Happy Birthday Billikins!!

[Squelch]

Many happy returns captain Bill

[Splitsonic]

Hope you had a great Birthday Bill.
Shame about Lewis Hamilton not winning F1 Championship.

[captain sensible]

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Biii-iiill
Happy birthday to you!

[BillShipton]

Oh No!! And I thought that we were going to have to do it all again!!

Juggs xxx

Well, since it was shot on Hi8 you could do a digital version thereby saving the bother of me transferring it and you having the fun of all those pies again! I am willing if you are!!

Thanks again every one

Bill

[Sploshman]

Been away for a minute and missed this.

BELATED HAPPY RETURNS BILL .

Hope Hayley gave you a good messing up for it.

[Hayley]

Hi

Sorry I haven't been around much. Off to Spain again next week and been rushing around doing my British job for the past couple of weeks.

Thanks to all those who wished Bill well on his birthday, and to those who asked me what happened. Well, it was wonderfully weird for us cos we didn't go to the pub! Instead we went to see 90-year-old former music hall impressionist Victor Seaforth celebrate his birthday by putting a show at the function room attached to the block of old people's flats where Bill's parents live. It doesn't sound very promising and to be honest I was dreading it, but it was such a laugh!

For a start we decided to make it an event by both dressing as if we were going to a Royal Variety Performance in the 70s. Bill was in tux and frilly shirt and me in long satin evening dress (yes, I do have SOME non-tarty gear!). The function room had a bar - so that was okay - and it was packed with old people including Bill's Mum and Dad, Obviously I had met them before (Bill's Mum is sweet and funny, and his Dad a grumpy old git - so they are just like Bill in his different moods!) but hadn't met their neighbours. What a raucous crowd! Far from being the doddery old bunch I expected, they were very lively. One old girl (at least 80) kept showing me dirty jokes on her mobile ("You do know how to scroll down, don't you, dear?") whilst one or two of the men seemed very keen on getting me to dance (I can't do ballroom) and kept patting my bottom. The irony of the outfits was lost on them. They thought it was great we had 'dressed properly'.

Anyway the show featured not only Victor doing his impressions (not much call for Roosevelt impersonating these days) but also an 80-year-old yodelling accordianist, a 60-year-old comedy belly dancer, a smarmy compere and the cheesiest wedding singer in the business (he even ended on My Way!). Bill loved it - and so did I. By that time everyone was joining in (except Bill's Dad who told me he was having a great evening cos he'd switched both his hearing aids off and was saving a night's battery life!), and the oldies were telling us we must come and visit them again.

Thanks to the bar I had a great time, sung along and flirted with lots of randy old men! BUT I must admit I needed more. So we got a cab home at midnight and I was feeling horny as hell. Sadly we had no mess prepared but Bill had been given a birthday cake by a couple in the pub (thanks George & Lyn). It wasn't creamy enough to throw or sit in, but I had other ideas. Capturing my mood perfectly, Bill carried me up to the bedroom (still in my best frock) an threw me onto the bed. Then he offered me some cake. "Yes, please!" I replied finding my dress hoiked up, knickers pulled down and a handful of iced spoonge rubbed right into my pussy. It was followed by another and another until I was quite full! So I offered him my other hole and that too got stuffed to the brim with sticky cake. The rest got rubbed roughly into my face ruining my perfect make-up and long-prepared hair and pushed into my notoriously gobby mouth. We then had wonderfully rough, slap-happy sex that left by one satin gown smeared with cake, cream, jam, icing and cock custard! The dry cleaner will have fun with that. Amazingly nothing got ripped.

I haven't laughed so much (often at the incongruity of the old people's party followed by our pervy romp) in ages. Of course, I wish it was messier but being a true story this is what happened so sorry for that. Perhaps you had to be there to appreciate it. But I certainly did. For impromptu fun, it was fantastic.

So thanks to George and Lyn for the cake - I can honestly say it was surprisingly filling! Thanks to the old codgers for the unwitting foreplay. And thanks to Victor for inviting us. Music hall may be dead but it still provided me with a lot of entertainment!

Happy birthday again, you old fart, Bill. I think the crumbs are finally all out!

Hayley

PS Of course, Bill got some cake too - all over his solo stand-up act. And very nice it tasted too.

[Richard]

Great to hear you both had a good time Hayley. Never underestimate the OLD gits! For me, after long years of work drudgery, life began at 55 when I retired (over ten years ago)

Rich