? I know lots of people think that way, but I don't really understand it.

I haven't sploshed with a non-partner & am currently not attached. My comments are just general thoughts on the issue.

Understood. I've answered point by point, hope it doesn't come over to argumentative, it's not meant to.

I should probably clarify my own situation:

I'm an asexual, with a clothed splosh fetish. I have no desire at all to ever have sex with anyone, don't even like being naked. I have a girlfriend who I live with, she's gay, and sexual, and has a steady g/f (who I'm also mates with). She isn't into sploshing (though she did try it so knows what's involved), but has other fetishes of her own, some of which are shared by other mutual friends. She's free to pursue her own tastes, and I'm free to pursue mine. We don't have secrets from each other, and make sure we both know what each of us is getting up to at any given time.

"If, as someone who wants to do sploshing with someone other than your partner, would you be happy for your partner to indulge his/her favourite kink with someone other than you?"

This is a version of 'do as you would be done by' - ie understand and sympathise with the feelings of your partner & use this as a guide when deciding how to act.

Not quite - I'm talking about fully out in the open discussions beforehand, not trying to second-guess your way through situations as they happen.

But suppose your partner DID indulge in a fetish without telling you.

Then they have cheated on you. A trustable partner simply wouldn't do that.

'Do as you would be done by' implies you should imagine yourself in their position and as a result not want to punish them - because if you were in their shoes you wouldn't want to be punished yourself.

Sorry, but that makes no sense at all. 'Do as you would be done by' means that you discuss the issues and sort things out in advance, not that you have to sympathise with someone who genuinely does cheat.

"Sorry the word 'secretly' does it for me."

I'm not sure that secrecy itself condemns an act. Pretty much all relationships have secrets and partners at some stage lie to one another - very often because they want to avoid harming the other person in some way.

That's not my idea of a relaionship - if you truly love someone, you simply do not lie to them, ever. Being 100% truthful isn't always easy, especially at first, but it's the only way to build genuinely strong and enduring relationships.

My position is simply that:
1) sploshing with someone is not the same as sleeping with someone;
2 its not clear if its cheating because 'cheating' is an ambiguous term;
3) but it may be imprudent - so if you are found out, be prepared to pay the penalty;
4) if this bothers you - don't do it.

1. True in an absolute sense, but if it's being done for the purpose of a sexual turn on, then it pretty much is the same. Before contraception, non-sexual kinks could have been regarded as "less risky" as there was less danger of getting anyone pregnant, but the pill+condom combination pretty much guarentees no risk even in full sex situations. So you have to look at the motivation and deires behind the situation. If a fetishist reaches orgasm via the fetish, how is that different to a non fetishist doing it via copulation?

2. To me, cheating is indulging in sexual behaviour with someone other than your partner(s), "behind their back(s)". It's the doing it without the other person(s) knowing about it that makes it cheating.

3. May be one way of looking at it, but what about the hurt caused to the other person(s)? What would bother me most about that kind of situation wouldn't be the hassle / problems it might cause me, it would be knowing that I'd badly hurt someone else.

4. That I can agree with!

[messymercedes]

Anything other than not telling them from the start would be wrong in my view and also wrong for me to not let them know otherwise (as my thoughts would be playing up with me 24-7).



Also a lot of the ladies that do private messy sessions with guys DO have partners so i do wonder what there thoughts are with this as it can get v.sexual and risque at times as seen in various pics.

Very good points Sploshy, I have had loadsa requests to wam with fella's but wont do private sessions at the mo as i have a bf an i know he wuldnt like it

Cede xx

[jon42]

Well, I'm still pretty young and it's not been an issue for me since I've managed to get my only steady girlfriend to try it and she's enjoyed it... but it seems to me that unless the parter is aware of and has agreed to liberal sploshing then I would call it cheating.

Simple test:
Would you be in trouble if your parter found out?

Yes- cheating
No- jackpot!

[Invicta]

Well, I'm still pretty young and it's not been an issue for me since I've managed to get my only steady girlfriend to try it and she's enjoyed it... but it seems to me that unless the parter is aware of and has agreed to liberal sploshing then I would call it cheating.

Simple test:
Would you be in trouble if your parter found out?

Yes- cheating
No- jackpot!

That seems to be a pretty logical way to look at it. If your partner knows and is OK with the idea of you sploshing with someone else, then it's probably not cheating. If you're doing it behind their back, and you'd catch hell from them if they found out, then it's a pretty sure bet that it is...